Netpals || Harry Styles

N i n e

N i n e

We all builds walls to shield and protect ourselves from danger that other people could cause. It's human nature. We protect ourselves to prevent pain whether physical, mental or emotional. And we build those walls up in the first place because of one element that is fear.  

And in my case, I am in fear from what my emotional, mental being could do. I am in fear of having temporary happiness because I know that it doesn't last long and when the happiness ends, it really stings so much. I am scared to continue talking to Harry because I do admit that he does bring me some kind of happiness. It feels nice to know that someone out there in the world is interested in you and actually wants to talk to you. And with Harry I feel that, and that makes me unbelieving happy. But that's exactly what makes me scared because I don't know how long that temporary feeling would last, and I want to spare myself from the crash burning feeling that will result in the end.

But my way of building my walls and protecting myself is by ignoring that source. So in this case, it is Harry. Each day I crave to go on Wattpad and talk to this boy. Each hour I am wondering what we would be talking about if I was on Wattpad. Each minute I think about Harry. And each second I just feel worse and worse, the pain inside building tremendously. 

But isn't this supposed to make me feel better? 

I don't know what it is about Harry, but there's something about him, or something about talking to him that makes me want to continue messaging him. I like the feeling of talking to him. He makes me feel less lonely and that's a feeling that I crave. It's funny how opinions could change so quickly. I went from hating his guts to actually enjoying his company. 

But I'm scared. I have opened up to someone before and it just resulted to me crashing hard in the end. And I don't want it to happen once more. 

Coming back home from work, I let out a big yawn. I just feel like curling up in a ball in bed, so that's exactly what I do. I peel off my uniform and put on my pyjamas before slipping under the covers, laying on my side, and opening my laptop. 

I hear a dinging noise and groan. That's the twentieth one in the past four days. He makes it so hard to ignore him. 

But there's another feeling inside of me that likes hearing that noise because it means that he is thinking of me and actually wants to talk to me. 

After thinking that thought, I quickly log in and click on our conversation. 

styles94: There's is a point, Daisy. 

styles94: There's a point in everything we do.

styles94: I'm really sorry, I truly am. You don't know how horrible I feel right now.

styles94: Daisy?

styles94: Are you there? :(

styles94: Are you ignoring me? 

styles94: It been a day and you still haven't replied. 

styles94: Everything alright? 

styles94: Daisy?

styles94: Daisssyyyyy. 

styles94: Two days now. 

styles94: I'm really sorry for making you think like that. 

styles94: I am wrong, there are happily ever afters and you may have yours too, Daisy. Don't give up now. You have to live your life to its fullest and on the way you will find someone and love them and live happily ever after. 

styles94: I don't want to spam you too much, but it's the third day without hearing from you. 

styles94: I miss seeing your messages. 

styles94: I know I am an arse but I will always be here for you if you need it. 

styles94: If you want someone to talk to, I'm here. 

styles94: I'm a good listener. 

styles94: Harry has big ears which are great for listening. 

styles94: Day four. I think I am having Daisy abstinence. 

styles94: I miss you. 

styles94: I hope you're alright, Daisy :(

styles94: I'm sorry .xx :( <3