trigger warning: mentions of domestic abuse
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my mum wasted tears on men who weren't worth crying over. her most recent boyfriend, mo (or mohammed as he made me address him even in the days before i left) was no different.
she met mo when she was in egypt visiting my grandma rita three months ago, and brought him back with her as a souvenir.
she was always bringing back men as souvenirs. especially of the brown variety. the more emotionally stunted the better.
men are best when they come from a background of oppression, she'd once said to me after taking far too much of her mood stabiliser medication.
a lie, maybe. definitely not reason she liked (brown) men - or at least the types that always seemed to find her. she liked them because of their big cocks and their rough sex and their internalised misogyny. she liked being treated like she was worthless.
and boy did mo do just that. (she was a pretty worthless mother too, if i'm giving an honest review.)
and while watching their back and forth and back and mo shoving her head through a glass table, was shitty i didn't mind too much. if being bashed against walls was what my mum was into, then who was i to stop her?
as long as it didn't bleed into my life/ and she didn't bleed all over me, then i could ignore the bruising and beating and the animalistic rage. i could ignore her muslim-brotherhood-reject of a boyfriend and how he fucked her over (and over again).
in other words, life was fine when mo and my mum where focused on ruining each other. and i was just a spectator.
a month and a half ago, when otto and i were finding our footing, i was also speaking to someone else on the side; a girl.
fiona? anna? maria? i cannot remember for the life of me what her name was.
but one day, when i thought mo and my mum were out she came over. for a little netflix and chill.
turns out mo was not out; he walked in on us. barged in, really.
morally superior mo.
mo with his internalised misogyny and untethered rage.
i had to leave. either that or become the collateral damage of an aspired suicide bomber.
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