Sinful Delights & The Masters That Share

Chapter 23 •Duke's POV•

Chapter 23 Fighting Myself To Hold On To What's Still There
•Duke's POV•

I marched my way out of Dean's apartment with metaphorical steam rising from my overheated skin. Letting the door slam behind me so hard the walls rattled. As I strom down the stairs, out the back door headed toward my truck, and spitting gravel as I peel out the driveway.
By the time I reach the interstate my mind is consumed in both anger and confusion. Anger at the fact I failed to get Dean to see how wrong this decision is, or come back with me. Confused by how he can even think I pity him, or what he did for me that day by saving my life.
I could never pity him! Dean has become my brother, partner-in-crime, and one-third of my family. I owe him everything. Far more than what he believes drives this need for me make this dream into a reality for us.
Dean came into my life when I was thrown into a new place, knowing absolutely no one, and completely own my on again in my short life. He helped me come out of my shell, and gain self-confidence. He kept me happy and smiling all the time. Making sure I never even had time to dwell on the darkness from my past, or let it consume me anymore.
For that alone Dean earned my ever-lasting love and devotion. The first member of my chosen family I searched all my childhood for. I should have known it would never last though, because family is just something that was never in the cards for me.
I try desperately to stop my mind from traveling down that dark hole of disparre. Silencing my screaming thoughts as best I can, and concentrate on my surroundings. Not even sure how I've made it this many miles without even paying attention. Stopping just outside of Jacksonville to fill up with gas, and grab some much needed snacks.
When I get back on the interstate I can't bring myself to take the exit north toward New York. Instead my truck seems to have a mind of its own, and heads west across Florida panhandle. Crossing over the state line into Alabama about three hours later. Then finally driving through the last place I thought I would ever see around eight o'clock that night.
I pulled up outside of the only motel in the small town of Free State, and sat in the parking lot for several minutes debating on if I should get out of my truck or not. After going back and forth waring with myself I finally decide enough is enough, and get out of the truck. I pull my small duffle bag out of the back seat before walking inside the rundown lobby.
The bell over the front door goes off as I walk in causing the white-haired grandmother behind the counter to look up at me smiling. "Evenin' Sweetheart. What can I do for you tonight?"
I scan the womans face quickly for any signs of recognition, which isn't there, so I give her a small smile of my own. "I guess, I need a room please ma'am." I say stepping up to the counter, and fold my arms across the top.
"I guess I can help you out with that." The old lady gives me a wink before typing away at the ancient computer on her desk. "What brings you to our little city?"
If I only knew the reason myself! Instead of unloading my chaotic feelings on this poor, unsuspecting lady I keep my answer simple. "Just passing through ma'am."
"Well then, here ya go." She said placing a piece of paper, pen, and key on top of the counter, and looking up at me with a care-free, gentle, loving smile. "Just sign here, and this is your key to room three. If you need anything else my name is Martha, and don't hesitate to ask."
I signed my name at the bottom of the paper. Then took my wallet out of my back pocket tossing several bills down on the counter to cover the bill. Before grabbing the key, and looking back at Martha.
"Thanks. Keep the change." I wink back at Martha then turn around, and walk out of the lobby to my room.
My body is just going through the motions as I unlock the door to the motel room, toss my bag down to the floor on the other side of the doorframe, and fall straight down to my ass on the edge of the bed. Keeping myself in darkness while my dark thoughts run rampant through my brain. One question seems to be louder than the rest, so I focus on it.
Why the Fuck did I come back to this town?
When I left Free State at the age of ten I told myself then I would never come back here. It didn't matter if I was supposedly born here, or that the orphanage I lived in for the first part of my life is here. No one in this town loved or wanted me then. Why would that change now?
The earliest memories I have of this place are things of nightmares. Before I was even old enough to understand fully, I knew I was on my own with absolutely no one to count on but me. Now I feel like that same young boy. Not bothered to spare a second glance at, and abandoned by everyone.
