- ELEVEN -
Moving has been hard for me, harder than it should be. I love having Will and Jonathan as my brothers and Joyce is an amazing mom but still...I'm so far away from my home and the rest of my friends.
So far away from Mike.
I laid in my bed, looking at the time on my clock, 2:07 am. It's hard for me to stay awake, I'm just so exhausted. I've been exhausted since that day. The battle of starcourt.
Everything was okay, Mike stayed with me in the ambulance, comforting me and helping me feel better. I thought we might've even got back together then, I kissed his cheek and he smiled so wide. I felt myself melt when I saw that beautiful smile, I felt okay for the first time.
That was until Joyce came back. I watched as Will ran to her, hugging her tight. I was so happy she was okay, I was happy that Will could finally feel relief.
And then it hit me, Hop wasn't with her. I was in disbelief. I walked over to her, that's when she confirmed he was gone. My dad. He took me in when I had nothing. He saved me from the cruel world and treated me as his own. He made me feel loved, happy. No matter how mad or upset he got with me, he always loved me. Hopper was an amazing father, and an even better person.
But now, he's just gone. I still have trouble processing. I hope I'll see him again, even if it's not soon. I need to see him. Life is so lonely without him. There's no heavy knocks on my door to wake me up in the morning, no eggo extravaganza. There's no Friday traditions, no laughter and corny dad jokes to fill the room.
I miss him so much. The hole in my heart grows bigger and colder every day, it hurts so bad. It hurts.
Why him? Why did he have to die? He didn't deserve it!
I can't believe it, I still can't. It hurts too much. I suddenly realized the tears that had been streaming down my face. How long have I been crying? Doesn't matter, there's barely a time when I'm not crying.
It gets worse though, I can't stop. I've been crying so much that my breaths are getting caught in my throat and I'm choking on my own sadness. I cant breathe. I can't- I can't stop.
I grabbed the phone from my bedside table and dialed Mike's number in as fast as I could.
I looked at the time 1:37am, I don't want to wake him up.
I sniffled, putting the phone down.
It wasn't long after that I got a call back though,
" El, is everything okay? " Mike spoke, sounding tired but concerned.
I sniffled and tried my best to form a sentence, " I-It hurts..."
" What? What hurts? "
" " e-everything.." I answered
" Just breathe, please " Mike sounded worried, I could hear his voice cracking. I nodded to myself, willing myself to breathe.
" I don't like darkness..." I said finally.
Mike took a few seconds to respond, " me either " he said quietly.
" Mike, I need you " I said finally
" El, I promise you, I'm coming as soon as I can. I need you too, so much more than you know. " he answered, and it all clicked in my head.
No matter how broken I am, how sad, distant or even mean I can be he needs me. Mike Wheeler needs me. And that's the best feeling in the world.
" I don't wanna be here if you're not with me. " I said, sniffling.
" I know, it sucks, but I promise you everything will be okay. I'll make sure of it. I love you El "
" I love you too Mike, you make the darkness feel okay. "
Hey guys, so I know this sucks and it's super short but I miss you all so much! I'm so sorry I haven't been posting, I've been super busy and I haven't had time to write. I also haven't been feeling very motivated and it sucks because I love this book so much so I hope for now this can help to make it up to you guys! I'll be posting as frequently as I can 💜