Chapter 1

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<P class=MsoNormal>I woke up to my own blood-curling scream. I woke to my own blood-curling scream. I was dripping in sweat and was panting like I just ran a marathon. </P>

<P class=MsoNormal>That dream, no that nightmare, is where all my thoughts were eluded when I was asleep since the accident. It started on that very night. </P>

<P class=MsoNormal>I need to get away from this, all of this, I can't take it anymore. They have been ignoring me for months. They had even more hatred in their eyes than usual. They were even more ashamed of me, and more embarrassed. They were pretending like nothing had ever happened, they pretending like I don't exist. They were pretending like everything was alright. Ever since the accident, nothing has been the same. </P>

<P class=MsoNormal>My brothers looked at me in pity which the only emotion they gave me besides hate. I should've died with him. Why did he leave me?</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>He was my everything. He was the one that always stood by me. He wasn't just a figment of my imagination. He were real, he was real as a clear blue sky. He understood me, he cared for me, and most importantly he held a passionate feeling that no one had ever given me and/or had directed towards me- love. He loved me. He loved me like his favorite person in the whole wide world, he loved me like his sister.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>Without him, I am nothing. Without him, I am lost and would never be found. </P>

<P class=MsoNormal>He was my only real and best friend. He was the one who I could share anything with. Even though I was extremely grateful for him, I could never help but wonder why he even hung out with me. I knew I was a loser, a freak and I wasn't exactly pretty or attractive in any way. He was gorgeous. He was tall, built, had these beautiful milk chocolate eyes, and messy brown hair that would put any model to shame. He was one of "them", the popular kids, but he always preferred to stay by my side. </P>

<P class=MsoNormal>My whole family blames me for what happened. I blame myself for what happened. It was my fault.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>I tasted something salty on my upper lip. I realized that I was crying. I haven't cried since that night in the hospital. I couldn't cry, not anymore. I had to be strong for myself, that's what he would've wanted.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>I made my decision that quickly. I started packing. I decided that I should travel light. I threw all of my t-shirts, shorts, jeans, socks and pretty much everything that was essential into two back-packs and had a separate backpack for my blanket and pillow.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>Lastly, I grabbed my photo frame that was right next to my bed. It was a picture of me and him. I loved that picture. It was taken at our tree house that we built ourselves. No one else knew about it. It was a place that we could go to when we just needed to get away. I thought about all of my memories with him as they came flooding back. I thought about when I met him and how that was the best day of my life. I thought about the creek and how he held my hand when I was too scared to jump because it was so high up. I thought about all the times he held me and comforted me in his safe arms. I thought about all the times he made laugh like there was no tomorrow. </P>

<P class=MsoNormal>Next, I grabbed my necklace that he had given me. I swore that I would never take it off, but after what happened I couldn't bring myself to put it on again. </P>

<P class=MsoNormal>After months, I slowly unclamped it and put it around my neck. I felt as if he was here with me. I felt as if he was watching over me. I felt his presence. I felt safe and most importantly I felt like myself again. </P>

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