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It's mid afternoon and here I'm  doing dishes in my kitchen. I mentally calculated how much time I have before I need to start getting ready for the work at restaurant.

A holiday from school is such a bliss.

But again, a mother can never be on a holiday.

I should have really told the twins to finish their homework first before they accompany the old couple in shopping.

But again, they deserve a holiday from homework too.

I really need to sort out my routine again because I really feel I'm not giving enough time to my twins recently. 

The entire day with them as their teacher in school don't count as giving time, does it?

We need some more babies mommy time together.

And yeah I should....

"What the f..""

I jumped when two palms slammed down on either side of me on the counter.

The plate in my hand fall back to the sink and I just hope it didn't break the glasses in there.

Damn I didn't even realise the door bring open. Was I so engrossed in my thoughts. Well... he is also good in his sneaky skills I'm not the one to blame fully.

"So. Have to told them? " I heard him mumble behind me as he tug lightly at my messy bun and my hairs fall down on my shoulder. And for the first time I'm glad because at least they are shielding me from his gaze.

"You said I had time till tonight?"

I said and get back to my work. I feel him getting far from me as I  lost the warmth.

"If you wanted to, you would have by now." He muttered and I heard his footsteps.

"I will tell them myself now." I heard him before he barge into the twins room. A few moments after I saw him coming back out and look at me.

"Where are they?" He inquired.

"Shopping. With the old couple downstairs. " I answered as I wipe off my hands with the towel. 

"Why are you not telling them?" He asked stepping closer to where I am. He made it sound like the most easy thing in the world.

I didn't said anything. I just look at him eye to eye. No hesitation.

He took one more step closer as his intense glare burn my face. He place his palms back to the counter, on either side of me. Again.

"Why?"

I think now it's time I should answer his why.

"Do you really think it's that easy."

I took a pause for the impact Or maybe i was giving myself time to not getting effect by his closeness.

"What should I tell them? Huh? That you are their dad? Easy, right? Have you ever think about what this will do to their mind. They will bombard their questions at me and I will probably not have any answers for them. "

I took another pause and I saw his eyebrow furrow in confusion.

"What if they asked why I never told them before ever? What if they asked why I never said anything when we saw you on TV or newspaper?  What if they asked me why I didn't say anything when got teased by their class about their dad not being with them?  What if they asked me why we were separate at first place? Am I supposed to tell them our history? From the beginning?  They will love to hear that their mother is a runaway prisoner, right? And the fact their father a super detective and their mother a -used-to-be gangster will totally make them happy, no? I don't even know what you gonna do to me afterward. Are you going to arrest me first or going to take away my babies first? The continous fear that now you have found me now police will be in my door soon, this fear sit deep in my heart every moment. What will happen to my babies if they missed me afterwards. Will they hate me if they came to know the truth.? What if my babies asked why they don't have your surname? Even asked why I don't have your surname? For God's sake we never even married each other, what they will think about it? And you rally think it's that easy. You never even fucking proposed m............"

I was stopped abruptly as his lips came down crashing in mine. I didn't even realise I was crying until he run his thumbs artists my cheeks still kissing me. No doubt he caught me off guard because right now I was literally leaning back as he hovers over me. My back would touch the counter if I lean back a little more.

He moves his soft plump lips across mine as I was struggling to get back on my knees. When he didn't get the response he wanted his hands went to back of my head and with a gentle tug he pulled my hairs back as his lips make love to mine.  I stop myself from moaning at how good it feels. Holy shit I missed this. It was hard for me to not respond back but his inviting kisses are making it so difficult.  I can't almost cry at how hard it want to kiss him back.

After few moment he broke off the kiss and held my chin up to him.

"I will see you tonight"

With that he turn around and left.

And I was left here gasping for oxygen.

What. The. Fuck. I. Just. Did. ?



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