Her Legacy

XX. Daddy

"Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you." John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

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Chapter XX – Daddy

"Sara!" Mom said emotionally, as she tried to close the gap between us.

But I jumped up. "No, I need some time to think," I sniffed, before running for the front door and grabbing my purse as I did.

I heard voices behind me, but I focused on trying to find my keys. I cried, and could barely see through my tears, as I fished through my bag to find them. But I couldn't find them amongst the junk that I hoarded.

I cried in frustration as a wave of sobs hit me. I honestly didn't know what I was feeling. All I knew was that I was feeling. It was overwhelming and overstimulating, and I just wanted to cry and scream, and throw things.

Shea's arms were around me then. Their sturdiness was comforting, and I tried to control my breathing as I leaned into him. I tried to match my breaths with his, which I found nearly impossible. I sobbed and hiccoughed and let out these uncontrollable wails as every pathetic emotion escaped out of me.

"My dad is dead," I whispered, after standing in my driveway with Shea for I don't know how long.

I honestly didn't think I'd ever said those words out loud. And I had certainly never felt them. Before today, my dad was honestly no more to me than a sperm donor. I knew nothing about the man. He had died and I didn't remember him. Mom hadn't let me remember anything about him.

But I suddenly felt like I had lost him today. A father who loved me, who wanted me, and proudly showed me off to all his friends. A father who loved my mother, and he would only ever love her. Would I have called him Dad or Daddy? Mom called him my daddy, and that freaking hurt my gut.

"Did you know?" I asked Shea, already knowing the answer.

I felt him nod. "Not the whole story, but the gist, yeah," he confirmed quietly. "You couldn't hear that from me, though, Sara," he added softly. "That had to come from your mom."

I knew he was right, but it didn't change how I felt. I didn't want to ask, but I knew that I needed to know. "Do you know how it happened? How he died?"

"The conflict your mom was talking about, with the Alpha named Kurt?" he reminded me. "His name was Kurt Hale. His scouts attacked a member of our pack. They might have been drunk, or just plain stupid, but it started an all-out war. It was violent, my dad told me, and messy, and plain dangerous. He told me your dad wanted to settle things, just him and Kurt. They were alone, and they killed each other."

I flinched at his words, and Shea's grip on me tightened.

"It didn't end there. It hasn't ended. Kurt's son, well, you've met him."

Lex, I realised.

"That is why he is so dangerous. He's out for blood. Cold-blooded revenge. Lex knows who you are, and I'm afraid he's ... that's why I wanted to keep you away from it all. I thought if you were completely oblivious, and Lex could see that, then he would keep taking his fury out of me, and not you."

My father and Lex's father killed each other. It just didn't seem like a real thing that could happen. Like a goddamn duel that happened in the Old West where everybody just watched on the street. That was not justice. That wasn't okay. They couldn't be a law unto themselves. Deaths went unanswered for. Deaths happened unnecessarily.

My dad was dead, and he didn't have to be.

"Why would your pack let that happen?" I asked Shea, my voice still uncontrollably emotional from crying. "That's just barbaric. It's still barbaric. Where is the law in this?"