XXI

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Biting her nail Delilah watched her mother drink a glass of water. She threw her head back like it was the finest of alcohols and then topped it off with some grapes that she chewed on slowly.

The noises of children and adults screaming from the water slide behind them filled the air until she walked forward and music played from the bar. Clearing her throat she pulled out the stool next to her mother and sat down slowly trying to avoid eye contact.

Glancing over Scarlet put another grape in her mouth. When the younger girl didn't say anything she turned back to her bowl of fruit.

"I talked to dad."

Raising an eyebrow the blonde waited for her to continue.

"I'm so sorry for how horrible I've been."

Crunching on her fruit Scarlet turned towards her and put her hand on her leg. "I know I haven't been the best mom you have nothing to apologize for."

"No I do." Delilah whispered taking a napkin from the bartender. "I-" she shook her head. "I never knew about dads addiction and I've been so selfish." Wiping her eyes the dirty blonde ran her hand through her hair. "But he told me about the divorce and the conversation you two had."

Scarlet bit the inside of her cheek and stayed quite.

"I was so mad when he told me you cheated too." She shook her head and traced her finger on the humid table. "It's like I couldn't even comprehend that he did the same thing."

They sat silently for a moment and watched children jump into the pool making water splash everywhere.

"Then he said you were in love."

Scarlet looked back at her with her blue eyes.

"It didn't hit me until then that you have never felt that before." Delilah smiled and finally looked in her moms eyes. "I always thought my childhood was miserable but it wasn't because you made me feel that way it was because that's how you felt."

Looking down at her hands that still rested on her daughters leg Scarlet tried to think of what to say.

"You really do love her don't you?"

She only nodded.

Her daughter smiled reassuringly and lifted her head up with her fingers, "Mom you have to keep her."

"I want to." Scarlet finally spoke. "But I don't know how our relationship can progress. She's so young."

"Age doesn't matter mom."

"It does." She looked at her water that sweated down the side of the glass. "I've never had a job before. How can I provide a good life for her? she's going to change so much and I'm so afraid of loosing her." She looked out at the water and tapped her finger on the bar nervously. "I'm old and worn. She might want something totally different in a few years."

"You have met her right?" She smiled. "She's the sweetest girl ever."

"I'm glad you think so, she can be pretty vicious."

Delilah laughed. "You need someone to put you in you're place."

Scarlet smiled but slowly let it fade, "She made you happy to?"

She shrugged, "I'm not in as deep as you are. I'll get over it." She bit her lip and watched Juliet's mother walk across the other side. She had no idea what was going on. "You and dad aren't going to split everything?" She whispered.

"He can have it all." Scarlet reasoned. "I don't want any of it."

They both took a drink at the same time and looked out at the dark blue sea.

"I'm so proud of you for making something for yourself."

Delilah smiled and twirled her straw. "Are you going to tell her about the kid thing?"

"I don't know how." She shook her head. "I don't know what she wants with her job, I don't know what she wants family wise. I don't know her political options and religious thoughts. We've had to hide so much that I don't even know her favorite color. That really scares me"

"Well I imagine if you two fight the make up sex will be worth it."

Scarlet rolled her eyes and covered her mouth so she wouldn't smile.

"I'm serious mom, she has an ass for days."

"You would know."

"I mean when she walks you can just see-"

"That's enough." Scarlet finally broke down and laughed. The two of them enjoying the shade from the clouds that came for a short time.

"You know I don't think we can ever be mother and daughter." Delilah whispered taking a deep breathe. "We've really fucked each other up honestly."

"Can't disagree there."

She nodded, "I do think we can be best friends though."

Scarlet smiled and reached toward hugging her daughter tightly, "I'd love that."

Rubbing her back as she burrowed her face near her moms hair Delilah tried not crying. "I don't know what you want to do but there's a job at the hospital that May suite you."

Scarlet raised her eyebrow and ate her last grape. "I don't really have a choice."

"And if you'd like you could stay with me in my apartment for a while."

"I thought you were buying a house." Her mother joked.

She rolled her eyes, "Ya right, I have so much debt. That's all talk."

Scarlet bit her lip carefully as she watched Juliet's mother still walking around hopelessly as she searched for faces she knew. "I don't know how bad it will be for Juliet when her parents find out."

Delilah waved and smiled as the woman spotted them and started jogging over. "Just have a game plan, I think it'll be ok."

Nodding Scarlet watched Delilah hug her before she turned towards her and she had to throw on her fake smile.

As she hugged her the blonde closed her eyes and wondered how this now peppy woman would react knowing her daughter was with someone her own age. And that she was on a boat with said person for a whole week. She probably wouldn't be so eager to hug her again that's for sure.

*unedited.*

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