I'm fucked || Izuku Midoriya**

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a/n: angst again, mentions suicide. this request was fucked but hey, i don't judge


I stared at the white walls, the words ringing in my ears. Tears rolled down my cheeks as the doctor left me in the now cold bed, I heard the whispers of my peers and the doctor. The door slid open and they all walked in slowly, noticing the tears that were soaking the blanket. "H-hey, Y/N?" Deku said as he walked in front of the others, his voice was shaky. I looked down at my hands and smiled to myself, how could I be stupid enough to let myself do this.

I looked back up, but looking at them instead. "I'm fucked, you know that right?" My voice cracked as I tightened my grip on the blanket. "M-my legs, I.." I started to hyperventilate, but Izuku knew trying to touch me would make things worse. It took me a few minutes to gain control of my breath again, "I'll never be able to walk again. I'm useless now." I wanted to curl up in a ball. I couldn't even do that though, this time Deku reached out and hugged me.

Everyone sat staring at me, that had never seen me in this state before. They all knew me for trying to make sure everyone was safe and make sure everyone was happy, I had tried my hardest to keep everyone from panicking and not showing my fear. This, this was so different. One thing we all knew, all of us were thinking it at that moment. I would never be able to stay at UA, or become a hero. The thing I dedicated my life to, my one dream was snatched right from under me. I began to crumble under their pitful glares, "You aren't useless, you can still do so many things. Don't give up yet, it'll be okay. You're so strong, you can get through this." Izuku said, trying to reassure me. His grip was tight on me, he was trying to protect me from the painful truth.

I let out a raspy laugh, "Please don't lie to me, we all know I'll be removed from the hero course; maybe even UA. Aizawa and All Might have already stopped by twice." My class was shocked, normally in a situation like this, I would've agreed with him and tried to look on the bright side. No matter how hard I tried though, there was no bright side.

Izuku clung onto me, desperately trying to search for the right words. He knew deep down too that there was no chance in me staying at UA. I would most likely be sent to a regular high school. We all got pulled out the moment as Aizawa and All Might came in once again. Aizawa sighed and made his way to the end of my bed, All Might following him. "Fear not, I am here!" All Might said, even in his weak form he tried to cheer me up.

Aizawa glared at him and then looked at the class, "Leave, we have something to discuss and they'll you can come back in and comfort your friend." They all nodded, Izuku kissed my cheek before running out with the others. Aizawa looked back into my pleading eyes, "We tried our best to fight around this, we've looked at all our options. I'm sorry, but we have no other choice but to remove you from the hero course. If you want to move to a different department in UA, you can choose any."

I smiled weakly, I nodded and waited till they left. People flooded back in, I turned to them. "I'm removed from the hero course, I have the choice to switch departments but other than that I'm being kicked out of UA." I looked at Izuku, "I'm sorry I let this happen." I clutched something tightly in my hand. When the doctor walked by earlier, I stole morphine. I didn't want to do it in front of them, but it had to be done. I prayed this was enough dosage on top of all the pain killers I had taken earlier today. "Hey," I mumbled and looked down, "You guys have to take care of each other. I can't hold you all together anymore. Deku, I'm counting on you to help them stay positive. Please." I said as I met with Izuku's eyes.

Izuku shook his head, "No, no. You're gonna stay with us, you're not leaving. I won't let them force you out of the hero course, you worked so hard to get here. You sacrificed everything for those people! They can't kick you out after that, you're gonna become a hero!" His words sounded so sincere, I winced in pain as I jabbed myself in the arm. "What-What is that?" He asked, noticing the shot.

I gasped, "I-I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to go this way." I said, panicking. I dropped the shot and Izuku ran over to me, Tusyu and other people started to call for a doctor. "I'm sorry, I just wanted out of here. I'm sorry, please, I'm so sorry." I sobbed as Izuku quickly held onto me. I felt my eyelids grow heavy, I was getting tired. "I can't, I'm sorry. I love you." I said quickly and kissed Izuku before slipping into sleep.


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