FIFTY-FOUR - What Rhymes with Granola?

232 39 41

Not much has been going on the past couple of days. We're stockpiling building material for the barn, and visiting the llamas down the road on a regular basis.

Dad is on the fence about the puppy, but I'm working on it. My mantra, as of late, is, "Day by Day." Very Zen.

On another note, Ivy and I had a pretty hot make out sesh yesterday. I put my hand up her shirt (the back of her shirt), but when I tried to move it around to the front, she slapped it and told me to get a grip and stop allowing my hormones to control my life. I asked her about her hormones, and said, did she have to control them, too, or was she just naturally undersexed? That's when she picked up her phone and started watching YouTube videos of hamsters wearing ballet outfits. I'm still trying to figure out what I did wrong. 

Anyway, I didn't feel like doing homework tonight so I wrote a poem. I think it's quite good, actually. Here it is:

JUST ANOTHER DAY

Dad's feeling better, and for now, Norm's OK

Ivy is volatile, but that's just her way

Misty continues to fuss with the llamas

But lately there hasn't been any weird drama

Mom called to say that she's given up dairy

And also, she's taking the ten o'clock ferry

She's coming with Jett, who just got a tattoo

I said, Oh, great, but it isn't good news!

I want to see Mom, but it's  Jett who's the trouble

(And why does he have that dumb five o'clock stubble?)

But Peterson's back, in all of his glory

So now he can chill and get on with his story

And so I am finished my entry in rhyme

It seemed a good thing to do with my time

I realize how brilliant I actually am

But I'm stopping right now for some rye toast and jam

                                                                                                                                             - By Myles Cook, 2019

P.S. (I didn't really have toast and jam; I had a bowl of granola with some chocolate chips on it. But I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with granola, except canola, which is a sub par cooking oil, so that was no good. Oh, and Ebola, as in the virus, but that would have been just a little too dark.)

THE PECULIAR LANGUAGE OF LLAMASWhere stories live. Discover now