You're a Cute Banana | Dirk Gently

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Prompt #38
Requested by @Meow-sie1507

Summary: Todd is your best friend, and Dirk starts liking you. When he has to go undercover for a case, you end up going on a fake date with him...

QOTP: Which Dirk character is most like you?

Word Count: 2029

You've been Todd Brotzman's best friend since either of you can remember. You grew up together, and you're more like brother and sister than friends at this point.

So, when he first met Dirk, you met Dirk soon after.

"And this crazy guy just came in through your window?" you'd asked Todd, pointing at Dirk.

Todd shrugged. "Basically."

Dirk was appalled. "I'm not crazy."

"Oh, you have other words for that in England, don't you?" you asked sarcastically. "Bonkers, then."

He sighed. "Maybe a little bit."

You became involved with cases after that, though it was mostly Dirk and Todd going off alone. Dirk claimed the "Universe" said you weren't meant to be apart of it. At least, no more than in little ways. So, you just helped where you could.

Outside of cases, you still hung out with Todd a lot, and Dirk ended up spending more time with you.

He wasn't sure what it was about you, but he really seemed to like you. In what way, though, he was more reluctant to admit.

Finally, though, he had to come to his senses.

"I totally had my money on the creepy puppet guy," you say, referring to their last case. Dirk and Todd had just told you how it ended.

"I did, too," Todd admits. "Those puppets looked like they could literally come to life."

"I'm glad I didn't have to see them," you reply, sitting on Todd's couch next to Dirk.

Sirens light up in Dirk's brain, causing him to panic and only think about how close you are to him at that moment. You and Todd continue talking, but he hardly hears a word.

Finally, you move to go to the kitchen and Dirk calms. Todd gives him a weird look. "You okay?"

"Fine," Dirk says shortly; you're coming back from the kitchen.

Later, after you leave, Todd gets up and goes to the kitchen.

Dirk stays on the couch and sighs. "I have a problem."

Todd seems mildly concerned. "Which is?"

"I like Y/N."

Todd chuckles. "Yeah, I figured."

Dirk sits up, turning to look at him. "You did?"

"Yeah. You make it kind of obvious."

Dirk internally panics. "Do you think she knows?"

Todd laughs. "Oh, no. She's completely oblivious."

Dirk relaxes, laying down on the couch and looking up at the ceiling. "So, what do I do?"

Todd shrugs. "Ask her out?"

"And what if she says no?"

"The world will keep spinning, and you'll still be completely alive."

Dirk sighs. "Well, it won't feel like it."

"Fine, don't ask her out. Just bottle up all of your feelings and never know if they're reciprocated or not."

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