Loving But Letting Go

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"Travis please. I beg you. Do you not trust me?" Scar's voice broke in the end. He feared the day when he will know the truth he wanted to hide. He wanted to hide the truth with his love. But....it didn't work.

Scar wanted to show him, how much he loved him and no, his feeling didn't come as a result of guiltiness. He didn't know, where this feeling came from. But yet it was so strong. He stood there, holding on to the hinge of Travis' door.

Travis clutched onto the sheets tightly, his knuckles turning white. His eyes are already red and puffy from crying too much, and his lips swollen-he was biting it to ease his pain. He was ready to believe that Scar was innocent but Zach's words did make sense. He was vexed, in a dilemma-whether he should follow his heart and let Scar embrace him or his brain which screamed to let him go. But still, he trusted Scar. Still, he believed that maybe, maybe what Zach said was totally a big, fat lie. With wobbling legs, he walked towards his door and slid down its woody frame. He could hear Scar's deep breaths from the other side, and occasional hiccups accompanied by sniffs. As if sensing his presence Scar perked up, and whispered,

"I love you. I'm sorry. I love you. I can't help it. I'm sorry. But I love you. Please let me in. I love you Mey, I love you so much. Please don't let me go. Please don't. Mey...."

Scar's body was forced inside as the door opened abruptly. Travis decided to finally. But fuck if he knew anything to say. He opened his mouth to get out some words, but he stilled.

Travis just sat there, his face showing no emotions, and his body seeming like a chunk of dry ice. It hurt Scar, as if someone just tore out his heart and crushed it. Moving his body, and dragging towards Travis, and let himself fall on Travis. Travis didn't hug him back like usual, he didn't entwine his body with his like usual. And worst, he didn't look at him.

"Hey look at me. Mey please. Hey." He begged. "Won't you let me hold you? Like always? Hey. Mey, you know right? I love you. You know I do. So much Mey. Please hold me. Like you always do. Depend on me. Hold me. Please. Just don't turn away. Please."

But Travis' eyes, not for once, fell on him. Travis handed over a crumbled paper mixed with his sweat for holding it too tightly.

Leave.

It said.

Without a word, Travis added, scribbling down.

And don't come back.

And just like usual, a much smaller i love you in the bottom corner.

Scar felt like pulling him in his arms and kiss his worries away. Rewind time, and make it right. Because what hurt him the most was, Travis was not not in love with him, he was letting him go.

"Don't let me go. Please, don't let me go. Not now, not ever. Please." Scar cried more. How come he didn't see how deep his feelings ran for Travis?

Leave.

He wrote again.

"Fine." Scar muttered, and pushed his body up. Without another word, he left, closing the front door harshly.

*

Zach was peppering soft pecks all over Aaron's face because apparently, Zach was trying to kiss the rain away.

"You know it's raining right?" Aaron giggled, and tried to move away but Zach had his arms wrapped around his waist in a firm hold. Sighing, he locked his hands around the taller boy's neck and pulled him closer.

"That's just an excuse. That way I can kiss your pretty face as long as I want." Zach muttered, continuing his ministrations. For some weird reason he thought it was a good idea to move to his neck making Aaron let out a strangled moan. As soon as he did, he shut his lips, eyes widening slightly.

"So you like it," Zach smirked. He was moving down once again when Aaron placed his palms over his mouth.

"No more. We'll die out of pneumonia if we stay out in this rain any longer." Aaron said. Sure enough, both of them were dripping wet, and if they didn't do something about that real quick, Aaron's words wouldn't be that much of thought anymore.

"One more minute?" Zach whined, "Though I wouldn't mind dying with you."

"You're crazy."

"For you."

"Since when are you like this?" Aaron questioned. He punched his chest lightly when Zach made a face. "I'm being serious here, dumbass. You definitely know that I have a penis and that's not exactly what you see in a female."

"I'm well aware."

"So....um...you're gay?"

"I'm me. I'm Zach. And I like you. Bam. There you go." Zach gave a smile and that moment Aaron felt like Zach was the most beautiful thing on this planet and he really wanted to kiss him again. Yeah sorry.

"So....." Aaron was saying when Zach kissed him softly and rested on his forehead.

"I'm me, Aaron. I'm the same Zach you've known for five years, but only now I come to terms with me liking you. And I want it to be that way. I don't wanna label myself or put myself in any significant box about sexualities. I just know that I'm a guy and apparently I'm crushing on another guy."

"You sound so wise wow." Aaron giggled, "but you and I both know that's not true."

"Hey that actually hurt!" Zach countered, poking Aaron's cheeks.

"Oops."

"I'm getting revenge but let's go home for now. And I'm sleeping at yours."

"Roger."

Aaron's head was filled with what Zach said. Seriously, why do they need to put themselves in boxes? Why do they need to give a specific label to what they are or who they like? They could just be themselves. They could just be Aaron and Zach. They could just be two boys who like each other. That's enough, wasn't it?

***

hello i know im late but i moved out of my place it was shit like seriously. everything's so disturbed. school's starting on monday and hell im not prepared it's a new school and i don wanna go i just wanna sleep hhhhh im sorry

note : this chapter is lame and i mentioned this at the end so that you read that whole lame chapter before you find out that it's actually lame wow im so lame ok bye

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