Chapter 72

15 3 0

-9 months later-
I feel my water break and my eyes shoot open, oh shit. "Abel!" I say shaking him awake, "w-what? Lizzy?" "Baby we've got to go to the hospital right now." I say. Abel gets up frantically, "l-Lizzy holy shit! Fuck what-" "Abel lets go!" I say grabbing his hand. I can tell he was panicking and I was too, I wasn't fucking ready to be a parent, I know Abel is and he's been very excited for our daughter to be born for months. The contractions become closer and closer together and they get more and more painful as well, "A-Abel go fucking faster!" I yell at him as I groan from the pain of another contraction, "I'm trying Lizzy!" He says back to me worriedly. I basically scream out from the next one and begin to cry, "Carmen try the breathing thing." He says to me grabbing my hand to give me some sort of comfort as he drives us to the hospital. When we finally get there Abel parks quickly and then comes to help me bringing me into the hospital. Abel keeps telling me shit like you're going to be okay and about our child, "Abel shut the fuck up!" I mumble through my labored breathing, "sorry." He says as we get in and the doctors bring me in the emergency room right away.
I'm so fucking worried about Carmen and our baby. I'm pacing back and forth in the waiting room, "god why am I being so stupid, she'll be fine." I say to myself sitting down. The nurse comes in a few minutes later, "you can come see her now mr. Tesfaye." I go in and see Carmen sitting down next to her, "s-she says it'll be a few more hours, a-Abel I don't think I can-aghhhhh!" She screams gripping my hand, "it'll be okay baby I'll be right here okay?" I say to her kissing her forehead, "y-you're gonna be a good dad Abel..." she mumbles. I smile, "you're going to be a good mom too Lizzy..." I say to her stroking her hair, "a-Abel..." she mumbles out before screaming agin.
-a few hours later-
"C'mon Lizzy," I say to Carmen trying to encourage her as she drops her head against the bed, sweat trickling down her forehead, "Just a little bit more." "It hurts Abel." She whimpers out closing her eyes a bit. I kiss her, "I know Lizzy but please you're so close..." she screams as she pushes again, her hand grabbing mine as if I'd let go and leave her, "I'm right here Lizzy..." I mumble wincing slightly as her grip was painful. "Carmen, just one more push and you'll see you're daughter," the doctor assures us. Carmen groans but pushes one last time. I hear our daughter crying and sigh in relief resting my head against Lizzy's shoulder. "Good job Carmen, would you like to hold your daughter?" She nods tiredly and the doctor brings her over to Lizzy, "she looks like us Abel..." Carmen mumbles looking over to me as smiles, "yes, beautiful..." I mumble as I touch the small hairs on top of her head gently. Carmen holds our baby's hand, "I'm so proud of you Lizzy..." I mumble to her kissing her forehead. She smiles and thanks me. "Ms. Grant we need to take care of your daughter." The doctor says. She nods and hands the baby back to the doctor.
-A few days later-
"Ms. Grant, we feel you and you're daughter Lolita are in good condition and are allowed to leave at any time." My doctor says. I smile and look to Abel, "I've got some of your clothes." Abel says handing me a bag, "thanks." I say to him taking it from him. I go into the bathroom and get dressed. I look at myself and see my weight has gone down significantly thank god. I put on my shirt and finished up coming out and seeing Abel there. I hug him and begin to cry. I don't know what to do I'm so scared, "Car everything's gonna be okay..." he mumbles kissing my forehead. "No matter what happens Abel I love you..." I say to him. We pull apart and he grabs my hand and we go get Lolita. When we get her we leave, "Abel please don't say anything about Lolita to the press okay? Please? I just can't deal with that right now." I say to him. He nods sighing. I asked him this when I found out I was pregnant too, I still wanted to continue my career.
After a few days of thinking about what would happen I decided I'd probably leave Lolita and Abel, I love them and I want them to do good and I know I probably can't stay clean and I don't want them to worry about me. When Abel leaves, going to the studio I call Abel's mom asking her to babysit and she says yes. Before she gets here I pack up my stuff and put it in my car. I write Abel a note telling him to move on and apologizing for leaving him and Lolita so soon and telling him I loved him still. I hug Lolita goodbye crying, "I love you darling..." I say to her. I put her back to bed and mrs. Tesfaye comes I thank her for watching Lolita and get into my car and leaving, going to Chase's house. When I get there he opens the door and I hug him, "can I move in with you?" I ask him. He nods confused and steps inside letting me in. I pull him into a kiss and I've never felt more confused, I don't even know who I am anymore or what I want. Fuck I'm so stupid. I feel chase wrap his arms around me and hold me tightly deepening the kiss, "thank you Chase..." I mumble, "where's Abel? What happened to you guys?" He asks me confused, "I left him to be with you baby..." I say to him smiling a bit. Was I lying to him or myself? "I love you so much Lana." He says holding me tightly. I giggle and kiss him, "Cassie!" Chase calls for his daughter and she comes running downstairs, "yes daddy?" She asks him then sees me smiling, "Lana?" She asks, "Cass Lana's gonna move in with us is that okay?" He asks her, "yes oh my god!" She hugs me and I smile hugging her back.
I come home to see my moms car, that's weird. I think as I pull into the garage. I go in and my mom smiles at me, "hi ma." I say hugging him, "hi baby, Carmen left this for you." She says handing me and envelope. I open it and find her engagement ring breaking my heart. I feel betrayed and angry as I open the letter and read it,
Abel I don't know how to say this, I'm so sorry, I can't do this. You of all people should know I'd be a terrible mother and there's always a risk of me using and I don't want Lo to see me like that and don't want you to get hurt anymore I love you. I won't answer your calls for a while so don't call unless it's an emergency,
I don't know what to do. I feel myself wanting to cry and kill Carmen all at the same time. "Fuck!" I yell angrily slamming her ring and the note down on the table causing my mom to jump, "Abel sweetie what's wrong?" She asks me, "s-She left me..." I say as tears of anger and sadness ran down my face, "honey...I-I'm sorry..." She whispers holding onto my arm, "I love her so much mom and she just wants me to forget about her..." I say angrily. I tell my mom to go home and she does. I feed Lolita and put her back to bed then take down whatever reminded me of Carmen throwing it in a box and putting it in the attic. I never want to think about her again but I knew I would, because I knew we'd still both be famous.

Carmen | Lana Del Rey x The Weekend |Read this story for FREE!