020; real life

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Awsten has been thinking about Emily.

He's been thinking about how she still goes out of her way to make new social media accounts to try to message him on despite the fact that he always blocks her.  He's been thinking about the fact that she still posts about him, that fans always screenshot those posts and send it to him or post it and tag him just to be certain he sees it.  He wonders if they know how much it hurts him.

He thinks about Emily a lot lately and it hurts to think about her.  It hurts to go through the memories as he forces himself to deal with it all instead of pushing it down like he did before.  It hurts but admitting that it hurts feels like progress.  He's not hiding from it in the ways he used to.

He thinks about Emily a lot lately, but he thinks about Thea more.  He thinks about how Emily won't hold him back anymore.  He's moving forward.  There's still a lot to work through but he's ready to be in a new relationship as soon as Thea is ready.  This time, he's not lying to himself when he says that.  This time, he means it.

Despite all the pain of the past that still haunts him, Awsten is ready to move forward, and he's about to find out he's not the only one ready to move forward as there's a knock on his door.

He heads over to see who it is and open the door.

"Hey," Thea greets, "sorry for not texting or anything first, I just...got caught up in the moment I guess."

"That's okay," Awsten assures her as he lets her in, "you're always more than welcome to drop by."

"Thanks," Thea replies with a small smile before clearing her throat nervously.   "I just wanted to...I trust you.  I'm not saying I'm not scared anymore 'cause I'm always gonna be scared of taking chances like this but I do trust you, and I want to be with you if you still wanna be with me."

"Of course I still wanna be with you.  I could never stop wanting that," he tells her, hesitantly taking a few steps towards her.  She moves closer to him too.  "But you gotta be sure, okay?  We can wait if you have any doubts.  I wanna be with you but I don't wanna rush it.  So, are you sure about this?"

"Completely," she answers quietly, giving a small nod.  Awsten nods and pauses for a moment before speaking again.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks quietly, almost moving to close the last of the distance but forcing himself to wait.

"Please," Thea says softly, "yes, please do."

They close the distance between them, both closing the last of the small bit of distance between them and allowing their lips to meet in a long-awaited kiss.  Awsten smiles into the kiss as he loops his arms around her waist to pull her as close to him as possible.  Thea returns the gesture with a hand on the back of his neck and leaning up into the kiss as much as she can.  They pull away when they need to breathe, though they keep their holds on each other.  Thea moves her other hand up to where her other one is so that they meet at the back of his neck.  He hugs her as close as he can and she rests her head on his chest, hearing the beating of his heart.

"Your heart is beating really fast," Thea comments, moving back a little too look up at him.  He laughs quietly, pulling her back to him.

"Yeah," he mumbles, "kissing the most amazing person on the planet kinda makes my heart race.  It's a real' nice feeling; I'd really like to do it again if that's okay with you."

"More than okay," she responds before leaning up and pressing her lips to his.

After this kiss, they stay quiet for a moment, standing there wrapped up in each other's arms.  Awsten is the first to speak when they finally pull away from each other.

"Just to, y' know, clarify, this means we're dating now, right?  Like I can call you my girlfriend and no one can make fun of me for having a crush on you 'cause you really are my girlfriend?" Awsten is only half joking, unsure of how else to ask to make this official.

"You can call me your girlfriend if I can call you my boyfriend," Thea counters playfully, giving a little smile.

"Sounds perfect," he replies with a grin, "as long as I get to kiss you a lot.  I like kissing you."

"That's great 'cause I like kissing you too."


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