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I almost groaned as I saw he is on every channel.

"You know you are gonna broke the button. " I hear a chuckle behind me. I saw aunt and uncle sitting together on the couch in front of us while my kids sleeping on their laps.

I flip the remote to them.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of seeing him.

I'm tired to seeing him everywhere.

I hate the way my heart skips beats everything I see him.

This is not the first time I'm seeing him on the TV.

It's something happening from past three years probably.

When he opened his own firm he was all over the news and newspapers.

He got his break. 

Damn who I'm kidding.

He got many many breaks and now they are calling him almost every month for an exclusive interview for his success.

I still remember the first time I saw him after I ran away.

"Sonia, here , take these coffees to table number six." I nodded silently as I took hold of the tray in my hand and moved to the table number six.

"."..it's was not that hard you know""

My feet freeze at their spot as I hear the familiar voice booms behind me.

When I turn around I saw him.

I saw his face all over the TV screen.

My knees almost gave up and stumbled a few steps back before I took the support of a chair to steady myself.

Am I dreaming? He is ..alive. he is really there.

I almost felt like fainting at the momentThe clench in my gut grew and tell tray in my hand slip down.

Suddenly all eyes were on me as they stop what they were doing. But the TV didn't.

""You know if you want to go further you have to let go of the past. .. and I think letting go my past was the best decision I have ever taken. ""


I was bring out of my thoughts as somebody snatch away the remote from my hand.

"Are you really trying to break the poor button?" Uncle say as he switch the TV off and took a seat beside me.

"Is something bothering you my child. ?" His voice was soft and full of worry.

"I.. I'm m. No." I say and look away not trying to make any eye contact.

They can't see me crying.

I'm strong.

Even if I'm not. I have to be.

They don't know anything about him. They never asked about twins dad. I knew they won't judge me but I'm not going to tell them. 

Not now at least.

When once they started a conversation related to my husband or boyfriend the atmosphere of the room suddenly changed and I guessed they notice my hesitancy and they never asked me again.

And thank God for that.

I was happy when I get to know he is alive. Hell it was like somebody lift of a heavy stone off my chest when I saw him alien sitting there and taking. 

I am happy that he is doing great in his career too. Leaving his dad's firm and opening his own. It was such a great decision for him.

I'm not going to admit it hurt when the journalist flip her hair and throw that shiny smile over him.

It's like Stop. He is mine.

Or he was.

I don't want to go there.  It hurts like hell.

I took a deep breath and suddenly hug the worried old man beside me.

I need to get over it. I'm hidden. He has move on. We have nothing together now. We don't have anything to do with each other anymore.

I was his past and he had let me go. He has now moved on to his future.

And I'm here with my life.  My twins.

We better not cross our paths. Never.

I have to let go. I will also throw away all the newspaper I have put secretly in the shelf. The newspapers which are full of articles about him.



Thank you for reading.

Lots of love

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