015; dream/real life

146 14 24

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Everything is dark and Awsten is lost.  He hears crying and somehow he just knows that it's the twins but he can't tell where the sound is coming from.

He runs in one direction and then it suddenly sounds like the crying is coming from the opposite direction and he starts going that way, only for it to happen all over again.  He loses track of the times he changes direction before he collides with something and is knocked backward, sending him falling down in the dark nothingness, the crying echoing in his ears as he plummets down.

He falls until he lands standing on a stage, lights shining a little too brightly compared to the crushing darkness he just came from.  He has a guitar, the strap draped over his shoulders but he has no idea where came from or why he knows he should be playing Plum Island right now, or why he's actually starting to play the song for the screaming crowd in front of the stage.

Over all of the screaming, the best of the drums, the chords being played on the guitars, and his own singing, he can still somehow hear the twins crying.  It sounds like it's coming from right backstage but no one else seems to care or even hear it and he can't leave the stage to get to them.  He just stays on stage and plays the show despite how much his mind urges him to escape and find the twins.

His eyes dart out over the crowd and lock on a familiar face.  She gives him a smile, one like from the day they met, and the sight makes him feel sick because he knows the evil lurking behind the sweet smile and kind eyes.

Everyone else is suddenly gone and the music stops, leaving the two of them alone with the faint sound of the twins crying in the background.  Awsten tries to go to the twins but feels locked in place as Emily moves close, staring him down.

"Well, aren't you gonna go get them?" Emily asks mockingly, leaning against the front of the stage with her arms resting on it.  "Why are you just standing there?  Go get them.  Or are you really just this fucking useless?  Can't do anything, huh?  You're gonna ruin them the same way you ruined things with Thea...the same way you ruined us."

He blinks and suddenly he's in Emily's house and she's there with him too, the sound of the twins crying echoing in his head with the pouring rain outside.  He tries to get to the door to go outside to get them but Emily stops him, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him back.

"You'll ruin them," she taunts, "they're better off with someone else, someone who will actually be there for them.  You can never be a good dad to them.  Thea's going to raise them on her own and you know it.  You'll never be enough."

"I'm trying," he says desperately, trying again to get to the door only to be pushed onto the floor.  "Please, let me get them.  I need to—"

"What's going to happen when you're on tour then?  How are you going to get to them then?  Face it, babe, you can't do this.  Might as well come back home to me.  You're gonna be useless to Thea anyway," Emily continues mocking.  "She's going to do this without you."

"No," he denies, shaking his head and blinking back tears as he fights to get to the door.  He tries with everything he has in him but Emily keeps pulling him back and the crying from the twins gets louder and louder with every failed attempt.

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