I guess that's why I returned to the scene of the crime, so to say, after leaving Deans. My family abandoned me again, and I'm unraveling at the seams. Completely adrift without my main teether of support.
I close my eyes before scrubbing my hands roughly along my face, and falling back on the bed with a groan. "FFFFUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!" Comes out between my fingers. I let my arms flop back onto the bed as I blow out a breath. My eyes are glued to the ceiling while I desperately try to clear my head.
After several minutes of trying, but failing, I'm too exhausted to care anymore. I toe my shoes off letting them fall to the floor. Then roll up in the comforter on top of the bed until I'm facing the wall. Closing my eyes, and fighting to fall asleep.
I toss and turn all night. My mind never actually cutting off once for me to get an ounce of rest. Until I give up as the sky starts to lighten up outside my motel room window, and get up from the bed completely. Stripping my clothes off as I make my way into the bathroom. Only turning the hot water in the shower, and climbing under the surprisingly hard stream.
The scalding water helps ease my aching shoulder muscles, but doesn't do anything for my shitty mood. I stand there a few more minutes before using the complimentary bottles to wash up. Then turn the water off before grabbing a towel from the rack above the toilet, and drying off.
I step in front of the mirror, wiping away the steam, then giving myself a once over. The big, puffy, dark-colored bags under my eyes is a clear sign of how shitty my night was. The bloodshot eyes irises, and ashen color skin just adds to the overall effect. I shake my head in disgust before walking back into the main room.
I grab my bag up from the floor, tossing it on the bed, and pull out a change of clothes. The old, comfortable, thread bare pair of jeans and t-shirt like a representation of how I feel inside. Once I'm dressed I take my shaving bag into the bathroom to finish getting ready. Coming back out five minutes later to put everything back in my duffle bag before walking out the door.
It's a little after seven in the morning, the sun is completely above the horizon, when I walk outside. I drop my bag off at the truck before walking toward the motel lobby. Margret is still behind the counter, and gives me another blinding smile when I walk inside.
"Good Morning." I say placing the key on top of the counter, and try, but fail miserably to smile at the kind, old woman in return.
"Mornin' Sweetheart. Gettin' an early start to your Tuesday morning, aren't ya?" Margret ask standing up taking the key from the counter.
"Yes Ma'am. I need to get back on the road. I got a long day of driven ahead of me." I tell her trying to end the conversation, and turn around taking a step toward the door.
But Margret's next words stop me. "Don't forget to stop by the cafe across the street before you leave. They serve the best breakfast within a hundred miles! If you do wind up staying in town for another night, just come right on back. I'll make sure to hold your room for ya."
"Thank you Ma'am. That's awful nice of you. Have a nice day." I say touched by this strangers kindness.
"You too young man. Bye now!" Margret says waving, so I give her a salute back before turning around, and finally walking out the door.
I climb into the driver's side of my truck feeling bone tired all over my body. I start up the engine before slumping back in my seat, and closing my eyes. Only for them to snap back open a few moments later at the monstrous growl coming from my empty stomach. I let out a deep sigh as I put my seatbelt on. Then put my truck in reverse to back out of the motel parking lot.
The small mom and pop cafe is literally right across the street from the motel, so I don't have to drive very far. I park at the end of the building amongst the scattered old beat-up trucks in the parking lot. I don't bother locking my doors as I get out, and walk into the cafe. It's still to early for the criminals to be out in this podunk town.
As soon as I walk inside the cafe the regulars, sitting at a table kinda in the middle of the dining room, stop talking to stare at me. I give the group a welcoming smile, and silent wave in greeting before making my way to the opposite side of the cafe. Taking a seat in the last booth against the wall. Grabbing a menu to look it over as the locals resume their conversation.
"Good Morning. My name is Tori, and I will be your server this morning. Can I start you off with something to drink?" The owner of the melodic voice ask sneaking up on me while I was looking at the menu.
