the one on the roof

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Changbin sighed in exasperation once they'd climbed the stairs back to his room.

"It went better than I expected," Felix whispered. Changbin raised an eyebrow, signaling the younger boy to continue. "Well, I thought Chaseul was gonna try to fight me again, but all he did was make fun of me for being gay, so all in all I'd call it a win."

Changbin laughed and covered his mouth trying to be quiet. They could still hear Haeji berating Chaseul downstairs. "Lix," Changbin mumbled as he held Felix's hand, "I'm proud of you. You didn't get upset with him, you weren't mean to yourself, and you kissed me in front of my homophobic brother."

"I'm sorry."

Changbin looked up and shook his head. "No, no, don't apologise. It was... kinda hot."

Felix's face flushed red as he looked into Changbin's eyes. "Really?" Changbin nodded and stood up, still holding Felix's hand. He let go only to search through his closet. The Australian quietly asked, "Where are we going?" He got no answer, so he could only stand in confusion and watch Changbin wandering around his room looking for something.

He found a large, fluffy blanket and turned back to Felix smiling.

"Really? Pokémon?"

Changbin nodded. "Follow me," he demanded. Slowly, he undid the latch on his window lock and slid the glass pane upward, letting the cool wind flow into his room. Without a second thought, he swung one leg over the windowsill until he found someplace solid to stand. Felix watched as Changbin disappeared into the night, the Pokémon blanket trailing behind him. Hesitantly, Felix approached the window and lowered himself to where Changbin was waiting on the roof.

It was a familiar place, but one they hadn't been in years. When they were young, they'd spend hours and hours sitting on the flat part of Changbin's roof, yelling at neighbours as they walked by and throwing water balloons at their siblings. It had been years since they'd last been out here together.

"You don't have to sit so far away, Lix," Changbin said, cutting through the silence. Blushing, Felix walked closer and sat down right next to Changbin, almost landing on him. They laughed together and huddled close under the blanket to avoid the cold. They sat and stared at the sky, stealing glances at each other every so often.

After a while, Felix yawned and leaned his head on Changbin's chest, holding him close and listening to his heartbeat.


"What's up, Binnie?"

Changbin considered his words carefully, but chickened out at the last second. Instead of saying what was on his mind, he asked a question. "When did you figure out you're gay?"

"When I was seven," Felix immediately answered.

"Damn, you were young," the older boy laughed. "What made you realise it?"


Changbin smiled and ran his fingers through Felix's hair. "Hey, Binnie," Felix cooed, "You're adorable. Also, I felt your heartbeat speed up when I said that, and honestly it's the cutest thing I've seen in my entire life."

"Hey," Changbin chuckled, cheeks bright red, "That's unfair, you can't make fun of me."

Felix pouted. "Aww, is my Binnie all blushy and nervous? Cute, cute, cute." He poked Changbin's cheek and beamed at him. "How about you, what made you realise you're not straight?"

"Hmm..." He hesitated. "I don't have some cute story of self-discovery like Jisung or some childhood love interest like you. I just realised one day that I thought girls were cool and that I had liked girls, but I also thought everyone else was cool and I had liked people who weren't girls as well. I tried not to be scared of it, and I told myself that if I like someone, then I like them, and there's nothing wrong with it."

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