Twisted immortality

XXIII - Need to cherish

Songkarn didn't even know how long he walked. Did it even matter that much? It was just too hard to think. Well, let's face it... Not thinking didn't exactly come into consideration. Who could just not think about this! It was absurd.

This possible solution for Anurak's curse seemed a world away from the way Songkarn's mind worked. Was he supposed to look around his own normal human selfishness? How was that even possible?

'How could someone think that I would take a dagger and plunge it into my own heart? Wasn't this exactly it? Plunging a dagger into Anurak's heart. How was it any different? He had somehow become the true definition of me. I was supposed to kill him and live on?'

'Why even consider giving in? What was the point? Oh right! I was supposed to end his life because otherwise, he would have to suffer for an eternity of living. Now, what was more important? That I didn't get blood on my hands? A scar that would not be possible to erase... Or that he would not have to live for thousands of years?'

'Was I really that unfair? I don't think so! Why should I care so much? I was going to end it with him now. I could not do this anymore. I could not give him this one thing. I was absolutely not feeling guilty! I just needed to get over this crush quickly. Who was I kidding?'

'He wasn't actually planning on telling me anyway. This was all my own fault. Why did I need to put my nose where it didn't belong? Who needed this stupid crush anyway...? Who needed love in their life? Have I gone mad now? Cause Anurak sure was when he thought that I will ever give him what he wants.' But Songkarn knew, even being this angry at him, that Anurak would have not said anything if he would have had another option.

What a screwed-up world. Nope, the rest of the world was normal. It was this one bitch from millennium ago who had made this blasted curse. Songkarn wondered. Was she the one who thought about the Beauty and the Beast fairy tale...? It seems hauntingly similar...

Now they were in a place where there was no way of being together. Or only one way of doing this which will end with Songkarn killing Anurak...

'What, no!' That wasn't even an option. How the hell could he live through this truth... this knowledge? Was he just a weak man who could not handle himself being left behind sad and alone? Being left behind.

Songkarn had to avoid watching his hands because in his imagination he was already carrying a dagger.

When Songkarn realized where his feet had carried him, he even smiled ironically for a second. He was standing at their favorite place. Every evening that they found some time to walk, they ended up in this temple. Neither of them had ever pushed religion onto each other. Their beliefs were their own. But this Buddhist temple, Wat Yan Nawa, seemed to give some peace of mind to both of them. On the balcony's edge, Songkarn stood still and smiled. He knew that no more proof was needed. He could not separate himself from Anurak and he didn't truly want to.

Songkarn turned to leave knowing he would walk back into the penthouse, into their home. Yet he wasn't sure for how long he would give Anurak the silent treatment. Or what exactly would be the next course of action? But he knew for sure that hiding wasn't helping either of them. They could not live without each other. Wasn't this whole situation horrific enough... there was no reason to make it worse by keeping to themselves. If it needed to end this gruesomely then surely it was not meant to end before they had even begun. Which meant that deciding to avoid the topic and spending another minute apart would be simply wrong.

Songkarn was turning around when he discovered a figure beside him. A woman. Clad all in black, withered face, and tired eyes. This was something that screamed out first to Songkarn. As he watched her Songkarn was awestruck. She was changing. It almost made him gape. The woman's face changed to a normal young person's face, to a pretty one. There was no way to connect the new face to the previous one. Even the hair color changed. Her eyes, they were pitch black and scary.