I place the menu on top of the wooden table as I look up at the woman. Only to get drop kicked straight in the gut, and the air to rush out of me. With the realization I know this woman, but from the look of confusion on her face she doesn't remember me. Go Figure!
"Sure. Can I hav.."
"Alexander?" Tori asks interrupting me.
The smile I've been fighting so hard to maintain drops from my face instantly. "I go by Duke now actually."
Tori's face seems to light up then. "Oh my God it is you! I haven't seen you in over twenty years! Long time no see."
I snort out a laugh at that. "It certainly has. SInce my tenth birthday matter of fact. How have you been Tori?"
"Still here as you can see, but what are you doing here is the better question?" Tori asks looking down at me with her hands on her hips, and a serious expression on her face. Reminding me so much of the many times she stood over me in the same pose telling me off when we were growing up.
I relax back against the hard booth seat crossing my arms over my chest, and looking Tori with the same serious look on my face as hers. Trying to figure out the best way for me to answer her loaded question. Another ability of Tori's when we were kids was the unnerving ability to know when I was hiding something from her, and I didn't want to test her skills now.
"Just driving through actually. I'm on my way back to New York from Florida."
"Really?" Tori asks in total disbelief.
"Yep. I made it in last night, and stayed the night at the motel across the street. I'll be on my way as soon as I get some breakfast." I feel sweat beads start to form on my top lip from her scrutiny.
"That's right, I forgot they opened up that new short cut half a day out of the way to New York through Alabama last year." Tori says full of sarcasm snapping her fingers. Then lets the awkward silence consume us for several moments. Before leaning down closer to me, and looking straight into my eyes. "Wanna stop the act, and tell me why you're really here?"
I can't hold it in any longer. I blow out a long breath, and throw my hands up in frustration. "I wish I knew the answer to that question Tori. Maybe I could have gotten some sleep last night if I did."
Tori stands back up, and slides the notepad and pen in her hand in the front pocket of her apron. Before giving me a single nod of her head, and turning her determined gaze back on me. "I guess that's why the universe sent you here to find me. I'll help you figure that out. Just give me another thirty minutes till I'm off, and we can figure it out together. Until then, how bout I get you some food? You still drink a glass of milk with your breakfast?"
I opened my mouth to refuse her offer, but stopped myself short smiling. Amazed someone remembers something so insignificant about me after all this time. "Yea, that sound nice."
"I'll be right back." Tori tells me with a small smile on her lips as she leaves to fix my drink.
She brings the cold glass back to my table, and sits it down in front of me within seconds. She jots my breakfast order down then leaves just as fast. Checking on the rest of the customers in the cafe before bringing my food to me, and finally leaving me in peace. While I'm eating I can't stop the flood of memories Tori and I shared to come racing back in vivid technicolor.
Tori was sent to the same orphanage as me at the age of three. She was a year younger than me, but had the eyes of an old soul that'd seen many unspeakable things when I first met her. The murky brown hair on her head was really thin, and full of knots. You could see her cheek bones poking out of her gaunt looking face, and every other bone on her little body.
She didn't say a single word the first year she was there, and avoided any form of physical contact from another person, but it wasn't long before the little Mexican jumping bean came out of her shell. Running through the busy halls of the old orphanage playing with the rest of us kids. As well as bossing us around with that hard stare of hers, and a single, deadly pointing finger.
It took me twice as long to fully accept Tori as a friend that wasn't going to leave me. Even after I started acting out toward the Nuns, and all the other kids started keeping their distance from me so they wouldn't get in trouble along with me, Tori stayed. That's how I found out about her little gift of see past the bullshit to the root of a person's problem.
She used that special Jedi mind trick on me the afternoon I got into serious trouble for the first time. I was in the small attic room the Nuns called 'The Time-Out Room' for hours. With just a small wooden stool to sit on, and a bucket in the corner in case I had to use the bathroom. When a small knock came at the door.
