Pushin' Me Away • {Joe Jonas}

09. c h a n g e s

A month and a half later, Lex's head was almost healed and she'd been clean and sober for forty-five days. It had been hard. Recovering from the head wound and dealing with the pain sober while also dealing with withdrawals and craving alcohol and drugs more than she ever had was potentially the hardest thing she'd ever done.

Joe had been there every step of the way just like he'd said he'd be. For the first week of rehab she hadn't been allowed visitors, but after that he'd come to see her as often as he could. Nick, Kevin, and Meghan had been there often as well, and Lex couldn't believe how different it made things to actually feel supported through the whole ordeal. This time was different than the three times she'd done it before. This time she actually wanted to stay clean. This time she actually wanted to get better.

On her last day, she sat in the lobby of the facility waiting for Joe to come pick her up and felt more hopeful than she remembered feeling in a very long time. When she'd been to rehab before, she'd never been honest in therapy. She'd never actually spoken truthfully about her issues. This time, she had. She'd laid everything out on the table and actually made an effort to be helped. She felt refreshed, like she'd woken up from a very long and very bad dream.

Joe walked into the front doors and she smiled widely at him, watching as his eyes lit up in return. That was another thing that had drastically improved: their relationship. She felt like they were friends for the first time in years. She'd managed to put her feelings for him enough on the back burner to really fix their friendship and she couldn't believe how much good it seemed to have done both of them. They'd spent hours talking about anything and everything, talking through all the old shit. Of course, it had also made her fall further hopelessly in love with him and they hadn't really talked about that side of things, but she was still just so glad to have him back as a friend more than anything.

"You ready to get out of here, Lexy?" he asked her as she stood. She nodded, smiling again as he took her duffel bag from her and slung it over his shoulder. They made their way to the front desk and he signed her out. Technically, she had to be signed out to someone, and that meant he was supposed to be "supervising" her for the next thirty days. The idea of him staying with her for an entire month at her house made butterflies flip around her stomach.

As they pulled into her driveway a while later, her breath caught in her throat.

"I... made some changes. Hope you don't mind," he told her, looking at her as tears filled her eyes. She'd owned her house since she was twenty, at the very end of their relationship. She'd always talked about wanting to fix it up, to make it more homey and pretty, but had never really had enough focus to commit to it.

"It looks like a completely different place, Joe," she breathed, taking it all in. He'd had the porch completely redone. The ramshackle wood had been repainted a bright white and there were countless colorful flowers in beds all around the front of the house. There was a big wooden swing on the porch and it all just looked so much more inviting than it ever had.

"The credit doesn't really go to me. Honestly, Danielle and the girls picked a lot of the flowers and I just hired someone to plant them," he told her, referring to Kevin's wife and daughters. "But don't put those happy tears away yet. This is just the beginning," he told her, making her laugh quietly.

He led her into the house and she could immediately see more changes. Every room seemed to have been painted a brighter and happier color and a lot of her old and broken down furniture had been replaced with newer nicer things.

"I just wanted it to be happy for you to come home to. I hope you don't mind," he said again from the doorway, sounding nervous.

"Joe, it's... it's perfect," she told him, shaking her head. "I can't believe you managed to make it look so good. Honestly I kind of always thought I'd have to move to have a house that looked this good."

"Like I said, I just wanted it to be happy for you."

"Thank you," she whispered, pushing herself into his arms. He hugged her, holding her close to his chest. "Thank you for everything. This... none of this would've happened without you."

"None of it would've happened if you hadn't wanted it to. I just gave you that push you needed. You're the one that did all the hard shit. You're so brave, Lex, and I just wanted you to remember that. I just wanted you to remember the person you used to be, the person... the person I used to know," he told her, and she pulled away enough to smile up at him.