Even If It's A Lie

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I sit on my bed, listening
To the sweet waves of his voice crash in my ears
And I try.

But your words calmly rise to the top today,
And while they slowly crept in,
They cause a whirlwind of self hatred to fly through and destroy everything in it's path.

Why did you have to do that?
Why didn't you do that?
Why don't you love her?
Do you love him?
Why or why not?
Why can't you be tidy?
Why can't you be a good friend?
Why can't you be a good lover?
Why can't you be a good daughter?
Why can't you be a good person?
Why aren't you a good person?
Why? Why? Why?
Why? Why?
Why?

I scream into the void, but all that echoes back is the same scream;
Yet to me it sounds different.

Why can't I just cease to exist

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