Tori walked in without a word, and gave me with that hard as steele look. I kept my calculating eyes on the waif of a girl wondering what she was doing in here. When she pulled out a hunk of break, and a brownie square wrapped in a paper towel from her pocket handing them to me. Then sat down and waited with me the entire time I was left in there.
From that day on our relationship changed. I watched over Tori, and became what I imagined a big brother would be like for her. She, in turn, became the only person never at the receiving end of my anger. While also making me talk about what was bothering me for once. Until the day the Nuns took me away on my tenth birthday.
I push my empty plate to the middle of the table once I finish with both my food, and the trip down memory lane. When I look back up Tori is marching toward my table with her coat slung over her arm, and her purse in her other hand. She tosses both items down in the seat across from me before sitting down, and sliding across the bench seat to the middle. I give her a quizzical look that she just shakes off.
"Don't give me that look! Now, are you ready to tell me what's bothering you so much it brought you back to Free State Alabama?" She asks crossing her arms over her chest, and relaxing in her seat.
I mimic her by crossing my arms, and then sliding down in my seat so we are at eye level. Giving her my best cocky smirk I learned from Dean. "Before we get to me and my problems. Why don't you tell me what's been going on with you since the last time I saw you?"
Tori rolls her eyes, and blows out a frustrating breath making her bangs fly up. "Not much to tell really. I stayed at the orphanage for another year before I was placed with a foster family here in town. Barely finished high school, and then made the worst decision of my life so far to marry my high school sweetheart. It took me five years before I realized Juan wasn't the man for me, and another year for our divorce to go through. Thankfully we didn't have any children together, but that doesn't mean Juan wasn't a daddy to three other women's baby though. It took me a few more years to get back on my feet, but I'm doing great now. I'd be even better if I was away from this nowhere town though."
At the mention of Juan's name a warning goes off inside my head. The name sounds familiar to me, and I rack my brain trying to put a face to the name. Until it finally clicks, and I look back at Tori in amazement.
"Please tell me you don't mean Juan Terri, right? The kid that was a year older than me, and already talking about the wonders of jacking off months before I left."
Tori closes her eyes and groans. "Of course you would remember him!" She says under her breath before opening her eyes, and looking directly at me. Giving me a shrug of her shoulders along with her signature death stare. "The one and the same."
I never liked Juan growing up. He was a spoilt douche back then that thought his shit didn't stink. Because his daddy was the current mayor, and his mom was the principal of the school. Terrible parents raising a terrible child.
"So, your names Ms. Tori Terri now?" I manage to get out before having to clear my throat to hide my laughter.
Tori snorted at me. "Ha. Ha. Laugh it up big boy! Like I haven't heard that one before."
I hold my hands out between us in surrender. "Alright, I'll stop, but seriously don't you feel bad for the three kids who have to call him their daddy?" I ask only to try and lighten the mood.
Tori just hums as she turns her gaze to something over my head deep in thought. "It's eleven kids now by six different women. But you're right, my heart does break for each and every one of them."
I'm shocked stupid with absolutely no idea what to say after that. Apparently neither does Tori as a comfortable silence engulfs us. I watch as a single tear drop fights to drop from the corner of her eye, and when it finally does I reach across the table to catch it. Except Tori wipes it away before I get there, and turns her focus back toward me waving me off.
"Where did you go the day the Nuns took you away Alexander? I begged them for months to tell me some way I could contact you, but they never did." Tori asks showing me all the hurt she still feels from me leaving her deep inside her chocolate brown eyes.
I move my hand back across the table to hold Tori's hand in a mind. Silently apologizing for my own childish actions that caused me to be taken away from her all those years ago. "The people at the orphanage and the school couldn't handle me anymore, so they shipped me off to my first group home of many. It's my fault alone I was forced to leave you Tori, and for that I'm truly sorry."
