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I gulp audibly as he state deep down in my eyes. As I stand there awkwardly I went through the events happening recently and my heart almost churn when I realised that these days I didn't cry myself to sleep.

"Are you crying?" I heard him mumble above me as his hand reach to my cheek holding my face up and then his eyes wander around my face but I was hoping that the tears will mix well with the shower droplets.

I guess not.

"Don't "

I sobbed. Finally.

I shake my head and lowering down his hand by a gentle push.

"Don't pretend that it's all okay?" I murmur as I wipe away my cheeks with back of my hand and turn the shower off.

"Okay? Okay with what?" He asked back and I try to ignore his hands which lands on my shoulder to make me look toward him.

"Us" I move a hand between us pointing at him then at me.

"What's the problem with us?" The way he said it make it look like the most lamest question ever.

" 'what's the problem with us' ? Seriously Randhir? " my jaw dropped to the floor.

"What's even not-a-problem with us? Everything is a problem " I shake away my shoulder from his hold but he grid my arms this time and pull me towards him. Not sensually. He looks angry and confused.

"I don't understand? " he said searching in my eyes. " what's wrong? " he added.

I almost want to laugh. A real hearty laugh.

Is he even listening to himself right now?

"What's wrong? What's wrong? Really? You wanna know what's wrong? This" I pointed towards us again "this is wrong "

He look between us. Damn he still not getting it.

I roll my eyes once before looking back into his eyes.

"We are not supposed to be here. You weren't supposed to come back? For God's sake I thought you are dead. This was not supposed to happen? Ever? You were not supposed to come back to us. You weren't supposed to come here every night. You weren't supposed to pretend that we are a happy perfect family. Because we are not. We are far from that. You were supposed to arrest me. You were supposed to take me babies away. But you are not fucking supposed to give me these false hopes of perfect family.
Hell, I was supposed to throw you out of the house when you show up. I wasn't supposed to let you see the kids. I wasn't supposed to be sleeping in the same bed with you. I wasn't supposed to be kissing you back yesterday. And God forgive me, I was fucking not at all supposed to be seducing you here in the shower. Did you hear me, this not not perfect small happy family like you are pretending it to be because. ....."

And then he bloody dare to interrupt me by pulling me straight into him and claiming my lips.

I struggled hard to wiggle out of his arms. This is not happening. I need to complete. I pinched his arm. Hard. When he let go I glare up hard at him

"And you weren't supposed to shut me up like that every ...." without letting me complete he claimed my lips again this time but not gently as before. And this time he held my both hands behind my back in his strong grip.

I feel his lips move frantically against mine as he hold my face with one hand for a better grip. I suddenly lost all my breath so I wiggled my hands hard in his grip. I let out a sound in protest but it came out more like a moan. Damn it. I'm so bad at this.

At the moment I feel the last bit of air leaving my lungs I bit his lip hard.

He suddenly let go and breath hard as he look down to calm his breath.

Okay so I wasn't alone who was out of breath.

"I won't tell you it's going to be perfect"

He said. Still panting as he bring his forehead closer to mine. I just look up at him waiting for him to say more.

"I will show you"

With that he plant a gentle peck on my forehead and pat my lower lip with his thumb before he make his way out of the bathroom. And i was left here alone panting hard and still trying to process what the hell I have gotten myself now.






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