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trigger warning! read at your own risk.
suicide, blood

I wake up to an empty and cold bed, my brows furrow as I look around the room for Alex, but he wasn't here.

shuffling over to the other side, I grab my rectangular phone to text alex but in the corner of my eye, I spot his grey backpack meaning he hasn't left rather he's in the bathroom.

I put on a sweater since it's getting cold and some slippers and head downstairs to greet my parents a good morning. they're always awake before me and usually drinking coffee and watching TV with my younger siblings.

contrary to my belief, Alex was downstairs discussing something with my mom beside the dinner table, causing me confusion when I see my mom smiling and laughing.

"hi mom, morning alex" I disrupt their enthusiastic conversation. "what are you two talking about?" I ask, eager to know what's so funny

"oh we were just talking about Slovakia and the things I grew up with." she smiled widely, I hadn't seen my mom smile like that in forever "you're friend here is funny and smart, he's a keeper!"

"oh please you're not too bad yourself" Alex said in his husky morning voice.

"Hey Alex, want some breakfast?" I asked, pulling him away from the disturbing flirting going on between him and my mom.

"hey, why are you pulling me away?" he protested

"why are you flirting with my mother!" I asked in a whisper yell at the back of the kitchen.

"are you jealous?" he smirked

"no! I'm disgusted and repulsed!"

"aww fine I'll stop" he hooked on to my back, pulling me into a kiss

milliseconds before he kissed me, I heard someone coming towards the kitchen so I quickly pulled back causing Alex to frown.

it was my idiot brother

"hey david you're gay" he walked in and grabbed some strawberry milk from the fridge and walked off without making even slight eye contact.

"well I mean he's not wrong" Alex laughed in amusement.

-

Alex and I moved on to my room with bowls of cereal in our hands, laughing and smiling like nothing could go wrong ever. I hope that after this moment of euphoria, more would occur.

Unfortunately there's that lingering thought in my head, the one that's telling me that all of this is wrong, that me being with Alex like this is wrong and that I'm cheating on Liza and it's not too long until they completely take over.

we sit on my bed and Alex holds my bowl as I pull out my laptop to bring up something to watch.

I put on a random YouTube video I see on my recommended, something about a guy doing some challenge.

I'm not too focused on the video, nor my cereal so I place it on the floor beneath me cause Alex to get distracted and have his ga(y)ze avert to me.

"not hungry?" Alex says in a concerned tone.

"yeah I guess not." I reply in blue mood

"hey what's wrong?" he pauses the video and places the laptop along with his bowl on my bedside table. "you can tell me anything dude, I won't judge" Alex goes on to say

"it's nothing I just feel kinda weird about this whole thing since I still am technically dating Liza and it just feels like I'm cheating. It's just not right I guess." i confess

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