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My alarm went off at 6:30, long before the girls would be awake. I grabbed my phone and snuck out of the room. I walked around the hotel in just my pajamas and robe. I thought about Prince William, Hayes. I had made my way to the window that over looked the courtyard that him and I walked last night. You could see our many footprints that created laps around the courtyard in the snow.
"Hello." I heard soft voice behind me. I turned to see an older women in the hotels uniform.
"Hi." I smiled softly at her.
"Are you doing okay?" I nodded.
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you." She smiled softly at me. The rest of the hotel was still asleep but I seemed to be wide awake.
"Want to know a secret?" She leaned in close, I nodded my head. "I heard Prince William was walking that courtyard last night." I tired to smiled.
"Really?" I looked back out at the snow.
"Really, and with a girl none the less."
"Wow." I whispered. My stomach rumbled. I had forgotten I skipped dinner last night and only had a small bag of those candies. I looked back at the lady. I knew she was still there because I could smell her floral perfume. "Is the dinning hall open for breakfast yet?"
"Almost, it opens at 7." I nodded. I clicked the lock button on my phone to illuminate the screen. It was 6:52. I sighed to myself. I just stared out at the courtyard, at the Christmas lights. If I had my boots and it wasn't so cold I'd go out. Maybe I do just dare to go out anyways. I opened the door and the cold, crisp air immediately hit my face. It took no time chilling me. I never let go of the door behind me. I stopped just before the snow started on the concrete walk way. My arms and legs were cover in goosebumps and I started to shiver; only a minute or two in the cold and I needed to come back in. Sometimes about the cold made me feel again. Maybe it was like how the rain washed everything away. Or maybe I'm just too much of a daydreamer. After coming back in I wondered the lobby. The had many painting hanging in the wall. Some were of war scenes, some of war hero's, some I didn't understand.

Finally 7 came around and I got myself a cup of coffee. I decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. Even though no one seemed to be awake in this hotel, I wanted to be alone. The stairs just seemed to be the right place. I wasn't in a rush, I just lazily made my way up the three flights. I unlocked the door. The room was still dark, no one was awake yet. It was almost 7:30. I shook Michelle a little. She moaned and groaned.
"Michelle, did you want to shower?" I whispered.
"Do you want to shower?" I repeated a bit louder.
"Oh, yeah." She wasn't whispering but she was still half asleep so she wasn't talking very loud.
"It's almost 7:30."
"Okay." She pulled the covers back and got up. I grabbed my book and went back out into the hall. It was lit, the room wasn't. I kept reading.

At 8 I put my ear on the door and listened. I could hear Savannah's loud alarm. It shut off. I knew she'd be getting up and one of them could wake Vanessa. I kept reading my book. I was on book two of three and almost done with it. Reading was one of my favorite things. I could get lost in books forever if you let me. My dad sometimes did. My favorite kind of books were an older style. I loved Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, Jane Austen and Edgar Allen Poe. Sure their styles ranged slightly but they were older, more of a mature style of writing but I loved their work. This doesn't mean that I haven't extended my branches out to John Green, Meg Cabot or Sarah Dessen, Because I have. They are good too, they just aren't my favorite. If I did have to pick a favorite of those three though, I'd say John Green. His writing almost reminds me off Shakespeare in a 21st century kind of way. The door opened.
"Hey." It was Michelle. Her hair was still wet, I could feel the droplets hit my arm. They felt like little ice cubes that melted immediately once hitting my harm. I looked up at her. "Coming in?" I nodded and stood up. It was perfect timing too because I had just finished my book. I changed into a pair of yoga pants, an old shirt and a sweatshirt around my waist. I just felt like it flattered my heart right now.

We made our way down stairs and to the dinning hall. We didn't meet in the lobby this morning. Vanessa made her way to the coffee machine like she did yesterday. I followed loosely behind.
"You okay?" Vanessa asked softly. I nodded a little.
"Just tired."
"I saw you finished another book." I nodded again.
"Was it good?"
"That was the 6th time I've read it."
"Still deciding then?" She joked. I smiled.
"Maybe." I looked at the spread of food. There were pancakes, waffles, cereal, muffins, eggs, bacon and a lot of other stuff. I got myself a small plate of scrambled eggs. Surprisingly I wasn't in the mood for them but nothing else looked appetizing. I sat down across from Savannah. I was the second one of our core group to sit down. Picking at the eggs and eating a piece here and there; I tired to shake the feeling from last night. My heart was abnormally heavy. I wish I could say I missed my mom but I had never met her, but in a moment like this I wish I had. I feel like she'd know exactly what to say. Michelle and Vanessa sat down. I still just picked at my breakfast. The four of us were dead silent.
"Listen, I just want to say I'm sorry about last night." Savannah finally spoke.
"I don't want to talk about it." I looked at her. "Please."
"Autumn, we love you." Vanessa pushed.
"I know." I changed my gaze to meet hers. "I just," I sighed and rolled my eyes at myself.
"Ouch, rough patch for the fantastic four." Hannah leaned over. Her voice was smug, it made me feel like I was listening to nails on a chalkboard. I gritted my teeth. The last person I wanted on my case right now was Hannah Lavender.
"She just met a very handsome someone." Michelle bragged.
"Oh really?" Hannah sneered. "Who?"
"No one." I snapped looking strongly at her. I loosened up a little and looked at Michelle. "I'm sorry." I said softly. I pushed my plate of food away. Ryan wondered around the table. I pushed my chair back and walked up to him. "Can I have to studio keys?" I said just loud enough for him to hear. He looked at me with wide eyes. "I just need some alone time." I tried to assure him. Ryan dug around in his pocket before he pulled out the little gold key. He handed it over without another word. I grabbed my sweatshirt from the back of my chair and left.

