chapter 1: mozzarella cheese

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"oi giorno gimme a back massage." fat ass polpo said. "birch no." precious child giorno said. giorno hated pole po so he turned his gun into banana. "mmm yummy banana." pp said and died.

then single soccer mom bruno bucciarati saw little girono. "omg a little child i love you already i want to hold you in my boob window while we go to the restaurant." mama bruno said. "ok :3" giorno said and rode in brunos titty tatooes.

in the resturant:
"oi narancia ur fucking stupid." fugl said. "omg fugo chan if mommy bruno bucciarati hears u said the f word and the s word you're gonna get no snaccs!!" narancia said. "just do ur goddamn math homework u liberal and i wont have to stab you with this 4 pronged fork." fugo threatened. "HMMMm m 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔." mista hmmm'd because fugo said the number four. "bruh moment." abbacchio said. "ok finish ur math problem while i get cake." fug said and 8 cake. "ok so clearly 6x5 = 30 so that means that if i use my collectively shared half a brain cell with midta then the 16 x 55 = 28. yes yes holy shit i did it im so smart take that fugo im so fucking smart." narancia thought as he did the math problem. "ok fugo im done owo." narancia owoed. fugo glared at it with that face with the dramatic shading on it that says im not taking ur bullshit and he said, "nani the fUCK IS THIS PieCE of TrASh U dUmB fuCK hOW THE uddER FUCK DID U gEt 28 FROM 16 times 55??????/?????? bitch ur SO STUpID THAT im GONNA cum my thong." fugo said and stabbed narancia with th3 4 pronged fork. "bruh moment aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." narancia cried. "BRO sHUT THE FUCK UP MY CHILDNREN UR SO FUCGKING LOUD NO SNACKS FOR ALL OF YUO." momy bruno said disiplining his beautiful italian children dressed as prostitutes. "mmmmmm bucciarati fugo stabbed me and said the f word and called me dumb and the s word and yelled at me mmmmmm sob sob." narancia cried hugging his momy. then giorno entered. "ok guys this is the new member his name is digiorno and he's delivery. "hi im giorno giovanna and i love you owo." giorno said owoidly. "i love u too." bruno said to his child. "fuck off gorno." abacio said and pissed in the tea cup. "omg total bruh moment coming up" mistaa said. "brb guys gotta go get ur CBD oil and put it in ur dinner!!!!!1!1!" bruno bucciarati said and left. "have a seat giorno." abachio said. "ok bro we're goonna be bffs owowoowwow." giorno owo'd. "stop being gsy and dringk ur gofdda,nm fucking tea i poured you." acuckio said. giorno stared daggers into the tea cup and at abbacchio and at everyone else. they were all trying to hold in their laughter then giirno drankk the pp. "mmm yummy piss mmm abbachio ur piss tastes like cum." giorno said. "what the actual fuck." abbacchio said. bruno heard abbacchio say fuck and he came in the room. "ABACHIOS NO SAYING THE F WORD OR IM VACCINATING YOU." single anti vax soccer mom bruno bucciarati said calmly. "mom im 20 fucking years old shut thr fuck up." he said. "NO baCK TALKING OR iM TAgkING AWAY UR blACK EMO LIPstIcK pRiVELAgeS FOR 2 WEEEKSSSSS!!,!!!!1!" bruno threatened. "omg no mom anything but my emo black lipstick from italian mafia branded hot topic!!! its a necessity and i need it!!!!1" tabbacchio said rolling a joint in the italian olive garden resurant in italy. "U CAN LIVE WITOUT UR BLACK LIPSTICK LEONE ABBACCHIO U DONT NEED IT!!" brony said. "MOM ITS MORE OF A NECESSITY THAN SCRAPING OFF MY DICK CHEESE EEVRY MORNING!!!!!!!!!1!11!1!1!!!!!!" abbachio argued. "thaTS IT U GET A TIME OUT FOR SAYING InnAPROPRIATE THINGS INFRONT OF OUR NEW MEMBER HE IS 5 YEARS OLD NOW GET IN THE CORNER." bruno yelled at his oldest son. "im 15." giorno child said. "FINE mOM I'LL geT IN THE CORNER BTICH." abacio said smoking weed in the corner with his back turned and thicc ass out.

dururururuurru. "omg guys i have a phone call brb." mommy bruno said.

