Crazies

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The night that Lillie and Jacob spent with us was so much fun. We played so many games, acted like idiots, and had the time of our lives. The whole week in Hawaii was a dream. I was so sad to see it end.

Flash forward to a few months later, June was pretty boring. Even though we got out of school and summer had just started, my life felt so routine. I would be at gymnastics pretty much everyday, hang out with Nathan or friends, and just relax at home. Nothing interesting.

~~~

It felt like any other day, just relaxing on the couch on a rainy afternoon after practice. I was scrolling through instagram, not really focusing on the pictures I was seeing. I just felt kind of sad. I wasn't really sure why. The practice I had earlier was nothing out of the ordinary. I had made all of my skills, finished my conditioning, and my coach was in a good mood.

I had been doing better mentally since the incident I had on the bridge. I thought I was past being sad all of the time. Maybe it was just an off day.

I decided to text Nathan and talk to him. He always seemed to have a way of making me feel better.

I tried to text him a few times but it wouldn't go through. His phone was probably dead. Ugh.

I didn't really feel like talking to anyone else, so I set my phone down and went outside. The rain had calmed down to a drizzle, so I sat on the porch step by the back door.

I looked up to the sky and saw all of the dark clouds swirling above me. A tear fell from my eye.

A few more and eventually a stream of tears were falling down my cheeks. I just began to cry.

Without reasoning, I just let it all out. I guess I had just let it build up for a while and it hit me all at once.

It started to rain harder and I didn't move. I let the rain soak my hair and my clothes, the rain water mixing with the tears on my face.

I just sat in the rain, crying for what seemed like hours. I wanted to be alone, but I secretly wanted someone to come comfort me. I just wanted a big hug and someone to tell me that everything was going to be okay. That it was all going to be alright and what I was feeling was only temporary.

But nobody came.

I eventually decided to go back inside and grabbed a towel from the laundry room to dry off. As I was walking out of the laundry room and through the kitchen, someone stopped me.

"Why are you all wet with your clothes on? Were you out in the rain?" Jackson asked me, looking confused.

I nodded and continued to walk past him.

"Hey, come back. Why were you out there?" He asked. I sniffled and rubbed the remaining tears off of my face.

"No reason," I said, pushing my way past him for good and went up to my room.

I shut my door, changed, and plopped on my bed. I flicked on the TV and stared at the screen.

All of a sudden, my door flung open. I looked over and saw nothing.

Huh. That's weird.

Just as I was building up the motivation to get up and check to see who it was, all four of my brothers barged through the door and jumped on my bed.

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