"Hey are we up so early?" Mal yawned as she rubbed her eyes.
The sun was just barely rising at this point and all the campers were extremely tired... at least until the appearance of a flaming arrow lighting the campfire. Everyone was immediately shocked awake and many took a few steps back.
"Camp Campbell campers." David's voice called out.
Everyone looked up, expecting to see their counselors as they always did. What they didn't expect was that all of them, including the Quartermaster, had tribal paint on their faces. They seemed to be dressed as native americans though David put a lot more effort into looking the part seeing as he had dawned a feather crown and had gone shirtless. His expression was much more serious than it usually was. They had to admit, it was weird not seeing David smile.
"Hau." The redhead put up a hand.
Everyone just stared for a moment.
"...Why?" Max groaned, mashing his face into his palm.
Mal gave him a pat on the back in hopes he wouldn't make this any more difficult.
"I am sure you must be wondering who we are," David continued, "but have no fear. I-"
"David, what the fuck are you doing?" Max cut him off.
The counselor seemed a little upset that he had been interrupted but responded anyway
"I am not David! Though... if he were here he'd tell you to mind your language. I am chief Squatting Bear."
More silence... at least until Space Kid decided to walk up.
"Oohhh, that's awesome." He beamed, only to be pushed into the dirt by Neil.
Mal glared at her nerdy friend and helped the boy to his feet as Nikki raised her hand.
"Gwen, why is David dressed like a turkey?" She asked.
"Because he's fucking David, Nikki. You've been here long enough to figure that out." She groaned.
"Gwen! Don't break character! And I'm not a turkey. I'm an Indian chief."
"Like the twins?" Neil asked.
Max and Mal both quirked an eyebrow in confusion.
"What? No. Like the Cherokees. You know." David then proceeded to make a bird sound.
"Wow that is racist." Max deadpanned as his sister let out a small grimace.
"Seriously, are you offended?" Neil asked them.
Another flaming arrow stuck into the ground, inches away from their feet.
"Silence!" Quartermaster ordered, "Do your thing."
"Uh... Right." David said, "We represent the Order of the Sparrow. A secret society that gathers only to honor the most worthy of campers."
"So then what are you doing here?" Nikki asked.
David sighed and stuck his staff into the ground before allowing himself to break character.
"Look, guys, the Order's been around since I was a camper. It's a huge honor! And it's really cool!"
"I'll believe that when I see it." Max challenged.
"Oh, you will, Max," David told the boy, crouching down in front of him before getting back up, "because today you will all be given the chance to prove your worth."
"Do we have to?" Harrison whined.
"No, but-" Everyone started to walk away but Mal, "WAIT! Never mind! It's mandatory!"
Everyone groaned but stopped moving away regardless.
"But, those of you who are accepted into the Order will receive the ultimate prize."
"Wait... really?" Mal asked, looking surprised.
"Huh? There's a prize?"
"What is it?"
"Tell us now, turkey-man!" Dolph demanded.
"Yeah. Wait, what prize?" Gwen asked.
"All will be revealed at the setting of the sun, sister Gwen." David assured his co counselor, giving her a pat on the cheek, "So, shall we begin."
"YEAH!" The camper's shouted.
The campers watched as Quartermaster hammered a sign into the ground in front of the mess hall.
"Well this is stupid." Max droned.
"Seriously. "Do good every day?" That's just bad grammar." Neil agreed
"I think it's "Do good", like a superhero." Nikki tried.
Dolph got an odd glint in his eye.
"I could be the hero this camp deserves." He said, rubbing his hands together.
"I can be nice! I'm the nicest!" Preston yelled.
"Great!" David beamed, "Because you all have until sundown to convince me."
As soon as he said that, Nikki tackled him to the ground.
"David! You know me! You know I love nature! You know if I could I would have BABIES with nature. So do I get my prize now?"
"Calm down, Nikki." David whimpered.
"Step off!" Nerf demanded, sending Nikki flying before offering David his hand, "May I help you up, David?"
"Nurf! That was-"
"A very kind gesture, I know. So can my prize be cigarettes?"
