Chapter Seventeen-"Well that's how I roll"

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“Okay,” I answered.

My mother smiled, smoothed down my blonde hair and replied, “I’m sure it will make you happy.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Meaning?”

My mother stood up and smiled, heading out my bedroom door, “You’ll see Viv, if you need anything, call me?”

As soon as my mother was out of the door, my eyes fell onto the white envelope with a frown. My nerves were speeding like I had just run a marathon and lost. It felt like I was about to open Pandora’s Box and unleash a catastrophe. Everything depended solely on the fact that if I opened this envelope, then I probably was going to finally have contact with my non-existent father in almost eighteen years. With a deep breath, I fumbled with the envelope and opened it.

I glanced inside the envelope and pulled out a folded page. Mustering up all my courage, I opened the page and began to read:

Dear Vivienne

 

It must be strange, but how would I say this to you if I could see you right now? I am your father. I know, your mother’s probably told you on how not to trust me and that I would run away from you but if you’re reading this right now, then you must know that even your mother thinks that I’m not that bad of an influence to you.

You see, ever since I learnt about your birth, the only thing I could think about was ‘What will I do?’ I admit, it was a cowardly thing to run from your mother and then to find out that her parents disowned her after learning she was pregnant, well I felt like a right a**. You see, after I learnt that your mother had been disowned, I tried finding her, but it took me about two years until her family finally told me anything about her whereabouts and by then, you were already born.

I always wondered what it would have been if I could have married your mother and raised you as my own child like I should have done, but then something amazing happened. It was fate I suppose or maybe it was destiny that I met your mother again, a year ago. I was so scared, I didn’t know whether I should have spoken to her or not but for once I decided to do the right thing.

The right thing Vivienne was to meet you on your eighteenth birthday.

I understand, after all these years of never speaking to me or knowing where I lived, you would not want to meet me, but your mother told me about something that is very important to you and I would love to help in every way possible.

In the envelope is a cheque to pay for your Venice trip and there’s a little extra, for spending. Please accept this as part of my apology for being absent in your life for all this time. Vivienne, you must know how much I hate myself for not sticking around when I had the chance, to meet my own daughter when she grew up and went through her life with no one to protect her. I am deeply sorry…

 

Your father

Edward Williams

 

I felt tears stinging at my eyes as I reached into the envelope with shaking fingers. Sure enough there was a cheque in there, written for the exact amount for the Venice trip with more than enough spending money for both the Paris and Venice trip combined. I swallowed a lump and placed everything back into the envelope and began to make my way to the kitchen where my mother was, stirring a pot in concentration. I licked my dry lips and spoke finally.

“Mum,” I called.

My mother stilled before she turned to face me with a sad smile, “You read the letter?”

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