Eleven // Everything I Didn't Say

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It's time.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't look fantastic.

Maybe I should keep these stylists around.

I walk into the private room that is set up for me to observe everyone at the event.

It's going well so far, even if I was a tad late.

All the special guests look amazing, and apparently, so does my art.

"Watch me schmooze." Ronaldo jumps out of his seat and walks into the event.

He starts talking to four women at a time.

He looks back at me and winks.

I stand up, smooth down my dress, and step out.

"Attention, ladies and gentlemen, welcome the beautifully talented artist and host of the night, Miss Caroline Masters!" Ronaldo announces.

I wave to everyone as they applaud me.

Then I see a face I know.

Make that, four.

I ignore them and start to socialize with an older looking woman.

"Caroline, this is breathtaking. How long have you been working on all of these?" She asks.

I know her.

She works for Pearl Hanson, one of New York's most innovative sculptors.

"Well, Cheryl, it's really a life's work. All of my pieces are inspired by things that I've experienced. It's all me, it's all real."

She smiles.

"Here's my card. I'll be in touch." She hands me a little white piece of paper and glides out.

I smile at the boys, who are all staring at me wide eyed, and walk away.

"Now, for our musical guests- 5 Seconds of Summer!" Ronaldo yells.

I whip around.

No, no, no.

They walk onto the small stage.

Damn it, Ronaldo.

"Hi! We're 5 Seconds of Summer!" Michael says.

"It an honor to be here tonight, really. Caroline is extremely talented." Luke says.

"We actually didn't plan for this song, but uh, this is Everything I Didn't Say." Calum looks directly at me.

My heart stops.

And Calum stares at me the whole time.

I can't take it.

I hurry into the private room.

When they're finally finished, I try to escape.

But Ashton catches me.

"Caro, please talk to him. He did that just for you. That came out of nowhere."

"I can't do it, Ashton. I can't pretend I don't care about the fact that I can't be with him. And I can't just be friends with him." I ramble.


"I'm not done. And he obviously doesn't care that much if he was all over another girl the other night."

"I can't speak for him, but that's usually how guys get over girls. Talk to him for my sake, please. Make him be nice to us again." He begs.

"Where is he?" I ask.

Ash shrugs.

"Good luck finding him."

I take my heels off and walk around the almost empty venue.

I find Luke and Michael, but no Calum.

I finally find him outside, smoking a cigarette.

This is new.

I sit on the ventilator next to him.

We don't say anything.

"Why are you so scared?" I ask quietly.

"I'm not scared of anything." Calum says.

"Yes, you are. Of commitment. All you do is sleep around and get drunk-"

"You don't know shit about me, princess." He laughs.

It scares me.

"But I do. I know a lot about you, Cal. And I know you're lying to yourself. Whether it's me or not, you need to find yourself before you can be with anyone. I think Ashton expected me to talk you into getting back together with me. But I won't do that. I just think we should stop seeing each other."

He starts coughing.

"If that's what you want." He says.

"Bye, Calum." I get up.

He laughs again.

"See you." He mumbles.

And with that, I'm gone.

And crying again.

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