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Always Read the Fine Print

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Kay tossed the Fantasy Land INC folder on the coffee table and flopped into the couch with a groan.

"Am I cursed? I think I'm cursed," she mumbled into the cushions. The 'interview' portion, if she could call it that, was odd, but it wasn't the cluster muck up she managed on the job assessment. What the hell was that job assessment? Was there an info-graphic or something in the welcome folder that secretly held all the answers? Kay lifted her head and slapped her hand behind her until her fingers touched the folder.

Inside, there were two pamphlets and a copy of the waiver she signed for Tiny, er Tyson by the front gate. That was it? Really? She snorted as she spread open the pamphlets, which were as frustratingly vague as the interview itself. There was a series of vintage illustrations, like a How to Guide from the fifties, with men in blue suits and women in pearls and pastel dresses. There were phrases like 'Fantasy Land INC is here to ensure everyone a comfortable, normal life.' Okay, that line sounded like it was lifted from a conversion camp pamphlet. Yikes. Kay remembered her interviewer's unsettling smile. We keep the world safe. Safe from what?

Kay rolled over to pull her cell out of her blazer pocket. She had snapped the picture as quickly and discreetly as she could, unable to dismiss the feeling of electronic eyes on her; just because she couldn't spot the security cameras didn't mean they weren't there. Instead she'd pretended to fiddle with her blazer while she snapped a picture of that glittering smear on the wall.

Despite her shaky hand, the picture was in decent focus, but the distance detracted from the image's clarity as she dragged her fingers outward on the screen. The result was a blurry blob, but she knew what she saw. Sort of. Okay, she had no idea what she saw, but dammit she saw something.

Who the hell could she tell about it? Sure Jess was an understanding roommate, and a lover of all things weird, but if Kay started spouting stories about blue butts flying through the air, anyone, even Jess, would wonder if she was high. She wondered, herself, if the lack of sleep and stress over her life situation ate away at her sanity.

Honestly, though, who hallucinated blue butts? That couldn't be normal?

If it wasn't a hallucination, what the hell did she actually see at Fantasy Land INC? Kay pressed her lips together. It didn't matter. She wouldn't be invited back there after that assessment. Her thumb hovered on the delete button.

Jess opened the front door.

Kay turned off the screen and tucked her phone under the cushion. She didn't know why she had the urge to hide it, but she didn't question it. Out of sight, out of mind, that age old adage. Jess held up two bags of their go to Chinese take out and kicked the door shut behind her.

"Tonight we eat our feelings," she announced.

"Oh no, what happened?" No way was Kay going to burden Jess with the weirdness of Fantasy Land INC. She would just have to keep job hunting. The street side mascot plan was still in play.

"Nothing," snarled Jess, as she ripped open a carton of shrimp fried rice. "Everything. My boss is an idiot. Why did I take this stupid job?"

"Because you're brilliant and they offered you salary pay?"

Jess shook her chopsticks at Kay. "Is salary worth being made to feel two inches tall? Maybe. Did I jump the gun taking this position? Also maybe. I mean, shit, I love libraries, I love the smell of books. But this place makes me want to set the whole building on fire and do one of those slow- motion walk outs wearing fancy sunglasses."

"And you never look back, that is key," said Kay. She opened the container of fried dumplings, little pillowy pockets of meaty goodness, as she turned over Jess's tirade in her mind. "Aside from 'burn this motha down', do you like the job?"

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