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Warning: prepare to cry I guess lol

No no no no no no no no no I cannot be pregnant. Not in a million years, not now and not anytime soon. "Hola Isabella, todavía estás ahí?" I heard Juliana, "No estoy embarazada.." I told her, "Entonces nunca tuviste sexo con Zabdiel?" She asked. I sighed and I hugged my knees, "Si ha tenido sexo con Zabdiel, pero estoy tomando la pastilla porque a veces tengo periodos irregulares." I admitted, "Ya sabia." I heard Erick mutter, "Deja de tomar la pastilla." She said and I nearly laughed, "La pastilla no funciona todo el tiempo, Isabella. Créeme, yo estaba en eso y luego me quedé embarazada." She said, "No quiero decirle a Zabdiel que creo que estoy embarazada. Todavía estoy enojada y decepcionada y no quiero hacerme ilusionar." I said. "No puedes comprar una prueba de embarazo?" She asked, "Como si Zabdiel está conmigo todo el tiempo cuando estoy fuera. Nunca salgo sola y si lo intento, sus hombres le informarán y él lo averiguará." I said.

I heard Juliana sigh, she didn't know what to tell me. "La razón por la que le decimos que deje de tomar la pastilla es porque, si está embarazada, puede causar que el bebé tenga defectos. Cuando usted y Zabdiel vengan a Cuba, pueden hacerse una prueba de embarazo aquí mientras me voy con Zabdiel a algún lugar para que pueda estar seguro." He said, "Gracias por tu ayuda pero tengo miedo.." i said, "Todos se asustan cuando están embarazadas." She said but it wasn't exactly that, after with what just happened outside I don't know if Zabdiel is hiding more things from me. I don't know if he'll be a good father, i don't even know if I'll be a good mother. I didn't have a very good motherly figure when I was growing up. My mother. My chest aches knowing they're gone. Even though she and my dad were shitty parents they still gave me life, I will forever be grateful for that. I don't know if my body can handle carrying a fetus since my pelvis is weak.

"Tienes que hablar con Zabdiel también. El esta muy triste.." Erick said. "Triste de que?" I asked sarcastically, "él sabe que rompió tu corazón" Juliana said, i looked at the ceiling of the bathroom and I sighed. "Zabdiel nos dijo que finalmente dijiste que lo amabas. Estaba tan feliz y si lo amas, entonces deberías hablar con él sobre lo que pasó." Juliana said, "Pero no quiso decirme al principio." I argued. I loved Zabdiel but I can't let him off that easy.

"Estaba enojado pero ahora está tranquilo. por favor habla con el no quiero que sea incomodo en la fiesta." She said and I groaned, "Okay okay, me dejaré calmar y luego hablaré con él." I said and she sighed of relief. I hung up and Pumpkin came to me and she layed her head on my stomach. I scratched behind her ear and I huffed. Should I talk to Zabdiel about what happened? Or should I keep ignoring him?

It's best to talk to him.

I didn't know if it was my heart or my brain telling me this. I needed to bake something to help calm me down but I didn't want to leave the room. I wanted to hug him and talk to him about what happened and understand why he did it but another part of me wants him to suffer and feel the same way I do. I walked to the room and I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked so dead.

I wiped the remaining tears I had and I grabbed the house phone in my hand, Pumpkin followed me as I opened the door carefully and I silently made my way downstairs. Zabdiel had his head down on the dining table, he had a glass of whiskey with him.

"Juro, no lo vi. Si fallé, me arrepentí de rodillas ante ti.." i heard him sing lowly. I cleared my throat and his head immediately shot up. "Isabella.." He sighed, his accented voice seemed tired. I turned my back to him to put the house phone back on the stand and I made my way to him. I sat across from him and I leaned my head down as well. "I'm sorry.." he finally spoke up. "About what?" I asked, "For..for killing those people, well..for sending people to kill them." He said lowly. I saw the glass cup and I debated if I should drink it. I grabbed the glass and I sat up to examine it, I felt sadness but anger was subsiding instead.

I swear I think I'm getting all these bad qualities from Zabdiel. "Why did you do it?" I asked not looking up at him. I saw the ice move when I swirled the cup. "I feel like it was best to remove the people that hurt you in the past. I was upset and angry when I read that file and I saw what they did to you. They damaged you emotionally, and physically." He said and I glared at him. "They were not in my life anymore, I forgot about them. They didn't deserve to die." I said, "You fell into severe depression after your first boyfriend broke your heart." He said, "I was a teenager, everyone falls into depression at that age." I replied. "That man that ran you over ruined you, you lost the passion you once had for tennis-" "But I found another passion, Zabdiel. Baking is now my passion, and I love it. You always look at the negative and never in the positive." I interrupted with a raised voice, "What positive was there in him running you over?! He left you paralyzed from the waist down for a year. Isabella for a year! You can't play nor teach tennis ever again!" He raised his voice.

"Stop trying to seek justice for something in the past that has been already dealt with, he got life behind bars and a lot of guilt that was enough!" I raised my voice an octave higher. "You don't see it. Isabella. He ruined your life! You can't walk for too long you can't run, you can't play tennis or any other sport. You can't do a lot of things because of that fucker. How is it good that he did that to you!" He raised his voice even higher, i threw the glass of whisky behind him and I stood up. "If it wasn't for him running me over, I wouldn't have opened my bakery and we would have never met!" I yelled, his eyes widened. That was something he never noticed before, he's an idiot.

My vision blurred and I began to cry again, "Maybe I didn't deserve to get into that accident. Maybe your right. If you really want to look at the negative then fine, here it is. I'm stuck here with a psychotic drug lord that wrapped me right around his tattooed finger to then break my heart with killing people I personally knew whether they were good or bad. I don't deserve that. I'm trapped and I can't run away no matter how hard I try because I am broken and I don't want to leave anymore. I'm casted under your fucking spell and you just toy with me, you give me love and attention and in exchange I open my fucking legs for you, without thinking who else you have been with when you're gone and I'm stuck here. I can't leave this place without your permission so I go insane since I'm all alone but you don't care and you leave me for hours. Maybe I'm on the verge of having an panic attack because I just found out that-" before I could finish my rant I covered my mouth and I ran to the sink and I threw up again.

"Isabella are you okay?" Zabdiel asked concerned as he rushed his way to me in pain, his gunshot wound still hurt like a bitch. He held my hair in a makeshift ponytail and he rubbed my back. "Don't touch me." I mumbled and my vision went black.

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