Chapter 60

30 4 0

Abel and I were on a break in LA this week but I was recording. When I was in the studio I get a text from Chase,
C- u wanna come over later and meet my daughter?
I think for a second and hesitate. But decide it would be fine,
L-sure, I'll be there in a few hours
I put my phone on sleep and text Abel I was going to a friends house and he says okay. When I'm done recording I go to the address Chase gives me and pull up to an apartment building. I go up to it and press the buzzer that said Stogel, "hello?" "Hey Chase it's Lana." I say, "come on up." He says as the door buzzed. I open it and head upstairs to the third floor and knock on the door, "hey baby." Chase says pulling me into a hug and then moving aside to let me in, "daddy who is it?" A young girl about 8 comes in, "Cassie this is my friend Lana, Lana this is my daughter Cassie." He says to me. I smile, "nice to meet you." I say to her, "hi." She says shyly, "you know daddy's told me a lot about you." I tell her. Her face lights up a bit, "really?" I nod smiling, "yeah he adores you sweetie." I say to her smiling. We eat dinner together and Cassie tells me about herself. When we're done it's about time for Cassie to go to bed, "Lana are you gonna come over again?" She asks me, "if you'll have me again." I say to her smiling, "yay!" She says happily. Chase brings her to bed and then comes back into the living room a few minutes later, "she loves you." He says to me smiling, "I'm glad I could make a good impression." I say smiling, "you ready to go?" He asks me. I nod and we go to Chase's car, we're going to a club, I suggested this to Chase earlier. When we get there we're able to skip the line and go in after I show the bouncers my ID. We get a table and order drinks, "have you been here before?" Chase asked me over the music, "yeah a bunch of times." I say to him, "have you?" Chase shakes his head no and I smile at him, "let me give you the full tour then." I say getting up and grabbing his hand and pulling him to the dance floor, "Lana," "come on Chase just dance with me." I say to him smiling. We start to dance together casually until the song ends, "you ready for the next part of the tour?" I ask him. He nods and I pull him to the VIP room, "this is where all the stars hang out, and party." I say sitting down next to Tove Lo. "Lana I haven't seen you here in a while." She states, "yeah I know, I've been on tour." "Oh cool." "This is my friend Chase, Chase this is Tove Lo." "Nice to meet you, I love your music." He says to her, "thanks, you guys want smokes?" She asked, "what is it?" "Crack." "I'll take one." I say, "I will too." Chase says leaning forward. We both take a drag and I feel the high immediately smiling to myself, "Tove, do you have any coke?" I ask her. She smirks, "hell yeah I do." She says smirking. She sets up the lines on the table and I grab a dollar bill from my wallet rolling it and getting ready to lsnort some lines, "you gonna have some baby?" I ask Chase, "one of us has to drive Lana." I smirk and nod but eagerly snort up the coke that was on the table with Tove. When we're done I ask Chase to go dancing again and he agrees and we go downstairs. We begin dancing together and I begin to grind against him, "Lana, you shouldn't do this..." he says to me. I smirk and put my arms around him pulling him closer to me, "relax Chase..." I mumble. His hands run down my body and rest on my waist. I feel my phone buzz and take it out of my pocket with a text from Abel,
A- come home soon Lizzy, I need u x
I left him on read and put my phone back in my pocket. Chase and I danced together for a little while longer and also got more drunk. We went outside and I feel myself get cold, "Chase, give me your jacket please." I say to him. He gives it to me as we get to his car and sit in the back. We both knew what we wanted. We make out for a good five minutes. I feel my phone buzz again as Chase begins to rub my clit,
A-missed out Lizzy, watched videos of u to get off.
4 minutes later,
Where r u babe I'm worried.
