018; real life

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The more Awsten thinks about it and dwells on the past, the more terrifying the idea of moving in with Thea. He tries to remind himself of all that will be different this time around. Most importantly, Thea not Emily. And this time the other person is moving into his place, not the other way around. Moreover, even if Elijah doesn't quite trust him yet, he still trusts Elijah with his life and they're not going far away from him and all of his other friends in the city. He's staying in his home, at a comfortable distance from friends, with someone he knows won't hurt him.

But he still keeps thinking back on Emily.

He knows he has to talk to Thea about this, be upfront with her and express his concerns and the things holding him back right now. It's not that he doesn't want to live with her, he absolutely does. If it wasn't for his messy past, he'd not hesitate even a moment. Unfortunately, the past exists and he's more careful because of it. So, he needs to talk to Thea. He needs to ask her to make promises he already knows she shouldn't really need to make. The promises really hold no value, Emily broke promises to him all the time and he knows that Thea could do the same if she really wanted. He knows she doesn't have to keep any promise she makes not to do the things Emily did. Despite that, he's still going to ask it of her and he's still going to trust her if she does make those promises because this is Thea. This is not Emily, this is Thea. Thea won't break her promises and Awsten certainly won't break his.

Awsten is tired of being scared and needing to stop and think through things he would have jumped right to in the past. Despite that, he allows himself to feel a small bit of pride in himself when his mind goes right to talking it through instead of running from the problem. He knows that wouldn't have always been his go-to and he's proud of himself for not reverting back to old habits.

Wanting to stay on the right path and not risk overthinking it and not talking to her about it, he texts Thea and asks if she's free to talk. She answers that she's out with Shane, Ryland, and Morgan right now but she should be home in a couple hours and they could talk then, unless it was urgent, then she would head over now. He assures her that it can wait and to just let him know when she gets home and he'll drop by then.

He waits it out, keeping himself busy with any random task he can come up with to avoid getting lost in his head. Time seems to drag on until it suddenly all passes by at once and Thea is texting him, letting him know she's on her way home. He decides to start heading over, hoping she'll be home by the time he gets there.

Luckily, they arrive at about the same time.

"Hey," Awsten greets with a small smile, giving her a quick hug before they start heading up to Thea's apartment. "D'you have fun with Shane, Ryland, and Morgan?"

"Hi," Thea starts off, smiling a bit at how he rushes out his words. He does that a lot and it always makes her smile, wondering if his head is going to fast for him to talk at a normal pace. "Yeah, it was nice. Haven't really hung out with them in a while so it was nice, made plans to go hang out again with them and Garrett and Andrew too, maybe Jeffree. You should come; Shane asked about you."

"He did?" Awsten is caught a bit off guard.

"Mhm," Thea hums as she opens her door and they both go inside, "my friends did like you when you met them."

"Didn't know they liked me enough to give a shit," he replies with a shrug.

"They're a bunch of softies," she tells him with a small smile, "they care about basically everyone all the time. Especially Shane. So, you had something you wanted to talk about?"

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