Lovesick // John Wick

― 18. memories

                             WALKING INTO their house for the first time since the kidnapping; Kaitlyn freezes. She stands there in the front door feeling physically ill as memories come rushing back. Everything looks pristine though, no signs of a break in or the hit squad John killed. She is pale and clammy with her hands crossed around her body in a protective manner. With her voice stuck in her throat she's not able to call out to John as he easily goes inside leaving her behind. A sinking feeling of terror washes over her and weighs her down; panic starts to creep up into her head and makes her chest tighten with anxiety.

   "Katie?" John is a few steps into the open hall leading from the front door before he realizes she isn't right behind him.

   "J-John.." she chokes out, "I-I can't.." starting to take a few steps back out the door, she doesn't get far before John's by her side instantly, wrapping his arms around her tiny body. It's like he's trying to hide her from seeing anything that can bring back bad memories.

   "I can carry you up to bed if you want?"

   She nods against his chest eagerly, liking that idea. Her eyes are squeezed tight as he lifts her up bridal style, ignoring the continued pain he's feels from his wounds. He hates how light she feels, it's obvious she lost weight. There's so many questions of her health he's itching to ask but he knows better right now.

   John is careful as he heads up to their bedroom, making sure she's shielded from anything she doesn't want to see. Because of who he is, his past, tough masculinity— all of it— being here doesn't phase him. He can compartmentalize easily, not let a job or bad night get to him. However, Kaitlyn isn't like that. He should have known better.

   It's been awhile since either of them stepped foot in the large open room. The white bed sits centered on the wall, tables on either side. Picture frames from their wedding and other memories are scattered throughout, it's a place of joy. A place of serenity and love between the two of them. It feels like a sanctuary from the craziness of the last week.

   John sets Kaitlyn down on top of the blankets and he hopes being in their bedroom will make her feel better. There's never been anything but love in here, "can I get anything for you?"

   "No.. no, you should just stay with me," she pats the spot next to her, "you're the one who is actually hurt. Can I do anything?"

   "Shouldn't I be asking you that?" he's standing there unmoving and awkward; his strong height not helping. John has never had to help someone else through something like this; he's never even had to pick up his own pieces before. He's going to have to help Kaitlyn but he doesn't know where to start.

   "Why?" she looks up at him confused until he realizes what he means, "oh."

   "Yeah." he says deeply, "sorry."