The music was loud, it filled the studio. I liked to do my own secret choreographing, and just dance away. Maybe it was horrible and maybe it was weird but it was mine and mine alone. I knew that and I loved that. Sometimes just having things of your own creation was all you needed, or maybe that was just me.
"You've always been such a beautiful dancer." I stopped dead in my tracts and looked at Pam. She stood in the doorway with a soft smile.
"I should know you have a key too." She nodded.
"You okay?" I shrugged my shoulders but nodded a little. "We've been trying to reach you." I bit my lip as my eyes stared to fill with tears. "That doesn't look like okay to me." I plopped down on to the floor. More tears started to pour. Pam came and sat down next to me. "Oh sweetie." She pulled me into a hug. I started to sniffle. I loved Jenny, she helped raised me but Pam mothered me in ways Jenny just couldn't understand. I wiped the tears away.
"Can I ask your advice?" I pulled back a little.
"Of course, Autumn." She rested her hand on my knee.
"I feel so lost." Pam's eyes were soft. "I love California and I love my job and my friends." I rattled on.
"But, being here makes me realize how much of the world I've been missing out on."
"The world or your heart?" I looked at her. "I over heard Vanessa and Savannah talking about you meeting someone." I scoffed and rolled my eyes.
"Not just someone, Prince William of Baltaver." Pams eyes widened.
"Wow." She whispered. I nodded in agreement. "You could be a Princess." I laughed weakly.
"I don't belong in that kind of world. He is supposed to be with royalty, not some girl from the United States." I wiped more tears from my face.
"I don't think you get to decide things like that, he does." I shook my head softly. I looked down at my hands in my lap.
"We're just friends." I laughed at myself. "I wouldn't even call us friends."
"Is he excited about seeing you tonight?" I licked my lips slowly avoiding eye contact. "He doesn't know, does he?" I shook my head and gnawed my lower lip. "Autumn, I can't be your mother, nor do I want to, but I can give you motherly advice." I looked up at her. "You have got to stop getting in your own way. Don't listen to others or mind what they say, listen to your heart. Listen to yourself, because you are so important and there is only one you." I nodded. "You're mother would be so proud of you." I smiled softly.
"I don't know that." I didn't, but I sure hope she would be.
"I do." She drew in a deep breath. "I never told you this, but your mother and I were friends in high school."
"You were?" She smiled at me.
"Mm. You look just like her." I giggled through the tears. "You have a heart just like hers and the passion that matches." It was nice to hear someone other than my dad and Jenny talk about my mom. "She talked about having a daughter before she even meet your father." I laughed a little. "She said if she ever had a daughter she'd name her Ilya, which stood for I love you always." My heart caught in my throat.
"Really?" Pam nodded.
"Really." Her voice was soft. It almost sounded like a hug, a mother's hug. "Now come on." She rubbed my left softly. "We have a performance to get for. Prince William should not see you crying." I sniffled and wiped away my tears.
"Okay." Pam stood up and helped my to my feet.
"She was a good dancer like you too."
"That's what my dad says." Pam smiled. I unplugged my phone from the stereo and grabbed my sweatshirt. I turned the lights out. Part of me wished I could stay a little bit longer.

I made my way up to my hotel room. I decided to take the stairs again. The door was propped open, I was glad because I had forgotten to grab my key this morning. It was nearly noon, we had to be on stage at 6 sharp. I quietly opened the door and snuck in. The tv was on and it was the news. I was surprised Michelle got to pick what they watched.
"I miss her." Savannah sounded concerned.
"Me too. I hope she's okay." Vanessa answered.
"I feel like she deserves the world and she doesn't understand that." My heart hurt. These girls loved me and I loved them. I sometimes loved them so much I forgot about myself. Being with Prince Hayes made me remember myself and I liked that.
"You know, she always takes care of us but we never take care of her. We should be the ones taking care of her right now, not Pam."
"But we don't know where she is." Vanessa complained. I smiled to myself, knowing they cared was enough. I grabbed the door handle and pulled it open. I let the door slam shut behind me. They all sprang to their feet. They created a half circle at the opening of the room. None of us said a word. My eyes started to fill with tears again. They rushed over to me and gave me a hug. Something about this hug squeezed me tight enough to rebuild the dam that had broken in my water ducts. I sniffed.
"I love you guys." My voice was muffled by one of the girls shoulders.
"We love you too." I could hear the tears in Savannah's voice. I drew in a deep breath.
"Okay, no more news. We have a show to do." They all peeled back a little.
"You sure you're okay?" I nodded.
"I will be." Michelle smiled softly at me.

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