012; real life/texts/real life/flashback

231 14 127

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Awsten has been making good on his promise to do everything to show Thea he loves her and wants to be with her, though he's careful not to exhaust himself with it when his therapist reminds him that working himself into oblivion isn't good for him. He wants to do as much as he can without overworking himself to the point that his emotions go off the rails. He needs to keep himself under control so, as much as he wants to, he tries not to overdo it.

He comes to the hospital to visit as often as he can but makes sure that he has time to sleep, eat, and take care of himself between visits. He brings Thea food when he visits because hospital food is the fucking worst I hate it, heard it's worse than prison food. He didn't spend too long at the hospital on his therapy day because he knows he's always exhausted after therapy. Thea is only in the hospital for four days before being sent home with the contact information for where she should go for any concerns throughout her pregnancy. An ultrasound is scheduled for a week from the day Thea is let out of the hospital and she invited Awsten to go with her, which he immediately agreed to.

Now that Thea is home, Awsten isn't sure how often he should visit. It was easier to have an excuse to visit while she was in the hospital and he could justify it by bringing her food or flowers or whatever other random things he could think of that she would like.

Now, he doesn't have as many reasons to come visit and tries to think up any excuses he can to go see her without being overbearing. He doesn't want to put too much on her, despite always wanting to be around. He wants to give her some space so she can think about where they are and what she's okay with. He wants to do everything but he doesn't want to overwhelm her with anything. She's been home for three days now and Awsten hasn't come up with any excuses to go see her.

He soon finds out that she wants to see him too.

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texts between 💚 and awsie 💚

are you busy?

no why do you need anything?

no

i miss you do you wanna
come over?

you don't have to if you don't
wanna but i was thinking we
could maybe start looking at
baby names?

of course i want to, i'll be right
over. do you want me to bring
anything on the way?

no it's okay but thanks, see
you soon

see you soon

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Awsten almost adds I love you to the last message but decides against it, not wanting to cross any lines. He's tried to avoid saying it too much, he wants to show her without having to say it constantly.

He heads out to his car, thinking about how he'll probably try to buy a new car that's better for taking car seats in and out of and is extra safe. He wants to make sure he has only the best of all of what's needed.

He thinks it over as he drives to Thea's apartment. He's unsure of where this will all go in the end, if he'll be able to earn Thea's trust back or if his mistakes are something that will keep them from ever moving forward.  He hopes he can prove to her that he won't ever do anything like that again but he knows he'll have to accept it if he can't.  He's afraid of the possibility of having to accept that he might never get another chance with Thea but it's something he knows is entirely possible.  He's hoping it doesn't come down to that because he doesn't know how he would manage to be in her life for the baby and never being able to actually be with Thea.  Logically, he knows that he'd have to just deal with it because it was his actions that got him there but he knows that his emotions would be a whirlwind and it'd make things a lot harder.

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