A New Beginning

40. Where is he?

"GUYS, GUYS!!! Have anybody seen Jeff?" Nick came running in on the Warbler room.

Everyone turned to him not knowing what is happening.

"Okay, calm down Nicky.. he right now is at his therapist" Blaine decided to talk first.

"No, I've checked there when he didn't show up to our date. Don't you thi-" he looked at Sebastian.

"No, he has come far enough to fall back to that again," Sebastian said.

Wes and David stood up and began to talk to the other Warblers and arrange a search party. Everyone agrees and they went on their way.

"So since when you don't see Jeff, Nick?" Kurt came closer to the conversation.

"Well... I saw him this Monday at our dorm he was looking like any other day but like any other night, he went to the bathroom and stayed there a few minutes. " he began to say. "Yesterday I only saw him in the morning and by the evening I didn't saw him but I thought it was with any of you guys." He got quiet.

"And that is all?" Dave joins in.

He looks at Dave and nod. "He didn't show up to sleep, that's not very him."

"So you say, you check with his therapist?" Blaine said.

"Yes"

-Nick Flashback 30 minutes ago-

He knocks onto Dr. O'Malley door. Given some time to him to answer.

"Come in"

"Hey, Dr. Can I ask you a question?"

"Um... Yes, take a seat...Nick... Right?"

"Yes, thank you"

"So what is that question you wanted to ask me?"

"Did Jeff came to therapy today?"

"Let me do memory... Yes, he came by after the rehearsals of hockey." He paused. "If you want me to tell you what we talked, let me tell you that I can't it's personal information."

"I know, Dr. but can you at least tell me if he told you where he was going next from here... It's cause I haven't seen him and it been two days."

The doctor looks at Jeff with concern. He hasn't seen anybody like that. "He says that he will go to his dorm."

"I will check there...thank Doc." Nick turned and went to find Jeff.

-End of Nick Flashback-

"And did you found Jeff?" Sebastian asked.

"I went to our dorm and I didn't saw him," Nick said. "Although his bed was unmade."

"So where is him?" Dave said.

-Jeff Flashback 1 hour ago-

It's taking me hard to keep this urge of cutting myself. And today's therapy didn't work. I know Dr. O'Malley is just trying to help me. 

Jeff was heading towards his dorm and tired. His bags under his eyes show him that he hasn't been sleeping very well.

Maybe if I showered this tiredness would fade away.

As he was entering the dorm, he saw the bed of Nick that was made, he turns around and grabs shirt, pants boxers and all new.

He went in and open the shower and as the water was falling on him he began to cry and sat down on the tub.

The minute he finished crying, he stood up and opened the drawer and saw the razor. He didn't think twice before he was cutting again.

Drip drop...

The thick red liquid dropped slowly to the water staining the water red. The smell of blood was disgusting. Yet the razor was against his skin.

The sharp edge rocked back and forth on your wrist. He could feel the pain from the last cut. He began to cry again.

Why? How...? How did I end up like this? I had a boyfriend that loves me so much. Why am I doing this to him?

Weak

A sharp voice snapped harshly inside his mind.

Sordid, rotten and pathetic. This is all your fault. Look how worthless you are.

"SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP! Please..." Jeff cried out loud.

He buried his face in his bloody hands. Ugh, the smell of the blood was so intense and strong that he had the urge to puke but he had no more strength to stand up.

He started to sob uncontrollably. His whole body was now shaking, and with no hesitation, he stabbed the razor on his wrist again.

The pain rushed up from his wrist to the whole body as he was cutting his flesh. He let a small groan and by seconds he passed out.

-Jeff Flashback end-

"Nicky, Nick you need to come out quick!"  Thad came in running from the hall to the Warblers Room.

"Hold up, Thad, what's the matter?"

"It's Jeff we found Jeff" it's all he could say still grasping for air.

"Where is he? Is he fine? Did he did damage to himself?" Nick was scared at this point that Thad didn't respond to any of his questions.

"Thad?" Sebastian said. "Respond at least one question, don't you see that he is scared and wants to know how his boyfriend is."

"He isn't right." He paused. "Me and some boys found them in your dorm and he was unconscious in the bathtub." He paused again and this time he looks at Sebastian.

"Why did you paused. Thad?" Nick said as he was breathing heavily.

"We found him, unconscious and with a lot of loss blo-"

Thad didn't even finish the sentence when Nick rushed by him and when to his dorm. When Nick entered his dorm he could see that Wes and Trent were already cleaning Jeff off.

Nick stood in the middle of the room and by seconds later he got closer to him and said.

"Why did you do this to yourself, you should've come to me if you were feeling down. Now I don't know what I would do if you are gone"

With those last words, Nick sat next to Jeff and began to cry.