Not Again |[D.S]| 2

10.

Maddie's POV

Laying down on the dock with Daniel was not what I expected. Even kissing him was unexpected. I thought about it. It wasn't what I planned but at least we're both being honest with each other.

"Maddie, Maddie Maddie." I hear him mutter and I smile.

"You can say my name?"

"Yeah, it was difficult at first but it's gotten better." He says looking up at the sky as we both dangle our legs off the end of the dock.

"Daniel, I know this might seem weird but your fans. The freak out a lot about these type of things. I'm not that person who cares if people catch it. It's rude to hide something. Even though I don't even know what this is yet." I look at him.

"It's okay Maddie. I know you don't care what people think. It's okay with me but I think we should keep this on the low. So, I'm still single, so are you and we stay single until your word." He looks over at me and the blue ice is stuck onto my green and brown eyes.

"What about your word?" I ask questioning him.

"You've already got mine." He looks at me. Stares practically into my eyes and I feel the need to turn away to hide my embarrassment and stupid emotions.

I turn over and curl up in a ball hiding from the world. Sometimes I wish I could stay hidden. Away from all the bad and decisions that I haven't made because of how scared I am.

Daniel stays. He doesn't move closer to me and I wish I could say thank you for that. My space is overflowing. I feel like I can't do anything about it.

I don't know. Somethings wrong with me. It's like I never have time. I never have time to do anything. Sometimes I wish I could visit my mom and ask her how she does it, but she probably never wants to see me again. I wish I could fly out to reach my dad, for comfort.

Harley's been there. Always trying to put me in a better mood and fix me up. Trying to stitch and staple me back together. I have college to attend since I'm still nineteen. I recently moved to LA from Michigan and the lifestyle is very different.

My classes don't start until late June and I already feel like a mess. As much as Bora Bora should seem like a great vacation and a break, there's so much more that I have to get back at. It's much different from high school in England and schooling in Michigan.

I feel like I need a break. Or maybe it's just the fact that I woke up at four in the damn morning. I turn back around to scowl at my waker.

"Everything okay Mads?" He asks and the rude facial expression that I made fades into a slight smile.

"I guess, I was just thinking," I face the sky. Falling into the color blue. Seeing the clouds form into unique shapes, staying and looking so soft and gentle.

"You curl up like that to think?" He chuckles and my smile grows bigger even though I try to stop it by biting my lip.

"It was cold" I lie keeping my eyes straight up. Staring at the sky is much easier than making eye contact.

"Maddie, stop lying you're terrible at it," he sighs and tilts my chin towards to face me, "what's wrong?"

I feel a moment of silence wash over me with how hard it is to put my feelings and emotions in words.

"Do you ever feel like you just want a break from everything because you're scared of what's about to happen?" I breathe and he scoots closer brush a piece of my hair back and behind my ear.

"All the time Maddie, and it's okay to take a break." He keeps his eyes on mine and I feel a lot better.

"So many things are happening around me and I don't know what to do. It's scary. I moved here a month ago and I'm still trying to get used to everything. This trip is making me feel weird like I don't belong anywhere around you."

Daniel frowns, "Maddie, don't say that." He pulls me in and my eyes close allowing everything to flow that I've kept in for so long.

"Daniel," I sob, "it feels so different." I cry into him, trying to hold on tighter.

"I'm here Maddie, I'm always here. If you need me, then I'm right where you need me to be."

I find myself only crying more at his desperate words. I feel his hand brush through my hair and repeat that action every time I inhale and exhale.

"Can we go in the water?" I bring myself to ask and he nods, holding my hand once I reach the ladder.

I dip down into the warm water and lay my hair back. I find myself soon fully submerged into the light see-through water.

It's calm down here. Peaceful. I wish I could stay. I bring myself back to the top to see Daniel still sitting on the dock with his feet in the water, hanging over the wood.

I swim so I can be in between them both. I push myself, still in the water but higher by having my hands pressed against the side of the dock.

"Maddie-

"Please don't talk." I pled wanting to savor the moment of him. Keeping his gaze in my eyes and feeling the blue burn against my forest creating a blurred jungle.

I want to keep this moment bottled because I know it won't last forever. Only three weeks, more than that.

Because as soon as our trip ends it'll be like none of this ever happened. It'll be me, alive and hanging on to the edge. Not fully in the water where it's peaceful. I'll be back into reality and seeing the worlds flash between my eyes.

So I savor.

So I won't forget.

So I can keep dreaming because I don't want someone to pinch me from this one.

a/n

thoughts??

till the next'

xx

hannah