You're the only one I want (Delirious x Vanoss)

I'm nothing but a screw up (chapter 1)

Delirious ' s POV

I was getting ready to get on my laptop and get on gmod. I was looking forward to playing with Vanoss. In all honestly he is the only reason why I decided to play tonight.

As I opened up my server, I received a group Skype call from Vanoss, Wildcat, Basically, and Lui. I picked up,

"Hey guys!"

"Hey Delirious!" They all called back in response.

"Ya'll ready to play!?" I shouted into the mic. There was a loud screech causing me to throw my headset on the ground. As I rubbed my ear, I heard Marcel and Tyler shouting. I picked up my head set and quietly put it on.

"Fuckin' Delirious! " Tyler shouted, "We didn't even start the damn game and he already screwed our ears up!"

"Delirious are you there!? Hurry up and open the damn server!" Marcel said angrily. I stayed quiet and did what Marcel said.

When everything was back to 'normal' I suppose, we started a gmod scare map. One of my favorites. As we continued on with the game thwre was a part where we were in the sewers. We were doing perfectly fine until, I accidently pressed a button killing all of us.

"Ahhhhhhh! ! God damn it Delirious!" Marcel shouted, " What the fuck did you do this time!!??"

"I'm sorry! I didn't know it was going to kill us all." I defended myself. Until Tyler said, "You know Delirious, maybe games would be better if we didn't have you in them." I felt tears coming out of my eyes, Evan (Vanoss) remained quiet. I don't blame him, if you screwed up a lot like I did then I'm sure no one wanted to be your friend nor stick up for you. Forcing back the tears I decided to just call it a day

I yawned and said, "You know I think I'm gonna head to bed then. I'll talk to you guys later."

"Yeah whatever." Tyler exited the game along with Marcel.

"Bye Delirious!" Lui called in his squeaker voice.

"Bye buddy." Evan was the last to say his goodbyes. I ended the call and went into the bathroom and went to the mirror.

"Nothing but a screw up." I looked at myself. I took off my shirt and looked at the rest of the image shown in the mirror. Scars all over my arms and torso, I felt shame but at the same time. If I didn't do this then I wouldn't be here.

My hand went towards the drawer and I took out a razor. As I put the razor on my chest, Evan's face popped up in my head, tears slowly started to go down my face.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I whispered to myself as I slid the razor across my torso.

1. For being a screw up.

2. For being weak.

3. For being a complete waste of space.

4. For still being here.

I continued to point out my flaws and soon I looked at my chest. It was bleeding heavily, but I just washed the razor and cleaned my wounds. I dressed them (put bandages on them) and throw my blue hoodie, and some basketball ball shorts on then went to bed.

"Damn today was a long day." I laid there waiting for myself to fall asleep. Soon my eyes closed and everything on my room was no longer there.