I roll my eyes slightly and return to kissing Chase, "m-maybe you should get back..." He says to me, "he's fine..." I mumbled placing my hand on Chase's bulge, "lana, I-I'm serious..." he mumbles as I rub his cock, "you want me to stop baby?" I ask him, "Lana, he-he loves you..." "I love him too..." I mumbled pulling at his pants, "then why are you doing this?" He asks me. I roll my eyes as I get on my knees, "if I knew why I wouldn't be here..." I say as I pull down his pants. I kiss the inside of his thighs but think of Abel causing me to stop, "i-I can't do this, y-you're right Chase..." I say pulling away from him. I love him so much and I need him. I miss him, "Chase I don't think we should see each other for a while..." I say to him. He nods and pulls up his pants going to the front seat, I stay in the back thinking about what I almost did to Abel again and take a swig of the beer I had in my hand. I have to stop I don't want to hurt him. Chase gets me to my house and I hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek, "text me and shit though, please." He says. I nod, "oh your jacket-" "keep it, Ive got hundreds like it." He says. I thank him and go back to the house. I take out my keys which I found hard with double vision and tried to find mine but end up dropping them, "fuck." I mumbled bending down and picking them up. I find the key again and go in locking the door behind me as I see the time is 2am. I look around and it's pitch black throughout the house. I find my way upstairs bumping into shit on the way and I finally get to Abel and i's room. I see him sleeping in our bed and I walk over trying to be quiet but probably failing. I sit on the bed placing my beer on the nightstand and taking off my high heels and Chase's jacket throwing them on the floor, "l-Lizzy?" I hear Abel mumble from behind me. I feel Abel stir and turn over to face me as I take off my dress, "w-where were you? Everything okay?" He asks me as I take out my earrings, "yeah..." I say to him. I get into bed and kiss Abel then kiss down his neck sucking and biting at his sensitive spots, "oh, Lizzy..." he mumbles placing his hands on my shoulders, "Lizzy I can't right now..." he mumbles, "don't worry about it..." I mumbled as I kiss down his v line. I feel him tremble slightly and I smirk, "y-you're loaded lizzy..." he mumbles as I pull down his boxers and rub his cock causing him to get hard, "just fucking trust me Tesfaye..." I mumble as I wrap my lips around his tip swirling my tongue around him, "oh god Lizzy..." he moans grabbing at the headboard. I smirk and then began bobbing my head and rub what I couldn't get of the base and balls, "Elizabeth..." he moans putting a hand in my hair and pushing me down causing me to gag, "fuck, such a slut for me Carmen..." he mumbles. He pulls me up by my hair and he begins to thrust into my mouth, "Lizzy, I'm gonna cum." He says. I moan on his cock and he buckled his hips twitching in my mouth and coming. I swallowed and pull off of him looking up at him. "W-where were you..?" He asked me breathlessly, "I went out with my friend." I mumble, "yeah okay..." He mumbles suspiciously, "was it Chase?" He asked me. I didn't respond, "Lana..." he mumbled, "Lana please talk to me..." Abel says to me. I turn to him and kiss him gently, his hand going to my cheek and deepening the kiss. I pulled away slightly from him and ran my hand against his beard trying to soothe him, "you never answer me good when you're fucked..." he mumbles pulling me against him, "I love you." I say to him, "I hate that I love you..." he mumbles. We cuddle until we fall asleep together.
I wake up to the smell of weed and get up confused. I hear voices coming from downstairs and feel confused but then feel nauseous. I run to the bathroom and throw up. I do two more times and wipe my mouth then washing it out.  I take a shower and get change then going downstairs and see Abel and some of his friends smoking weed, "good morning." I say to them, "hey babe." Abel says to me pulling me onto his lap, "isn't a little early for that?" I ask him taking the joint from his lips and putting it to my own and taking a drag. Abel laughs and pulls me against him then kissing the top of my ear before whispering, "you're one to talk baby girl..." I sigh and give him back the joint and we relax together and talked with his friends. I feel Abel rubbing my side and it only soothes me more. As I relax I try to think of what happened last night but it just all came back in flashes, I remembered being with Chase, and doing drugs with him, dancing with him, kissing him... "oh god..." I mumbled out, but I remembered coming home and being with Abel. Why do I do this to him I love him so much, "Lizzy?" "Hm?" "Can I talk to you upstairs?" He asked me. I nod and we head up Abel telling his friends to leave. I sit on the bed but Abel stays standing, "what's wrong?" I asked him, He goes to my side of the bed and picks up a jacket off the floor, "who's is this?" He asks me. I look away from him to the ground at my dress from last night, "what happened last night Lizzy?" Abel asks me seriously. I stay quiet, "did you get fucked up?" He asks me. I still stay quiet, "You don't need to answer that, I already know. What did you take Car?" He asks, "did he do it with you? Did you guys get fucked up together?" He asks. I look away from him still. I didn't want to see him like this. He thinks I fucked Chase, "Abel I," "what did you do with him Lizzy?" Abel asks me. He pushes me on the bed angrily, "I'm fucking sick of this Carmen! I just want, I want us to be together, I want to marry you Lizzy, but I don't know if that would ever happen because you can't keep it in your pants!" He yells at me, "baby-" "let me finish Elizabeth, do you know how many times you've hurt me?! I can't even fucking remember anymore! I don't even know why I still care about you!" He yells more causing me to start crying, "Abel, I-I didn't go through with it..." I whimper through tears, "what?!" He yells causing me to flinch, "Abel I was about to do shit with him but I couldn't, I didn't want to hurt you, I care about you baby I-" "you're fucking lying!" He yells at me, pushing me back down on the bed again, "a-Abel p-please I-I love you I didn't do anything to him," "h-how can I even trust you anymore..?" He says more to himself then to me, "all you've ever done is lie to me..." Abel mumbles, "I don't lie when I say I love you..." I say to him shakily, "I don't even think you're telling me the truth now Carmen." He says, "Abel..." "I'm fucking leaving Carmen, call me when you get your shit together." "Abel no please don't go-" "it's obvious you don't know who you want, I know you don't even know you love me, if you did you wouldn't have fucking cheated on me Lizzy." I feel tears streaming down my face and watch him leave, "fuck!" I scream angrily throwing the nearest thing that was around me, which happened to be my beer bottle from last night at the door. I hear it shatter and begin to cry.
