Bitter Sweet Love. Part 2, Chapter 16.

531 9 3

Chapter 16

Johnny's Point Of View

Aude was a sweetheart, she extended her love to us instantly and I was grateful for that. The worst was over us now, Kira's parents were more rational than we could have ever even dreamed. I can only imagine, well I had a taste of such with  Paisley but she didn't go missing in action to another state. Gosh. I feel like a bad person now reflecting on it all, seems more horrible but I was just fulfilling Cameron's wish can I be hated for that? I suppose I can but it seemed logical at the time. Fucking Cameron, I was growing to really like that kid. They say everything happens for a reason, well I can't wait to figure out what the reason for this was.

"Johnny, honey?", Aude's thick Southern voice swam into the living room where I was fixated out the window followed by gentle footsteps. "Hey", she smiled at me as she entered the room wiping her hands in a tea towel and  turned to respond with a less enthusiastic smile.

"Hey Aude. How are you?", I asked politely dumbfounded by my ability to stay so grounded and calm given the situation on my unreliable moods.

"Feeling good now you guys are here safe. You?", She almost sighed. I had forgotten Aude must also have strong emotions swimming through her given her nephew, he own issues and now us on her doorstep. It is easy to become consumed with your own problems and not think of others and I hated that. I wanted to be empathetic to all given many turned their backs on me over the years.

"I'm feeling relieved if I am to be honest. Kira's parents have not sent out a search party. They set out terms and conditions and timelines she has to adhere to, which sounds reasonable considering. It is so easy to forget she is still a minor Aude.", I felt that dreaded fear, anger and worry rising in me like a bubble of hot lava. Like a bubble of hot lava if I let it out it would keep on flowing and I had people relying on me. Aude began to reply but her words missed my ear and swam around me. "Aude I do not mean to be rude but can we talk about this another time?" She nodded kindly and understanding and turned on her heel and floated back into the kitchen. Deep breaths in and out and in and out. This shit does not work for me. I pulled my reluctant hands from my pockets and headed for the front door, with a swift turn of a handle I was greeted by the warm fresh air of Texas and I dove into it head first. I walked around the house and felt eyes burning into me and to my right peering through her window was Kira smiling like she always did. I smiled back of course. I liked Kira even when she was an annoying moody girl, I loved her now she was a young woman, I pitied her also which I know is not a good emotion to relate with love but how could you not pity that 17 year old girl, full of life, literally, yet so alone and torn up by said life already? Her mouth was moving but unlike the paper thin windows back in Boston the windows in this house were thick and apparently 99% sounds proof. I shook my head and laughed and she kept moving her mouth. 

"I can't hear you!", I shouted and she shook her head to tell me she couldn't hear me and I raised my eyebrow to her and it dawned on her she couldn't hear me and I couldn't here her. She gave a dramatic face-palm and dissipated from the window. Within 2 minutes she was behind me.

"You couldn't hear me could you?", She shyly asked and a small laugh.

"Took you long enough to figure that one out!",  I laughed back at her. Her bashful smile warmed my heat. As much as I fought it she had a hold on me. I mourned Cameron as I thought that and felt a betrayal, I also thought of Milo and what he must feel about all this. I must have let this creep onto my face because Kira reached out to me and gently touched my arm.

"Are you OK? You look like your in pain", She said concern laced in her words. Not wanting to hurt her I quickly replied.

"Just a little headache.  Thanks though", I winced at her light touch still resting on my am and she pulled it away,  I knew she was afraid she was crossing boundaries with me but she did not know I wanted her to cross them to make me feel like it was OK for me to feel like this. To feel a love, a hate and remorse all at once. Part of me wanted her to walk me through it all and make me better and the other half wanted her to dissapear and take away these feeling with her.

"Shall we explore the farm a little?", She said warmly sounding excited. I nodded and we headed down the farm together, arms swinging lonely by our sides. No-one wanting to cross no mans land. Her hair was shining auburn in the sun and she looked like herself from behind but from the side as her stomach grew I felt it a swift reminder to know my place. She would turn randomly and just smile at me and the feelings that blossomed in the depths of my stomach made me want to grab her hand and tell her how I felt and show her how I felt but I could not do that because she was not really mine. As we approached the horse stables Kiras eyes lit up like a little girls would. Her step grew quicker and her strides longer and I had to keep up with her. 6 horse boxes where visible along the line and 3 horse of different colors and breed I would assume neighed happily and poked their heads over their gates as we neared. 

" Johnny this is amazing!", She grinned, a true happy grin. I was happy this was the right choice I made, the right choice Cameron made. He knew she would love it here. I remember he said to me 'Man, Kira is going to love all the animals. I wish I could be there to see that light in her eyes, to feel the love in her voice. Man, I am jealous of you getting that with  Kira. But if anyone was to get that I would want it to be you' His toothy smile burned into my brain. 

"I know", I replied as she extended her hand to the most friendly looking horse of the bunch a large brown and white horse with a beautiful long mane. He responded as friendly as he appeared to be lowering his head to her and she gently rubbed above his nose.

"Come on Johnny, your so slow!", She teased. I was only a few steps away but I had taken my time. I took a few longer strides and I stood face to face with the horse, Kira moved her hand and signaled for me to rub when she had just finished. His tight coat felt coarse in a soothing way on my hand and I felt the anti-depressing nature of being around animals kicking in. "I think I am really going to like it here", she said and her tone was so genuine I knew it was true.  We were going to enjoy it here. Kira reached her hand up-to where mine was rested on the horses snout and she grasped it gently and pulled my hand down she took to lame steps towards me and I leaned down and kissed her full on the lips and I felt that love and passion for this forbidden fruit ignite between us. She reached her free hand into my too long hair and pulled me closer. I kissed her for what seemed like only a second before I broke free.

"We really should talk about this, OK?", I said not letting go of her hand to let her know I was not rejecting her but I did not want her to feel too at home before we even figured out was home was for us. She nodded and her grip on my hand tightened a little. I knew from that moment we would do this together.

Bitter Sweet LoveRead this story for FREE!