38. Back To You

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"Tears are words the heart can't say

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"Tears are words the heart can't say."


I found Cayden waiting for me on the spot where I landed the night I jumped from the school's roof. The spot he found me, lifeless and soaked in my own blood. The tragic night that left the third bullet on his heart.

Dressed in blue jeans and a gray hoodie with his same old jean jacket on, he was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest while his face was tipped to the glowing sun resting on the horizon. For a moment, he looked like a little boy fascinated by the beauty of the world, too oblivious about the cruel side of it.

Something irked within me just by the sight of him. After everything that had happened, I wanted to hug him so bad.

"Hey," I said, my voice coming as breathlessly hoarse even though I had only half-walked, half-jogged all the way here.

I didn't have good stamina, and on top of everything, I felt heavier. My jeans were tighter. The shitty consequence of all the Oreos and licorice I had speed-eaten the last five days. Bree kept telling me I was addicted, but I couldn't admit that to her or myself. It would hurt my lover of black sweets pride too much.

Because of the hood on his head, Cayden's face was caressed by a shadow but when his gaze shifted to me, a sparkle enlightened in them. His voice was gentle. "Hey."

He looked like he had fought a war with something lurking inside of him, leaving him completely and utterly exhausted.

After I sat down in front of him on my knees, Cayden's eyes searched my face and he frowned. "Have you been crying?"

I blinked. I had wiped my tears on the way. Plus, I didn't even cry that much. But how did he always notice?

"Oh, uh, no. I mean, I just-"

"Maya, were you crying because of me?" He asked, pools of sudden fear filling his eyes.

"No, no. That's not why...," I sighed and told him about Mia.

Cayden's eyes widened. "Shit. That's-"

"-It's horrible, but I'm kind of happy at the same time. Not because of what she went through of course, but because now I have someone who understands what I went through with John. I was so happy and sad that I started crying. I know it sounds weird but-"

"-Maya, hey. Breathe," he cut me off, gripping my shoulders. "Just breathe."

Breathless, I stared at him in silence. His touch made my heart pound in my chest and I cocked my head slightly to the side while staring straight into his eyes.
Suddenly, my eyes were on his lips and the feel of them against mine made my heart go wild.

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