The Dare That Started it All | Tratie

|C h a p t e r 29|

I've been told
that if you repeat a word
over and over
It loses its meaning

I have stayed up
countless nights
repeating your name
hoping
that you will mean less to me
with each breath

-Unknown

***************

|The Dare That Started It All|

★T r a v i s★

I've fucked up too many times to keep count. There are so many things that I wish I could change. But, now they're all in the past and I don't know how it's even possible to fix all of them now.

Except the biggest one of them all: hurting her.

Katie Gardner

She is something else. She knows exactly how to get on my nerves and what to stay to piss me off. But, she is also the most gorgeous human being I've ever came across. It isn't even just her perfect chocolate curls or pale milky skin that twists my stomach into knots.

It's just her.

There's honestly no way to describe it. It's just her as a human being. The way she laughs at the stupid things I tell her. How when she smiles everybody in the room instantly becomes in a better mood. And, God's, her blush is just about the cutest thing in the world.

Whenever I get to close to her or whisper in her ear she turns a dark shade of red that I long to see. Sometimes, I'll kiss her cheek or grab her hand casually, just to see her blush.

But, I don't deserve her.

Like she said, I'm nothing but a heartless player. I'm not going to lie; I am. I got with girls and then dumped them after a little bit.

And, I hate it.

Now, in the movies, this would be the time for the guy to rant about his first love that broke his heart... But, truth be told, I've never been in love with someone before. I don't what it feels like or even what to do.

For the past week, I've done nothing but go to my activities and then straight back to my cabin. At first, I thought that I could apologise to Katie at sword fighting, but she never showed.

I don't know exactly how she felt, but judging off how much she was crying: I hurt her, bad.

Why did I say those things about her? Of course, I didn't mean a single bad thing I said, but, I was a jerk for saying them. I don't even know why I said that to Sherman and Cecil. I guess, I was just confused about my feelings so I decided to be a selfish coward.

Even without knowing she was watching us, I felt absolutely awful talking about her like that. As if, she was just another fake Barbie doll that I dated for a few days.

But, then when I ran after her and she told me she like me, it all came crashing down on me until I couldn't sleep from all of my unspoken thoughts.

I've never been good with feelings. Sure, Katie might not be my first kiss or girlfriend, but she is the first person that I've had these feelings for. She's the first girl that made my heart beat so loud in my chest that I thought it would explode. She's the first girl that makes my knees week and sends tingles through my body.