18th July 2019 All Rights Reserved
Sitting on the plane with the girls on either side of me sleeping with the hum of the engine the only noise with the lights down low should have been enough to send me into a sleep like it did with the girls. We still have several hours to go before reaching home again.
Home. I thought home would have been in Australia with Jarrod and our girls. Not after finding out that he was unfaithful and got another woman pregnant while I was in America seeing family on one of my brief visits back there.
I have tried so hard to keep it together for the girls sake. But it is very hard. It has been practically impossible with Jarrod trying to make it up to me.
But how can he? He is having another baby with someone else. I would never have known until she walked into my little store and told me. Effing bitch. I thought she was lying until Jarrod came in a few minutes later and nearly fainted when he saw her standing there talking to me.
I knew that something had been bothering him lately. But I was hoping that he would come to me and let me help him sort out whatever it was. That was what wives, and husbands, do with their marriage mates. They help them.
In this case, Jarrod has helped himself to another woman's body.
It was the one thing I told him that would kill our relationship. If he betrayed me, we were done. There was no second chance after that. The thought of him coming any where near me makes me sick to my stomach. I try not to think about it because I nearly throw up.
I actually did when he brushed up against me when he came home to get some more of his things. I couldn't help it. With my hand over my mouth, I ran for the bathroom down the hall.
I could have hit him when he showed me some concern when that happened. I just looked at him in disgust.
He couldn't even use the excuse that he was drunk. Not that you can use that. If you are that drunk you can't control yourself, you are too drunk to get it up. It is as simple as that. There was no excuse except he was stupid.
" That too isn't an excuse. That's a decision. You stuffed up." I glared at him when I told him that. I was not going to let him see my tears. He doesn't deserve them. But it was hard. Very hard.
I was also not going to be like one of those women who stay with they adulterous husbands just for the sake of the children. I have no idea if he has done this before. He did it once, he will do it again.
It would not have taken any time at all before the kids would have suffered if I stayed with him. And my girls would have. They would have instantly known I was mad at their daddy. They would see it. And, they would feel it. So, I was going to do whatever I could to make this as easy as possible for them. It is all about them now.
My main concern with the girls was that there might be trouble with their mumma and daddy. But that was not in any way to mean there was trouble with them. We loved them both and that is never an issue.
Sadly though, it was at his parents house that they learned there was going to be another baby that daddy was having with someone else. They also learned that their mummy was very hurt and sad about it because daddy was not supposed to be having a baby with anyone else. Just me.
So, here I am trying to keep the kids out of it and the family is talking about it without a care in the world not realizing how this will affect the girls. I had to speak to them about it. But the damage was done. The girls heard everything.
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