Not So Unwilling: Chapter Four

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<P>Here's chappy four!</P>



<P class=MsoNormal>Chapter Four</P>

<P class=MsoNormal> </P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                I picked up John from practice and made a mental note to get a car freshener because; damn, did that kid really stink. I tried my best not to breath as we drove from Saint Katherine's and back home.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                The entire ride home I was anxious and strung high from the information my mother had given me that myy dad was going to be home.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                My dad was a car parts salesman and he traveled all the time to different companies all over the United States selling car parts, so he wasn't home a lot. And the days he was home, were complete hell. My dad was severely bipolar. His mood changed every couple minutes. One second we would be sitting at the dinner table eating and talking about how our day went when all of a sudden, he would slam his fists on the table and start yelling over some random thing, cursing and hitting, and then he would leave and go outside to the garage and drink a case of beer while watching whatever sports were on at the time. It was crazy. He was crazy.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                My dad was the kind of bipolar person that needed serious medications to regulate their moods for the well-being of themselves and every one around them. My dad refused to get help. Whenever one of us told him that he needed serious medical help, his outbursts would get that much worse and life was even more of a living hell.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                My childhood consisted of beatings almost every day and constant screaming and yelling and banging, not the best memories for a kid to have. But, as I got older I learned that my dad had a serious mental disorder and that it really wasn't his fault when he would go off the wall. I learned to always be on my tippie-toes when I was around him and he never really got angry at me anymore. However, my brothers were another issue. They were constantly pulling his leg and causing fights. They were boys and boys sometimes take longer to learn things and mature.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                I pulled into our neighborhood and crossed my fingers that he wasn't at the house yet. My heart fell when I saw his huge truck in the driveway. I saw John tense up out of the corner of my eye. "Dad's home," he whispered staring blankly the big truck.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                "Yeah, and listen to me, John, when I tell you this," I said sternly shutting off my car and shifting in my seat so I was facing him, "I don't want you getting him mad. Don't talk unless you are asked a question. Make your answers short and sweet. Don't say anything sarcastic and make sure that when you chew, you chew with your mouth closed and slowly. Keep your elbows off the table. And when he does get mad, don't test him. Oh God, please don't test him, John, unless you want to go to school with a black eye and have him forbid you from playing football, don't test him."</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                John nodded and I patted him on the head. "Pray to God, John, that tonight isn't a bad one."</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                John smiled at me. "It always blows over, Jazz, I wouldn't worry about it."</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                I smiled back at John and we got out of the car. Jack took his reeking gear out of the backseat and we walked up to the garage. We walked into the door and John went upstairs to put away his gear and take a quick shower before dinner.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                My mom was standing in front of the stove stirring a big pot with a cooking spoon as she examined a cook book. She had a glob of tomato sauce on her face and I wiped it off with my thumb. "How is he?" I whispered into her ear only loud enough so she could hear me.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                "He's in a good mood because he made a big deal with GM," she whispered back with a smile.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                I sighed in relief. "Good. I'll go say hi to him." I kissed my mom on the cheek and walked down the stairs to the basement where my dad was lounging on the couch watching a baseball game.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                "Hey, Dad," I said coming to sit next to him on the couch.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                He didn't move his eyes from the TV and just muttered a, hey. I watched the rest of the game with him until mom called that dinner was ready. He shut off the TV and I followed him up the stairs to the kitchen where my mom was lighting a candle in the center of the dinner table. Frank and John came downstairs. John had wet hair from his shower and Frank had a worried expression on his face. We all sat down at the table: my mom and dad at each end and me and Frank on one side and John on the other. We said prayers and dug into our food. My mom had made spaghetti and meatballs and Tuscan vegetables. It smelled delicious and tasted it to.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                "So, Michael, tell us about the deal that you made with GM," said my mom trying to start happy conversation.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                My dad smiled widely. "So we went down to the GM office building down in New Hampshire and we were trying to get them to buy a half a million brake pads from us and they just would not accept. All the guys had tried their hardest to convince them and we were about to just give up and leave, when I ran into the president of the company. We went to dinner at this expensive restaurant and after three hours of talking over our New York strips, he accepted and signed the contract. My boss was so happy with me when we got back. I think I'm in the running for a big promotion soon," he said, the smile remaining on his face during the entire conversation.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                "Wow, that's wonderful, Dad," I said. My mom and brothers also said their congratulations and we went back to eating.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                All of a sudden, my dad looked up and began to chew his spaghetti very slowly and the space between his eyebrows scrunched up. "Rosa, am I tasting parmesan cheese in this spaghetti or is it just me," he asked.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                My jaw locked tight and I made eye contact with John who was sitting right across from me. He was frozen. I was frozen.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                <I>Please, say no, please, say no, please, say no</I>, I whispered in my head.</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                "Oh, yes, I tried this new recipe and..."</P>

<P class=MsoNormal>                My dad's plate went flying across the room and smashed against the wall causing a huge shattering sound and making the pristine white wall covered in red sauce and dripping spaghetti before my mom could even finish her sentence. </P>

<P class=MsoNormal>And then it began...</P>

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