"You sure this will work?" Gwen asked.
"Come on guys. Leave David alone for now." Mal said, going over to where Nikki was, on the floor, before helping her up, "You okay, Nik?"
The girl nodded and David gave a small smile
"You know what? Yes actually."
David was very, VERY, wrong.
Harrison pushed Nerris into the lake and she almost drowned. Dolph did something truly disgusting that I will not describe, Preston (somehow) cleared the entire camp of it's dirt and I mean ALL of it, and Neil tried to kiss the platypus... yeah not gonna explain that one.
"This doesn't count, David." Max told him, leaning against the mess hall, "They don't ACTUALLY care."
"W-w-what do you mean? Of course they do! Look at 'em!"
"No. They're just doing all of this because they think they'll get something awesome."
"A little motivation never hurt anyone."
"Until they find out there IS no prize."
"Of course there's a prize! It's a great prize!"
"A new pony? A motorcycle? An electron microscope?!"
"No! It's better than all of that! It's symbolic and beautiful!"
"Is it "a job well-done"? Because that's a fucking cop-out, David!"
"IT'S A BONFIRE!"
"What?!" The rest of the camper's shouted.
Max and David turned to them in shock as if they had forgotten they were there.
"What?!" Space kid said, a little too late.
"A bonfire!" David announced as he showed them the large, un lit, campfire that he had prepared.
"...A bonfire." Neil repeated.
'Yes! It's the highest honor. The fire is lit with a flaming arrow signifying the-"
"Wait. We don't actually get anything?" Nikki asked.
"I mean... Of course you do! Everyone gets their own sash. Like this!" David said, holding up a light blue sash.
"But it's so ugly!" Preston complained
"David, is this seriously it?" Gwen asked.
"Yeah, David." Max smirked.
Mal didn't know what to do. She wanted too help so badly but she didn't know how. Eventually she just ended up giving David a pitying look. David saw and seemed to deflate at the realization that, even she, had given up on him.
"Okay. You guys just aren't seeing it. I'm telling you. This is amazing. The big fire, there's music, a ceremony, oh! And the passing of the staff! The chief chooses a new member to carry his staff and lead the new generation of sparrows!"
"So, one of us gets a stick?" Neil confirmed dully.
"IT'S AN ANCIENT STAFF!"
Mal let out a small gasp as David swung the staff a little too hard and it broke in two. David gasped too and everyone just stared.
"Welp, this is a trainwreck." Quartermaster said, deciding now was the best time to walk away.
"No, wait, I'll show you! Let me just get it lit." David said, kneeling down in front of the wood and bringing out some flint and steel.
He only managed to try twice before thunder cracked and it started raining. David looked up at the sky helplessly but didn't move.
"David, let it go." Gwen told him
"No, no, no! I can still light it! You'll see!"
He continued to bang the metals together in hopes of a miracle but no merical came. Everyone watched David's pathetic attempts in silence.
"I can't believe I frenched a platypus for this." Neil said.
"Come on, kids." Gwen began to lead everyone inside.
"Guys, wait! I-I've almost got it, I'm sure!"
They didn't listen. The twins were the only ones who stayed
"Well, David, you were right. This IS amazing." Max teased.
"If I could just show you..." David told him.
"Do you really think a big campfire and some outdated, honestly kind of racist tradition is going to make anyone care about anything?"
"Max, please." Mal begged him to stop.
"No one gives a shit, David. Nobody wants to be here." He continued any way.
David started banging the flint and steel together harder out of frustration.
"God. It's like you live in this stupid make-believe world where "everything's great!" The universe doesn't work that way, idiot. Just look around. It's what I've been trying to show you since day one."
"Life sucks. And we live in a world of desensitized, apathetic assholes."
The boy paused in his mission of torment as Mal grabbed his arm and forced him to face her.
YOU ARE READING
Camp Camp: Twinning AUFanfiction
Everyone knows Max. The trouble maker, the chaos inducer. Well, that's still the case in this universe only this time... there's two of them. Mal is Max's twin sister. Kind, caring, and a little socially awkward. It's only natural that the only reas...