Tori is clearly stunned silent at my apology. Coming back to a moment later to squeeze my hand once before pulling them apart, and crossing her arms over her chest. Holding herself together, and closing herself off. "I'm ok now, I promise. So, what happened at the foster home, and how long did you manage to stay?"
I cross my arms, and chuckle remembering the hell I caused at that house. "Two weeks before they couldn't take me anymore, and sent me back."
For the next thirty minutes I regail Tori with all crazy stunts I pulled at all the different places they tried to leave me at. Until I finally leave to make it on my own. I tell her about all the odd jobs I picked up along the way. That helped me take care of myself, and travel to a bunch of different places along the way.
Lori looks down right shocked as I tell her about the gas station robbery, and the judge that changed my life. I stop the story there before I say anything about joining the service. Then sweep my gaze across the cafe noticing most of the regulars are looking straight at us. While obviously trying to eavesdrop on our conversation.
I slide out of the booth standing up, and reach in my back pocket for my wallet. Throwing more than enough money down on the table to cover the bill. Then look at Tori pleading with my eyes.
"C'mon. We can sit in my truck to finish this conversation, or I can take us somewhere else. That's up to you. This place is just a little too interested in us for my taste."
Tori begins to crack up in hysterics, but thankfully starts to grab her stuff. Before sliding to the end of her seat, and looking up at me. "Oh please! Like the whole town doesn't already know there's a strange man at the cafe, and I'm sitting at his table talking. You my friend, will be the talk of the town for weeks to come!"
"Ha. Ha." I say full of dry sarcasm as Tori stands up, and hands me her coat to hold open for her while she puts it on. Just like she would make me do for her when we were kids. Before twisting back around to face me smiling in glee.
"C'mon we can go to my house. No one will bother us there." I gesture for Tori to lead the way, and I follow a few steps behind. Right by the table full of gossip hungry old timers, and out the front door to my truck.
After we're both settled Tori gives me directions on where to go. She sends me north to the other side of town for about fifteen minutes. Then she tells me to turn down a hauntingly familiar gravel road, but thankfully we stop at the first house I see.
"I know it ain't much, but it's home sweet home." Tori says as I pull to a stop in front of an old log cabin.Amazingly it's an almost replica of the house I used to imagine calling my own when I was little. Come on through to the back porch. It's the best room of the house!"
Without sparing me another thought Tori jumps out of the truck, and letting the door swing closed behind her. It's nice to know she's still as demanding as ever! I get out of the truck to follow Tori inside her house, across the open living/kitchen area, through the half open wall of folding doors that make up the exterior wall, and into the covered, screened-in outdoor living room.
There are two big Lazy Boy recliners dominating the room. I take the furthest one away from the doorway, because Tori already beat me to the other one. She picks up one of the remotes off of the table beside her chair, and presses a button turning on some soft background music. Then toes her shoes off the floor before reclining back in her chair, and propping her feet up.
While Tori is relaxing, I let my gaze wander around the room. Then to the panoramic view of the dense woods lining the property's edge. All but a single spot just at the northern corner of the yard where the trees are thinned out, and almost barren. Framing a crumbling house that makes me come to a pause.
"Is that?" I ask Tori pointing at what I can't bring myself to name.
"The orphanage? Yep. The State came in about ten years ago, and shut the place down. It's been falling apart ever since" Tori's melancholy voice means she's obviously remembering some of the better times we shared in that house. Before turning her gaze back on me. "So, you gonna finish telling me where you've been this whole time? As you can see there's no one around here to hear us for miles."I tear my gaze from the dilapidated ruins after another moment. Then relax back into my chair, and pick up my story where I left off earlier.
"The Judge gave me a choice jail time, or I could join any branch of the services I wanted. I chose to join the service of course. There during my first week of bootcamp I met my best friend, and brother, Dean Masters."