"ok guys momy bruno left so that means i can say fuck now right." abacchio said. "no shut the fuck up."  fugo said. "omg fugo said the f word im telling mom!!" narancia said. "bro bucciarati san is on the phone." mosta said. "no one cares bro stfu let me tell on fugo fo rbeing retarrd." narancia said. "nani a retarrd??" fugo axed questionably and angry at natancha for being stupid. "boi ok im gonna strangle u if u dont stfu ur 17 for fucks sake and you act like a 6 year old virgin who plays fortnite." fugu said. "no u." narantichia said. "ok do u want me to stab u with this frok?????" fugo a sked. "do it pussy." narancia said. then fugo stabbed naranchia in the ass cheek with a 4 pronged fork. "aaaaaaaas fuck you fugo." narancia said. "omg u said the f word im telling mom!!!." fugo said. "ur so misbehaved im honestly disappoitned." abbacchio said in the corner smoking weed. "bitch ur in the time out for 20 minutes shut the fugk up." narancia cried cuz his ass hurts. "fuck u fugo now i cant sit cuz theres a fork in my right ass cheek." narancia said. "u deserve it u dumb fuck also that's ur left." fugo said. "ok guys im back oh my god u are so misbehaved i hate you all." bruno bucciarati said. "mommy fugo stabbed my butt with a fork." naranchia cried. "narancia said the f word." fugo said. bruno anime gasped and put the other 2 in time out in the corners of their room that abbacchio is not in. "ok may we have a civilized discussion of italian politics???" bruno bucciarati antivax mom asked his fellow children. "what's a politic??" giorno asked. "giorno sweety, you dissappint me already and here u thought you were the smartest one but clearly fugo is the smartesst now smh 😔😔😩." bruno said disappointedly. ":3 ." giorno said. "stop doing that face or im gonna turn u into a zipper and piss inside yuo." bruno mom asked. "oo kinky." giorno said.

"ok guys there's one reason i took that phone call and it was to get away from all of you i hate you all just kidding i hope i mentally scarred you with those words because i love you all with all of my heart. anyways polpo commited sucide." single mom said. "nani?!" everyone except giorno said. "*surprised pikachu face* no way omg." giorno said totally not suspicious in any way possible. "that guy is so goddamm fat that he comit sewer side to stop being fat." narancia said in the croner. "no talking ur in the corner!!!!!!!!" bruno yelled at narancia. narancia turned around and stuck his tongue out at bruno. "👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅." narancia said. "👁👄👁." bruno said. "ok i gotta go help some old ppl now bye bye my children for the 3rd time!!" bruno said and left. there was silence for a whole minute and it was really awkward. "so giorno... you watch hentai right?" mista asked. "who doesn't lmao."giorno responded. "ok ok good good ok so you know hoe vacuum is spelt right?" mista asked. "yes its v-a-c-u-u-m." giorno said. "ok so if u take away the 'va' in vacuum u get 'cuum'." mista said. "what are you saying?! where are you getting at?!" giorno asked sweating profusely because this was going to be a shocking revelation. "ok so what if people in hentais instead of saying 'onii-chan im gonna, im gonna cum!!' they say 'i'm gonna cuum'." mista said spilling the beans. "oh my god." giorno said he was truly shocked he even put his hand over his mouth. "bro. that shit's crazy." giorno said. "yes it is bro." mista said. "u guys should make a hentai and record it." narancia suggested. mista and giorno both looked at each other intensily and started drawing hentai in narancia's notebook.

"ok guys im back." bruno said. "what did i miss?" mist and gronino stared at bucciarati and just stared and stopped drawing hentai. "you two look really suspicious what are you doing?" bruno momy said ready to put 2 more children in the corner. "nothing." they both said in unison like conjoined twins. "just bro bonding time." giorno said. then bruno disappeared and reappeared behind them in the zipper. "y'all made a fatal mistake. oh ho, i see you weren't just bro bonding, but drawing inappropriate non christian drawings!!!! omg mamma mia giorno mamma mia mista im putting u in the corner!!!!" bruno yelled angrinly. "but there's 2 of us and one corner left. there's only 4 corners." giorno said. "ok im sorry my child, the 4th child i adopted ur going in the 4th corner." bruno said to mista. "are u trying to kill me?" he asked. "yes." bruno said. "che cosa?!" he said and fucked off to the last corner. "giorno im letting you off the hook because you are a new member but i will not tolerate such behavior from a 5 year old like you. you need to mature for your age and learn to draw things that are not inappropriate things for lonely grown ups to stroke their dicks to and not swear in this christian minecraft resturaunt!!" bruno said. "do u understand?!" he said again. "yes momy i understand i wont do anything like that every again." giorno said and internally winked because he was totally gonna finish that hentai someday.

"ok guys we gotta go to caprison where i hid the treasure cuz im gonna be the new capo!!!" bruno said. every one said yay. "but before we go we have to wait 17 minutes because i put mista in time out and we have to wait until time is up." bruno said.

to be coninued
<---------------- (insert horny song here)

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