It's been a week Danny, just talk to him.
Leah's words played over in my head on a loop, blaring louder each time I caught a glimpse of Sawyer at school or found myself staring at his contact information in my phone. It should have been easy to talk to him. But the more I realized how much I cared about him the harder it became to make a move. It was like every time I had the chance to make things right my entire body froze and words turned to mush in my mouth.
"So have you decided if you're going on the senior camping trip?" Emily nudged me in the side in order to get my attention.
The senior camping trip—I'd almost forgot about it. Every year the graduating class would turn senior skip day into a weekend-long camping event. Everyone would pack up their cars with camping equipment and skip on a Friday so they could spend all weekend getting drunk in the woods. I'd been looking forward to skip day since I was a freshmen. Back then I always pictured myself spending a perfect weekend with Jack. Now the thought made me want to vomit.
"I think I'm going to stay home and catch up on some homework."
Porter, who was sitting across the kitchen table from me, looked up in anticipation. I'm sure he'd been planning to skip the whole thing and was surprised to find I was as well.
Beside him Ty rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me you both are planning to stay home and nerd out?" he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders."I have some makeup work to do." I knew it was a lie. Everyone knew it was a lie. But it didn't stop the words from leaving my mouth.
Ty glanced at Porter. "And you?"
Porter gave Ty a regretful smile. "Camping isn't really my thing..."
"Boo you guys suck," Emily chimed in. "We've been looking forward to this for years! It's going to be fun and you both are going to regret not going."
I considered her words, knowing full well she might be right. I also knew that Jack and Austin would be attending, and that seeing them would ruin the entire trip. And not just that, but I still had to talk to Sawyer. I couldn't spend the whole weekend out in the woods knowing I'd only be thinking about him. I'd be far too distracted to have any fun.
"I'll go if you guys help me set up the tent," Porter offered.
Ty and Emily looked at me expectantly, as if Porter's compromise would change my mind. "Sorry guys I think I'm just going to stay home," I told them. "You guys should get going though. My mom told me she wanted one day of peace and quiet without you all loitering in our kitchen."
I knew it was a stupid excuse to get rid of them but I wasn't up for a Ty or Emily guilt trip.
"But what else would we do after school?" said Ty, his voice sounding innocent but the look on his face far from it.
Emily stood up and waited for Ty to follow. "We can go to my place," she assured him, glancing back at Porter as he gathered his things. "And we can give Porter a ride home."
"Well I wasn't going to walk," he muttered under his breath.
Once everyone had gathered their things I let them out the front door. I did my best to avoid Ty's prying glance on the way out. Maybe if it had just been us I would have talked about things— talked about Sawyer. But I was sick of having all of my business out in the open.
After Ty's car was out of sight I set off to find Leah, first checking the living room and then her bedroom. We almost crashed into each other as she was leaving her room and she immediately held a finger up to her lips.