I don't know what comes over me, but I sit there and tell Tori absolutely everything that I've been through since making that life changing decision. Things that I've kept locked away in the dark for a very long time. Everything they put us through during bootcamp, the OP's training next, then making one of the Special OPS teams, and details of every mission I ever went on with my teams.
I notice her bottom lip begins to quiver while I'm telling her about Dean's accident, and ultimately what I had to do after. I rush through the part about my retirement to join Drakes security firm, and exactly what type of job I've done since I started working there. But, as soon as I get to the part about Mel I get embarrassed.
I'm completely upfront and honest with tori about the relationship I have with Mel, and how that includes Dean as well. I tell her all about the progress Dean and I have made with her over the last few months, and finally how Dean fucked it up in spectacular fashion right at the end!
Tori is on the edge of her seat desperately wanting to stop me, and ask her own questions. Thankfully she holds herself back waiting until I'm finished. Lastly I tell her what happened at Dean's before I stormed out. Only to find myself driving here to the last place I ever thought I would be again yesterday.
I give her a nod once I'm finished to let her know she can start with her questions now. The first few are always the same when it comes to telling someone about my shared relationship, they go straight to sex. Which normally doesn't bother me, but I can't bring myself to look Tori in the eyes while I explain it to her.
But that was just the warm up round leading to her next set of questions. "Tell me again why Dean said he left New York?"
"He said he left because of me. He thinks I have unresolved issues I need to deal with about the accident, and everything that happened that day. Before I can fully handle the forever type of relationship I want for the three of us." I finish by throwing my hands up in the air not fully understanding what he means myself.
"Well that sounds a little vague. You sure he didn't say anything else?" Tori asks also using her Jedi trick to feel me out.
I keep my face blank, and lock my body in place to make absolutely sure I don't give anything away. "Nope." I wince on the inside knowing I answered her to quick.
Sure enough like a bloodhound catching a scent Tori leans closer toward me going in for the kill. "What else did Dean tell you Duke?"
I try to keep my frozen posture, but I can feel sweat began to form on the back of my neck. "I might have paraphrased some, but that's the gist of it."
Tori snorts in disbelief, and leans closer toward me. "Right. It's not like I can smell the hidden desperation coming off of you from over here."
"Nah, that's just your upper lip." I say the childish joke like a cocky prick.
"Last chance. You're sure you don't want to add anything?" She asks through clenched suppressing her rising anger at me.
I shake my head no. Tori's stoic face changes instantly to a full blown shit eating grin. As she relaxes back into the recliner. The cocky smirk on my face drops immediately.
"Ok then, have it your way. You remember how I used to be when I wanted something from you? Just know what's about to happen is your fault, and can make it stop at any time. You know what you have to do, though."
I look at Tori dumbfounded. The word why is on the tip of my tongue, but before I can even make a squeak she shuts me down.
"Tell me."
"No." I say sounding more like a question than a statement.
"Tell me!" Tori fires back right away.
"No!" I reply just as fast.
"Tell me." She sighs.
"No." I say with a little bit more bite giving her a calculating look. Until I realize what's going on, and my body fills with dread. When we were little if Tori wanted something from me she would either give me this pathetic wounded puppy face, or nagged me relentlessly until I caved each time. Which is exactly what she is about to do now.
Tori and I go back and forth in a verbal tennis match for an eternity, but is really only about twenty minutes. By then my patience is gone, my self control slips, and I snap. Sliding to the edge of my seat in the blink of an eye, and slapping my hands down on my thighs.
"Dean said I resent and pity him for what happened in Iraq. Damn you Tori! It doesn't matter though, because he's wrong." I say pissed off, and seeing red. Nostrils flared, steam rising from my burning body, and my eyes laser focused on Tori like a charging bull.
"What makes you think he's wrong?" She asks biting her bottom lip, so the satisfaction shining in her eyes can't take over the rest of her face.
