Fade - Chapter 12

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Ciel sits in his room, seated on the window-cil. The pounding rain shatters against the glass, reflecting the resentful tears that stream down the child's pale face. He sings softly to himself.

'Child of mine

rest in my arms

'till the dawn

wakes the shadows

that play on the lawn

Close your eyes

and say goodnight

sleep 'fore the morn

don't dream of the darkness

don't dream of the storm.'

It is a hymn his Mother used to sing. It is a remnant of a dream of when he once held sunlight in his arms; a wistful smile upon his gleaming face. The tune is sad now, an old, worn-out melody... a song that the old birds used to sing in the meadow in which now holds the fallen petals of dead flowers.

The rain drips down the window in a cascade of beautiful sorrow, a melancholic moment passing as he wipes his own tears. Ciel is caught in a fleeting fantasy. He wants to be outside that window, with the falling raindrops. He wants to soak up all of their sadness so that he, too can feel the way the sky feels when the grey clouds cover it's sun.

'With a wish upon your shoulder

with my loving embrace

my gentle caress

sleep befalls ye young lad of mine

let your tired young mind fall into rest.'

The boy rests his head onto the window pane. And he sobs finally, letting go of the last word he sings. All he wants in this moment is for Sebastian to see him as he his... for himself to see Sebastian the way Sebastian is.

He does not hear the door open as Sebastian steps inside, gliding over to meet the half-blood, who's face is clouded with the storm clouds of misery. He hears Ciel's sobbing as he reaches out to the boy, gently placing a hand upon the boy.

"You have a lovely voice, Ciel."

The boy does not start as he hears his name being softly uttered, keeping his eyes cast out into the rain that is not pooling in the courtyard, creating eerie reflections of the sky's sunset.

"Listen."

Ciel nods his head, curling up further into himself.

"I am deeply sorry. This is more complicated than anything you have ever known. I acknowledge that. I've been bending the rules for you since the start. You are my longest contract yet, and now will be my only for eternity. Ciel, you must know that I truly love you as well, and that I would never intentionally hurt you."

Ciel's sobs stop as he speaks, turning his head to look at him.

"Sebastian... you're acting strange."

He whimpers.

"No, Ciel. I am simply dropping the act. Nothing would happen if I stopped doing so, especially when your will to see me as I am is so strong."

Ciel grips his lover's shoulder tightly.

"What do you mean, Sebastian? How did you know exactly what I meant?"

"If you truly wish, I will treat you truly as an equal."

"Sebastian... do you really mean what you say?"

He whispers, his voice shaking slightly as his lip trembles slightly, as if the wracking wind outside is shaking his very being.

"I do."

"Then, please... don't lie to me when you say you love me, just because I want you to."

He whispers, wrapping himself into the arms of the man, burying his face into his shoulder.

"I love you, Sebastian."

Sebastian pulls away from Ciel, holding his delicate face in his hands. Ciel grips onto his wrists, looking into his crimson eyes with his own, his watery eyes reflecting exactly what he feels inside; the lake of emotion and anticipation threatening to boil over. Sebastian's promise states that he may no longer act in the way that makes Ciel feel so cold.

"I mean that as deeply as the moon and starts kiss the sky at night."

He leans up and presses his lips onto Ciel's as the boy wraps his arms around his neck tighter than the binding that holds the material world together. Ciel feels as if his stomach holds an entire field of butterflies within it's walls as he kisses him deeper, letting Sebastian gather Ciel into his arms... the former earl's legs wrapping around his waist.

He feels the soft firmness of his bed on his back, and lets himself fall onto the blood red satin. His bicolored eyes flutter through a misty haze, focusing on the one now kneeling above him.

"Sebastian."

"Yes?"

"Mean it when you kiss me."

He does.

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