My Nonexistent Love Story/Skinny Love

#20: A Christmas Party

I totally love the song on side! Hope you like it, too :)

***

 Jason

I don't like parties.

I looked around, totally bored.

Why did I even come?

I gnashed my teeth as my smart subconsciousness was about to whisper the answer. I just didn't want to .. overthink. However, at the same time I knew too well it was true.

Let's just keep talking about parties .. it's good to keep your head clean.

Like it's ever possible, my subconsciousness withered. I ignored it.

Yes, at that time I din't like parties at all. Because when we had parties, people immediately got drunk and messed around. What was the point anyway?

Why I got used to them later .. nice. That's exactly what I call "let's not overthink". Oh, okay, it's impossible to get her out of my head. Let her be then.

I just understood in the first gymnasium years how much Caro liked these parties. She feels more free. Beside, she was't like others - her "heavy drinking" consisted of only one can of cider and she was always against doing any drugs.

Smart girl, huh? You like these, don't you? Shut up, I roared in response to my subconsciouness. Wow, I'm really dumb. Arguing here with myself. I'm insane.

And how he slowly moved herself in the rhytm of music, trying to do that delicately, so no one would think she's crazy.

No one would ever dare to...

She was angelic in every way. And at the same time she tried not to be so .. girly. Maybe I didn't think only about good angels. She may have got something dark in her as well.

I liked where I was at the moment. I could lose myself in my thoughts as well as observe others without being noticed by myself. (I was on the balcony.) I could look for Caro there as well as other people, just in case. I let my eyes wander around the hall, trying to find Zack and starting to panic when not finding him and Caro.

Call me paranoid but you can expect everything from Zack.

And then I found them. Seeing something that was breaking my heart.

***

Caro

"Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away..."

I knew it was stupid. To sing somewhere where are like lots of people, especially when these people are your own classmates, who can call you a freak then.

Like I already wasn't one...

"Caaaroooo," Micha slumped down on the chair and took a sip from glogg.

I tilted my head, waiting for her comment. Dunno about what, though.

"Why aren't you dancing with your dream guy?"

I raised my brows. "Because he .. hasn't invited me? Where is he, after all?" I tried to switch the topic, not that I was successful, but it didn't kill me as I tried.

"There," She made a move with her head towards Jason, Zack and Ian. "Why don't you invite him by yourself?"

Told ya, Micha wouldn't buy it.

"Because .. I don't have enough courage?" I tried to make my voice sound like I was improvising, though, it was true. As I had mentioned before, we had really serious problems with talking with Jason, and after his touch when I turned into .. an electric eel, I was truly scared to touch him.