The breath rushes from my lungs. My body and anger deflating right along with it. "Because it's not him I feel that way about, it's me. Plus a whole lot more. Neither of which is honorable, or good."
Tori gasps, and then nothing else for a minute. "Look at me." Then demands, but I shake my head no.
"Please Duke?" Tori asks using the sweet, begging voice that goes along with her puppy dog face.
Hearing that deceptively sweet voice after all these years almost makes me crack a smile, but I manage to keep a straight face. While also keeping my eyes moving everywhere around the room, and shaking my head no.
"Alexander Duken! Answer. Me. Now!" The fact she uses my full name tells me she's about done with me playing around.
I finally look back into Tori's brown eyes in trepidation. Tori extends her hands between us to take my hand, so I move my right hand off my leg meeting her half way. Then stop breathing as she starts to speak.
"Rewind back to that last statement you just made, and explain it some more. Right. Fucking. Now!"
My mouth snaps closed locking up tightly. I've never told anyone how I really feel after the accident. I used my charm and some mild flirtation to redirect the mandatory shrink I had to see whenever she would bring the subject up. Until she gave me the all clear, and I didn't need to worry about it anymore. I guess this means my time is up.
"It's all my fault Dean almost died." My words come out low almost a whisper, but gain strength after telling her my burden. "I was the one who turned the corner first. If I wouldn't have been running my mouth instead of doing my jobI would have seen the kid. I could have stopped him before it was even a chance for that gun to go off. Then Dean wouldn't have had to step in front of me! I could have slapped the gun from the kids hands before taking him down. I wouldn't have stolen a mothers son, and a child killer. I'm no better than the people we were supposed to be protecting them from!"
I pull my hand from Tori's balling both of them into fists on my knees, and turning my heart broken gaze on them. A few more moments of silence passed between us before I hear a squeak come from Tori. As if she's about to say something, but I'm not done yet.
"I resent the fact it was my own selfishness and lack of caring that almost got my best friend killed. I loathe myself for killing that little boy. There's no honor or righteousness in that. The two things I live my life by. Those feelings died inside me that day, and I've been fighting hard to get them back ever since."
"Oh Duke." Tori breaths out sadly while shaking her head at me. Before turning her blazing eyes back at me. "You know that's a crock of shit, right? You know as well as I do everything happens for its own strange reason, and no matter how much we desperately want to change it, we can't. We just have to accept it, let it go, and then learn something from it. Which obviously you haven't. Dean's right though, you need to deal with this, and finally forgive yourself. You won't be able to move on, and begin to love yourself again until you do."
Tori's words replay in my mind several times. A small barely noticeable voice in the back of my head knows she's right, but the vile, twisted thoughts saying she's wrong are so much louder. The confusion I'm feeling is clearly visible on my face, and thankfully Tori doesn't say anything else.
Instead she relaxes back into her recliner, propping her feet up, and turning on the tv. Only I can't tell a single thing that comes on I'm so lost in my thoughts. The comfortable silence between us remains for a couple more hours. Until Tori tells me she's going to fix us something for dinner. Then gets up from her chair walking right in front of me to the kitchen, but even that isn't enough to break me from the endless loop of chaotic thoughts inside my head.
About an hour later Tori comes back outside carrying two plates of good ole southern comfort food, and hands one to me before taking her seat. We eat in silence for the most part. Each time Tori tries to talk to me I don't answer, because I don't even hear her talking to me.
Before I finish eating Tori is up from her seat with an empty plate between clenched hands, and marches pass me back into the house. She comes walking back about ten minutes later carrying a pillow and folded blanket in her arms.
I give her a curious look as she places the items at my feet. Then Tori stands back up rocking back on her feet, and slipping her hands in her pockets.
"So, this has been fun, but unfortunately it's time for me to go to bed. 4AM comes around ridiculously early! You can sleep in the spare room on the foton. Oh, feel free to use the shower if you want. It won't bother me."
