Chapter One

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Chapter One

"I can't believe I'm dead," a woman sobbed. I took in her short dress and beach blonde hair, looks like this one died young.

When you die, your soul morphs into the state you were before your body stopped working. So, for example, if a person is blown to bits the soul is the form of what they looked like before they died- clothes and all. And, if you died with no clothes on your soul takes the form of you with no clothes on. Yeah, it's not pleasant.

You come to Hades the same age as you were when you died, but if you go to the 'good part' of this waste land you morph back into a teenager. If you were younger than thirteen when you died you take on the form that you would have looked like- so the slaves don't have to take care of SIDS victims.

You don't wanna know what happens to the others.

"NEXT!" some scary skeleton dude shouted. The guy behind me started crying.

"I killed a bug!" he wailed. "I'm going to Hell!"

"You're already in Hell, stupid." I laughed, rolling my eyes.

"How can you laugh? You're dead!"

"And I might as well enjoy the ride."

"NEXT!" weirdo skeleton dude called impatiently. Blondie walked nervously up to the temple thingy, her ten inch heels clicking against the hard stone.

I tugged uselessly on my bra. Yep, you got it right; I died in my underpants and bra. The dude behind me followed the movement and I shuddered.


I heard Blondie scream as a black cloud whisked her off to the 'bad part' of Hell. Wonder what sins she committed...


Shit, that's me. Oh well, can't get any worse than this... right? I walked up to the temple thingy and I fought to keep the grin off my face. Have these people ever heard of modern architecture? Honestly, columns are so ten billion years ago.

"Agape Marie Thorn?" a voice called mockingly. I bit my lip. The voice repeated my name, as if waiting for a confirmation.

"Uh, duh," I sighed after it called my name a third time. "Can you please stop with the whole 'my voice is so powerful that it booms around the temple thingy?' it's seriously annoying."

"How dare you order around the great Lord of the Dead?!" the voice boomed.

"How dare you act like a douche in front of a lady, such as me?!" I shouted back, trying not to laugh.

"Shut up, ignorant mortal, do you want to be damned?" a slave whispered harshly to me.

"Why is your skin green?" I asked curiously. It looked at me like I was a mental person.

"How is that relevant right now?"

"I was just curious... are you related to The Hulk?"

"What?! No!" the creature screeched and ran off.

"What did I do?" I wondered.

"ENOUGH!" the voice cried. A boy, no older than seventeen, walked gracefully down the steps. Damn... that boy is h-o-t...

"Enough of what? My infamous charms or you shouting into a microphone?"

Okay, you're probably wondering why the hell I'm smart talking the 'Lord of the Dead'. I did a lot of bad things back on Earth... I stole, I killed- you get the picture. So it's obvious that I'm going to the 'bad part' of Hades. And, while I was in my coffin, I simply decided to annoy the shit out of Hades, or the 'Lord of the Dead', or whatever his name is.

I'm The Devil's New 'Pet', But I Like To Think Of Myself As His Personal Torturer- By TwixWhere stories live. Discover now