-2 days later-
-Abel-
I go back to Lizzys house to get my stuff and see it's kinda trashed. Definitely from Lizzy, empty beer bottles and crumpled up papers everywhere, some needles on the tables accompanied by some cigarettes. I sigh and go to our room and pack my shit. I see Julius on the bed and grab his collar pulling him off and we go downstairs and I grab what's mine down there. I go into Carmen and i's music room and take my songs and whatever and I see her sleeping on her desk with needles and empty beer bottles around her. I put my stuff down and shake her gently, "Lana wake up." I say to her. She doesn't respond worrying me slightly, "Lana." I say again she doesn't wake up. I push her back and look at her, she was pale. I drop my shit and pulldown one of her sleeves feeling her pulse, it was really weak. I also see cuts on her wrists worrying me again, "Lizzy, baby, wake up, come on!" I yell at her, "Abel..." she mumbles confused, waking up, "fuck Elizabeth! You scared the shit outta me!" I say to her angrily, "why do you care anyway Tesfaye?" She asks me going back to writing, "This place looks like shit Lana." I say to her, "gee thanks." She mumbles. I turn to leave, "Abel." She says, "what?" "What can I do to make you stay..?" She mumbles getting up. "Giving a fuck about me." I say to her, "Abel I do." Then why are we so fucked up? Why do you keep going with other guys and getting fucked up? Lizzy I don't know what's going on!" I say to her "I'll stop Abel please...I-I just need your help..." I've heard this shit before, "I've been trying to help you Lizzy." I tell her, "you aren't helping yourself, Lizzy look around you, you're killing yourself." I say to her, "I want to be dead Abel...I don't have much to live for..." "yes you do-" "what do I have Abel? Music, you and Chuck, Chuck doesn't even need me anymore, she's all grown up and on her own, you don't need me either, you've actually done better without me-" "I just wanted you Carmen, when you were gone you were all I wanted-" "we both know I'd be better off dead Abel." she says to me looking straight into my eyes, "Lizzy no..." I say scared out of my mind. She looked so serious and it was scarring me, "Darren always said I was worthless, he was probably right." She says, "Lizzy stop." I hug her and hold her tightly, "Abel you were right to leave. I'm so fucked up..." she says beginning to cry, "I'm so sorry..." she mumbles hugging me tightly, "that night with Chase, I told him to stop talking to me for a while, I knew he was screwing me up Abel I didn't want to fuck up with you again." Carmen says to me. I believe her, "I'll stay...but please get help..." I say to her.
-Carmen-
"I don't need help Abel." I say to him, "babe you just told me you want to be dead, I don't want you to be that sad Lizzy." I sigh, "Abel I'll be fine..." I mumbled, "Elizabeth, you're a fucking alcoholic, you're depressed and you're a junkie. You need help baby." He says to me, "I'm not a fucking alcoholic or a junkie. I'm not poor." "Carmen, just because you've got Jack Daniels instead of Walmart liquor doesn't mean you're not an alcoholic." He says to me. I roll my eyes, "I'm fucking fine!" I yell at him, "If you tell me that one more time I'm fucking leaving." He says to me angrily. I let out an angry sigh and push Abel against the wall, "you're a fucking dick you know that Tesfaye?" I say looking into his eyes angrily. He flips us and pins my wrists above my head and kisses me, "then why do you want me to stay..." he whispers into my ear. I feel tears fall down my face and Abel kisses then away, "say it Carmen..." he whispers against my jaw, "I love you." I say to him as he lets go of my wrists and I put my arms around him and kiss him.

Wtf was this chapter lol

Carmen | Lana Del Rey x The Weekend |Read this story for FREE!