"Thank you." I tell her putting my plate down on the end table beside my chair.
"Well..Good night." Tori said giving me a small wave of her fingers before turning to leave.
Before she can take a single step I'm up from my chair wrapping her up in a tight bear hug. After a moment Tori wraps her arms around my waist returning the hug. After several minutes of her struggling to get out of my hold she starts laughing. I finally pull back placing my hands on her shoulders, and a blinding smile of my own.
"Thank you Tori, really. I needed to have this talk, and see you more than I knew. So, thank you."
"I'm glad I could help Duke. Anytime. Good night." Tori said softly embarrassed by my praise.
I place a kiss to the center of her forehead before taking a step back, and letting her go. "Good night."
Tori left without another word, and I sat back down to finish eating. When I get done I take my plate back into the kitchen to clean up. Then walk back to the patio to grab my bedding before finding the spare room.
I'm in and out of the shower in less than a minute, and barely manage to slide some boxer on before I'm falling face first into the bed. Only to toss and turn for the rest of the night. Unable to shut my brain off for even a second to actually rest.
At four o'clock on the dot Tori's alarm goes off, and the sound travels through the walls to me. I give up on trying to sleep, and get out of the bed. I pull on a clean pair of jeans and t-shirt from my bag. Then fold the cover up sitting it at the end of the foton with the pillow on top. As well as the rest of my things.
I open the bedroom door slowly looking for Tori. I hear the shower running, so I walk into the kitchen taking a notepad and pen from the fridge. I scribble a quick thanks again, along with my number and address in New York, and if she ever needs anything just call or find me in New York. I leave the note beside the coffee pot for Tori to find then walk out the front door.
It takes me about thirty minutes to make it to the interstate. Driving like the hounds of Hell are behind me. Eating up the miles as I go. My thoughts might be a chaotic mess right now, but after talking with Tori I feel like some of the stress has been lifted from me.
And now there's only one person I'm desperate to see!
When I finally pull up outside of the loft I can barely keep my eyes open. I give new meaning to the phrase Walking Dead as I take my bag from the backseat of my truck, and walk up the stairs to my front door.
As soon as I walk through the door I drop my bag on the floor, and swing the door shut behind me. Clothes litter the ground behind me as I walk into my bedroom, across the room to the bathroom, and into the shower. Before coming back out moments later, and crashing out on top of my bed in nothing but a towel.
Hours later my body jolts awake. My crazed, wide-eyed stare frantically looks at the clock on my bedside table noticing it's only noon. Thankfully someone's looking out from me by making sure I don't oversleep!
So, I rush to get dressed, and out the door in under five minutes. Taking the steps two at a time until I'm out the building, and in my truck. Making the twenty minute drive across town without a problem.
I park my truck in an overpriced parking garage down the street from Mel's building. Then push my way through the crowded streets of people to the front doors. Only to get stopped just inside the door by the receptionist telling me Mel's out to lunch.
I mumble a thanks to the middle aged woman before walking back outside, and taking a seat on the steps leading to the building. I pull my phone from my pocket checking the time as I search the passing faces for the one I want.
One minute, five, ten, fifteen. Finally my body senses Mel's coming before I even see her, and reacts. My eyes scan over the passing crowd frantically until they land on a brilliant ray of sunshine.
Mel is walking toward the steps of the building with a blinding smile on her face. The same goofy smile is on my face as I get up, and walk down the steps meeting Mel half way.
I watch her eyes search the faces around me making the smile on my face freeze instantly. When she doesn't find Dean the smile is completely gone from her face when she looks back at me. Breaking my already fragile heart into even more pieces.
But, the worst part is, it's all my fault!


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I know it's late, but I hope y'all like it!
Also, today is my birthday! 🥳 so y'all are celebrating with me!
Vote, comment and let me know what y'all think!
Until next time my loves!
Callie

Text Copyright  ©Callie Sumner ™ 2019