Fresh Start

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I entered the room with a heavy heart, I saw the man I despised all these years. The first man who broke my heart, the one who's supposed to protect me & not hurt me. I hate him with every living cell in my body yet love him just as much at the same time. No matter how much I despised him or maybe try to, I'd be lying when I say I don't miss him. I approached his bed with tears flooding my eyes. I sat at the chair near his bed. I gazed at him, he looks.... old. I examined his pale face, his looks changed a lot there's not a hint of a brutal and terrifying man I used to know. He seems frail and vulnerable, I knew from this very moment I've already forgiven him.

"Dad....." I choked. " I forgive you for all the pain you've caused us. I forgive you for making us despise you. I forgive you for everything you've done and haven't done. Dad, I'm so sorry for abandoning you, sorry that we're not there when you needed us.." I facepalmed while crying my heart out, I was sobbing really hard when I suddenly felt slender hands laid on my shoulder I looked up and my eyes connected with the wrinkled and dull eyes of the man I abhor and love. "Dad..." I said in an inaudible voice.

"Allison, is that really you?"

"Yes dad, it's me, it's Alice."

"Oh my dear daughter, my Allison, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. The decisions you've made weren't wrong, I pushed you both away. You proved that you're strong, you faced the world alone and brave in which I should've guided and protected you. However, I didn't do my responsibilities to you and your brother. I'm a coward! When you're mother died I got scared, I don't want to face the world without her in it. I was so lost, I didn't know what to do. She was the love of my life. I have always blamed myself. That if I only have the money, I was able to give her the life she deserves, the life all of you deserved. I should have been able to afford her medications. I failed her, I failed you and your brother. " My father and I cried brokenly. I finally understood.

"It's not your fault, dad. She kept her condition a secret and when we found out it's too late. I know deep in my heart she's been happy, she loved you so much. For her, or for us it's not money that matters but the love & care we have for each other. It's family that matters to her."I hiccupped. "Dad, we can't change what happened in the past. Then again it's already in the past so that's where we should let it be, let's leave it all behind. Let's fix our family again, Joseph, me and you. I know wherever mom is now that's what she would want too. Let's start again, we have to let go of everything that keeps us stuck on yesterday in order to move forward. Let's build our happy family again dad." I believe that when one chapter of the book ends it doesn't mean that the whole story ends instead you have to leave it behind and initiate to the next chapter. It bears a resemblance to life no matter how many times we get knocked-up doesn't mean we already lose the battle, we have to get up and fight as long as we're alive the battle is not over, we just have to be strong.

"Really, Allison? You're forgiving me and willing to start all over again after everything I've done?"

"Yes, I'm willing to take the risk..."

"Guess, I'm willing to take the risk too." My head turned to my brother whose standing on the doorstep wiping his eyes. He strolled to my direction before speaking. "You're right sissy, we have to learn how to forgive & forget. Dad, it's true it's not too late for us to start a new life." I smiled at him. I looked heavenward thanking God for this moment. A moment I never thought would happen.

After one week at the hospital the doctor let my father go home..
I stood outside scrutinizing our old house, our home. The place I never thought I'll ever set foot again, the place where my childhood memories were built, good and bad. Oh, how I missed this place, I thought to myself. I breathed the fresh air and looked up at the bright blue sky. Mom.... we missed you. Wherever you are right now, I hope you are truly happy because you deserve to be happy, if ever you could see us right now I want you to know that I will keep the three of us together as long as I live because I know that's what you want, I promise that I will take care of dad and Joseph at any cost.

Just then I remembered Mr. Monterro's offer, a part of me starts to approve but I'll think about it more. I heave a sigh before going inside. I'll never stop thanking God for this blessing.

Finally... I am home.



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