Chapter Seventeen - Too Real

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"We'll go get a ECP first thing. Man, I am so sorry. I've never done that before...." he croaked, mortified with himself.

I held my hand up and shook my head. "We both got carried away."

I didn't say anything for a few minutes, just washed my body and let the startling realization sink in fully.

Gone was all the relaxation, as a new wave of drama washed over me leaving me feeling nauseous overwhelmed. I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel.

"I'll go alone." I murmured. "You've got recording and tour preparation to do."

"Scarlett" He warned, turning the nozzle off. He exited the shower cubicle himself. I held out a towel toward him. He took it and began to dry his beautiful body.

"No really, it's fine. I'd prefer to go alone." I murmured. Because I don't want you to see me buy a pregnancy test.

Xavier wrapped the towel around his waist and walked toward me.

"It was my mistake too, I should be there to support you."

the word 'Mistake' niggled at me, if I told him exactly what I was thinking then he'd insist on being there, I knew it. I wanted to be a mother, some day but not now. I'd only just let the world in, I was still very much the innocent teen I had been. I had so much catching up to do. I wasn't ready for a life to rely on me. Mistake was the perfect word, but Xavier had meant it for something else.

"You caring so much is support enough, please."

"I don't like it, but if you insist" He mumbled. "Just make sure you call me if you feel sick or something."

"Deal."

We walked from the bathroom across to my bedroom and fell in to bed. The moment my head hit the pillow I was asleep. While the millions of thoughts running through my head didn't hinder my ability to fall asleep They did cause some terrifying and vivid nightmares. I felt crushed, pinned down, trapped beneath everything. Each dream I had was worse than the last, first waves crashing continuously over me, not allowing me to stand up, followed by boulders the size of smalls car chasing me down a hill.

Perhaps worst of all I couldn't wake myself up. I was stuck in this never ending cycle of bad dreams.

When my eyes finally opened, I felt anything but rested. It was almost a relief to be awake.

Xavier was still asleep. The blanket covered only his groin, he looked like a model for sexy sheets now, that was for sure. I held back a giggle.

"Enjoying the view" He murmured sleepily.

"Yes." I admitted

"Whats the time?"

I turned took look at the clock beside me, It was 9:00am. Crap I was going to have to call in sick for work. I still had to make a dreaded trip to the chemist, and it scared the living shit out of me.

"9" I murmured turning back to face him.

Xavier groaned and lazily placed his arm on my hip. "I need to be at the studio in an hour."

"You should probably go then." I replied.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you this morning." he asked, his tone suggesting he had hoped I would change my mind.

"I'll be fine" I murmured, trying to brush off the anxiety I felt about what today could mean.

I needed to do this alone, because I didn't know what my reaction my be.

Xavier kissed me then sat up. He walked from the room naked and returned a few minutes later fully dressed.

"Did you want me to come back tonight?"

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