Lusting for you

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"Where have they all gone?" I asked Lucian, looking around the empty room in bewilderment.

He shrugged his shoulders uncaringly not even bothering with a response. I stared at his quiet and somber profile lit only with the fading light of dusk then turned away to tidy up.

The place was a mess. As always his friends would tear it apart and I would put it all back together again. I sighed and simply set to work. Trying not to look at him as I did.

But his profile was turned away from me and I couldn't help my gaze from wanting to drink him in. He was all that I was not. Beautiful with his strong frame, his chiseled features, straight nose and dark hair. His large soft brown eyes were so contrary to everything that he was that they stood alone in gripping those who gaze into them stripping them bare before his cunning mind kicked in to rip through his victims soul and tear them apart. Lucian was beautiful...but deadly.  Charismatic but aloof. We were polar opposites like night and day.

Yet here I was his friend since childhood. His only true friend. The one so ridiculously besotted with him that I really couldn't accept him for what he was. Of what he had become.... a living dead. A blood sucker no less.

"Well I guess I will be going too," I said finally finding no more reason to stay. I had already cleaned up the mess. I tossed one last look at his brilliant profile and held back my bedazzled sigh.

I took the few steps necessary to let myself out the door. I was almost at my car when a burst of wind alerted me that he was there. I spun around to find myself locked in his arms.

"Don't go!" He cried. "Not yet. I have need for you."

I stared at the hidden torment in his eyes and could only nod my head. It was always the same. He would turn to me in need and I would always give in. I swept my arms around his shoulders as he lifted me up then closing my eyes to save myself from vertigo I allowed myself to be whipped through time and space till I was where I always wanted to be... lying in his arms and on his bed.

He didn't hesitate. Burrowing his face into the curve of my neck he bit down. Sinking his teeth into my flesh. The pain was blinding but I was accustomed to it. I gritted my teeth refusing to cry out. He lapped at my gushing blood trying to hurry to reduce my suffering. I didn't have to suffer. I only chose to feel the pain. The pain I could handle not the alternative. Not the pleasure so accute I would be enslaved. More than I already was, anyway.

He hated hurting me but he respected my wishes. He understood my need to suffer the pain. I needed it more than he knew. This like nothing else kept me awake. Aware of what he really was. Of what I should stop craving for. As always the tears of pain rushed down my face.

"Shh," he whispered breathing hard as he licked them away. Trying to soothe away the pain the only other way he could.

"Its okay," he reassured me. "I'm almost done."

I whimpered. I knew he always misunderstood. My tears were never for me. They were always and have always been only for him. My sorrow over what he had become. What he has been reduced to... a vampire. Feeding off the blood of others only to survive. I hated his suffering and I hated my helplessness. Unable to do anything for him. I felt his tongue flick over my damp cheeks and held myself firmly to resist the urge to sweep my own out to meet his.

I wondered again as I had countless times before just what his reaction would be to my ... kiss.

"There," he said finally, licking away the last of my spilled blood and sealing my open wound. "I'm done."

I laid there refusing to allow the tendrils of pure pleasure that his tongue against my skin produced. That was unavoidable. It had naught to do with him being a vampire.. only with him being him.

He fell back beside me in bed. Feeding affected him as well as it should have affected me. It gave him pleasure beyond the simple taste of my blood on his lips. This pleasure was sensual and deeply arousing.

In the beginning he could not quite contain his excitement. He would begin to rub himself against me to cum in the end. But my pain ate into his pleasure. That I refused to succumb and allow him to gift me with unbound pleasure erroded his own. Till he begun to pull away to finish off in the quiet confines of the bathroom while I lay a bed recovering my strengths. But now we were both adults. Seasoned veterans at this. Now he could simply lay back and let the pleasure roll over him. Carry him away afloat on its haze blissfully unaware to his surroundings.

I loved the opportunity this gave me. To watch him unheeded. Without attracting his sharp focus. I turned my head now slowly not willing to strain my aching neck. I turned to face him. To watch as the pleasure caught up to him as his features transformed awash by its gentle persuasion. I wondered at these moments just where he went. Where was it that gave him such happiness. It was a question I have never asked. I only waited as I would an eternity for his trust. For him to tell me all of it on his own accord.

I blinked away the tears that treathened again to drop from my eyes and I arose shakily suddenly eager to be gone.

His hand reached out swiftly catching mine in a gentle but firm grip. I turned to him questioningly.

"Have a bite to eat before you go," he whispered softly like he always did. I gave a small grunt in acknowledgement. I was still too raw to speak but he understood me just as I did him. So he said nothing more but released me to let me go.

I stumbled out of his room then thread drunkenly down his stairs. I made the effort to stop by his kitchen stocked just for me to grab a bite. I knew he would be listening tracking my every movement.

I hobbled out finally. The looming darkness welcoming. Concealing my pale face from the world. I strode on wobbling with each step till I came to my car. I kept my mind empty. Blank. Refusing to think at all till I got the car started and drove. Down his long winding driveway... across town till I was far enough. Far enough to know he couldn't hear me. He couldn't feel me. I pulled into my usual spot. A parking lot in a deserted emporium. I switched off the engine and let my head drop forward onto the steering... before I gave in. Gave in to howl out the tears of pain and despair in the most exquisite pain of all.

The pain of unrequited love.

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