Chapter 1: My Adulterous Past

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Chapter 1:My Adulterous Past

I cheated on my husband, Jonathan, before I met him—physically and emotionally

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I cheated on my husband, Jonathan, before I met him—physically and emotionally. Fifty-two times to be exact. From my very first boyfriend in Kindergarten, to the one I was waiting to get back with until the day I met Jonathan, I had given my heart to many guys. And guess what? In the end, I only married one of them.

Despite all the memories shared, efforts spent, and tears shed, fifty-two of my relationships did not last beyond three months. I broke up with them, they broke up with me, and now I have memories I shouldn't have with not one, but several guys.

I loved at least four males before my husband. Scratch that. I was seriously infatuated with four guys before my husband. And the aftermath of each relationship were wounds, scars, and baggage.

At eighteen, I had my last heartbreak, and that one finally broke me. On February 21st, 2009, I realized God did not want me with my ex—and he realized it, too. We agreed to part ways, and my heart was utterly crushed. You see, though I had been sexually active with previous exes, I had never gotten so close to losing my virginity with any of them except he-who-shall-not-be-named. Thank God He kept intervening, and after the third failed attempt, I looked up at the ceiling and literally said aloud, "I don't think You want me to do this."

But it was still too late. Since my ex and I had been so open with family issues, other past hurts and secrets, I made my heart emotionally vulnerable to him. But the vulnerability only intensified the more sexually intimate we became.

I needed healing—badly. After my ex walked away from my porch, midnight, now officially February 22nd, 2009, I cried out to God. I begged Him to speak to me. I quickly opened the pinkPrecious Moments Bible I had received when I was eight—but hardly touched—to any page, and this is what I read:

May the LORD answer you in the day of trouble; May the name of the God of Jacob defend you; May He send you help from the sanctuary, And strengthen you out of Zion; May He remember all your offerings, And accept your burnt sacrifice. Selah May He grant you according to your heart's desire, And fulfill all your purpose. We will rejoice in your salvation, And in the name of our God we will set up our banners! May the LORD fulfill all your petitions. Now I know that the LORD saves His anointed; He will answer him from His holy heaven With the saving strength of His right hand. Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the LORD our God. They have bowed down and fallen; But we have risen and stand upright. Save, LORD! May the King answer us when we call. (Psalms 20:1-9 NKJV)

In the midst of my brokenness, a spark of hope ignited, and in six days I was healed. My crying was replaced with inexpressible joy—such joy my mom thought I'd lost my mind a bit. But not anymore, because she also knows Jesus now.

As God would have it, I met Jonathan in person on March 4th, 2009—not even two weeks after saying goodbye to my ex. My sister had been telling me about this "sweet, gorgeous, religious boy" in her college acting class who she believed God wanted me to meet. But I didn't care to jump into another relationship. I was single and finally content—more than content. But my sister insisted, and me and Jonathan's first outing was to a church service. We liked each other immediately, and after receiving our Heavenly Father, and my earthly father's approval, on September 10th, 2010, we said, "I do."

I wish Jonathan was the only man I ever kissed, the only man I ever gave my heart to. Apart from Christ, He alone earned it. But, I learned from my mistakes and now I can teach you how not to cheat on your future spouse.

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